NFL Power Rankings: Week 3 Edition

Now that Week 3 of the 2023 NFL season is in the books, it’s time for everyone’s favorite meaningful exercise: NFL Power Rankings! What differentiates these rankings from the others is that they’re the only truly accurate ones in the entire universe. And so let’s take a look at how all 32 teams stack up ahead of Week 4.

BLG’S WEEK 3 NFL POWER RANKINGS

1 - Miami Dolphins (Last Week: 5) - Honestly, the Dolphins are losers for not trying to tie the NFL record for points scored in a single game. Don’t kneel on fourth down in scoring territory ... kick the field goal! This team lacks a killer instinct. Putting that aside, they’re really freaking good. Any team putting up 70 points immediately vaults to intimidating status.

2 - San Francisco 49ers (LW: 2) - Brock Purdy has looked a little shaky at times but the 49ers have still only lost one of his 11 starts. They look tough to beat.

3 - Kansas City Chiefs (LW: 3) - For the first time this season, the Chiefs looked like The Chiefs. Between that and Taylor Swift being involved with Travis Kelce, our associates over at Arrowhead Pride are racking up all the pageviews.

4 - Philadelphia Eagles (LW: 4) - The Eagles are 3-0 in large part due to their dominance in the trenches. Jalen Carter already looks like a superstar and D’Andre Swift is making the most of great run blocking. This team is undefeated despite not even yet playing their ‘A-game.’

5 - Buffalo Bills (LW: 7) - The Bills rank first in DVOA and second in point differential. Josh Allen remains volatile while his supporting cast is strong.

6 - Dallas Cowboys (LW: 1) - Really bad loss after being on top of the NFL for two weeks. How do you lose by 12 points in a game you entered as 12.5-point road favorites? Pretty embarrassing. Bad run defense is suddenly a concern moving forward.

7 - Baltimore Ravens (LW: 6) - I saw a lot of “Lamar Jackson doesn’t get enough respect!” tweets on Sunday only to later see the Ravens lose to Gardner Minshew as 8.5-point home favorites. In a game where Jackson finished with an 88.4 passer rating. Maybe we don’t need to manufacture his MVP candidacy?

8 - Green Bay Packers (LW: 9) - Kudos to the Packers for battling back from a 17 to 0 deficit. Many picked this team to finish last in the NFC North but they might be the best team in their division. Big home game against Detroit coming up on Thursday night.

9 - Seattle Seahawks (LW: 10) - After unexpectedly struggling in Week 1, the Seahawks have scored 37 points in each of their last two games. They’re 2-1 and looking good.

10 - Detroit Lions (LW: 11) - Despite being banged up, the Lions were able to rebound from a Week 2 loss. Now they get a chance to prove they’re the best team in their division with Green Bay up next.

11 - Pittsburgh Steelers (LW: 13) - Kenny Pickett played turnover-free football for the first time this season. We’ll see if this performance was one to build on or if it was just about looking good against a bad team.

12 - Cleveland Browns (LW: 14) - The Browns have a really good defensive coordinator named Jim Schwartz. Ever hear of him?

13 - Jacksonville Jaguars (LW: 8) - So ... why did Doug Pederson give play-calling duties to Press Taylor again?

14 - Cincinnati Bengals (LW: 16) - Joe Burrow still doesn’t look 100% but the Bengals NEEDED to win and they did just that. Would’ve been real tough to drop to 0-3 with two division losses and the rest of the AFC North being 2-1.

15 - Los Angeles Rams (LW: 15) - After a surprising Week 1 victory, the Rams have cooled off to look more like the team many expected them to be this year. Sean McVay is still hurting the Rams by being a coward; he made an awful punt decision while down 10 points.

16 - Atlanta Falcons (LW: 12) - Desmond Ridder stinks. This team would be considerably more interesting with a viable quarterback.

17 - New Orleans Saints (LW: 17) - They blew a three-possession lead and now Derek Carr is hurt. Fortunately for them, the rest of the NFC South lost in Week 3. Unfortunately for them, perpetual turnover machine Jameis Winston is about to get some playing time.

18 - Los Angeles Chargers (LW: 20) - The Chargers were saved from Chargering by the Vikings Vikinging themselves harder.

19 - Indianapolis Colts (LW: 25) - Don’t look now but the Colts are in sole possession of first place in the AFC South after an upset win over Baltimore. Perhaps Shane Steichen’s team will remain there?

20 - Tennessee Titans (LW: 18) - Close loss, close win in OT, and a blowout loss. The Titans are meh.

21 - Minnesota Vikings (LW: 21) - One-score game regression continues to work against Minny. The Vikings won’t do it right now — if at all — but they really should trade Kirk Cousins and tank to try to get the No. 1 pick.

22 - New England Patriots (LW: 23) - This Pats team isn’t fearsome but they do have an ability to muck it up and beat some lesser opponents, such as NYJ.

23 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers (LW: 19) - Monday night was a reality check for the Bucs after a cute 2-0 start. Their ceiling is only so high with Baker Mayfield under center.

24 - New York Jets (LW: 22) - Playing Zach Wilson is an absolute waste of time. The Jets MUST make a significant move at quarterback.

25 - Houston Texans (LW: 30) - DeMeco Ryans is on the board with his first win as an NFL head coach!

26 - Washington Commanders (LW: 24) - Sam Howell looked good in Week 2. He looked terrible in Week 3. Washington’s pass protection isn’t good but Howell is not helping manners with the ninth-slowest average time to throw in the NFL.

27 - Arizona Cardinals (LW: 32) - Let’s give Jonathan Gannon some credit (gasp!): he’s 3-0 against the spread this season. He’s outperformed incredibly low expectations. This win over Dallas very well may have been a one-off bright spot but it was a good one.

28 - Las Vegas Raiders (LW: 26) - Jimmy Garoppolo leads the NFL in interceptions with six. Why mess around any longer? Let’s see what preseason standout Aidan O’Connell can do.

29 - Carolina Panthers (LW: 28) - Andy Dalton might be better than Bryce Young right now but there’s really no long-term benefit to playing the veteran once the rookie is healthy.

30 - New York Giants (LW: 31) - The Giants’ next three games: vs. Seattle, at Miami, at Buffalo. One win in that stretch would be a great outcome for them ... and they’d still be 2-4.

31 - Denver Broncos (LW: 27) - Comeuppance for Sean Payton? You unironically love to see it.

32 - Chicago Bears (LW: 29) - The Bears rank dead last in DVOA and point differential. They’re trash. They should actually keep the No. 1 overall pick this year and draft a quarterback to replace Justin Fields, who is obviously terrible.