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It’s our turn in the Taylor Swift machine

Los Angeles Chargers v Kansas City Chiefs
Can I borrow those headphones?
Photo by David Eulitt/Getty Images

The Eagles will finally play a football game on Monday night. This bye has felt like an eternity. I know it’s valuable for players and coaches but it’s brutal for fans like me. I hate it. The end is in sight though and just today I’ve started to get hyped for the Super Bowl rematch. And then I saw a report that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s parents will meet for the first time at the game. Oof. Perfect. Why wouldn’t they meet up at a hotel or a restaurant or a private residence? It’s important that this intimate family moment take place in front of millions of people so cameras can cut to them constantly while some of us are trying to watch a football game.

I’m expecting it, and I’ll try to tune it out. Since it is in my face though, I have some real concerns for Jason Kelce’s brother. After watching the Amazon doc, I can see that Jason has a great relationship with a wonderful woman. I’m sure his brother wants the same thing. Who wouldn’t want a strong, beautiful, grounded and loyal partner for life? I’m sure Taylor Swift could be some of those things to Travis, but loyal? No. I see a big red flag there. As recently as six months ago, Taylor Swift “confirmed” that she is in fact an Eagles fan.

Interesting. That means that she was rooting for the Eagles in the Super Bowl versus the Chiefs. Interesting. And now only a few short months later, she’s a rabid Chiefs fan?

Poor Mama Kelce. She looks like a hostage. The way she taps the glass and golf claps is eerie. Does she want to be there? Has her experience as a mom and a fan been robbed by the over the top performance of the pop star who took over her box? I’m a passionate fan. If you’re reading this then you are passionate about the Eagles too. None of us have ever celebrated this hard for a TD that made the game 41-0. She looks like Maury just told her she’s not the father.

Chiefs got a 3 yard gain!

Is she doing that to kiss up to Mama Kelce? Is it possible she’s really that big of a Chiefs fan? If Swift was truly a life long Eagles fan, then it feels like they cheated on her or did her wrong. For her to go so over the top as a Chiefs fan feels vindictive. I know that she’s no stranger to moving on from one love to another but what did the Eagles do to her? Why has there been no song about how awful the Eagles treated her? I have two theories about what’s going on and how this will play out.

  1. Swift is a true Eagles fan who has been been dead set on revenge since the Super Bowl. This whole thing is part of a giant plan that will be revealed on Monday night. When the Eagles take over the game, she’ll take off her Chiefs gear to reveal a bedazzled kelly green Eagles shirt. She’ll march down to the Eagles sideline and tackle Grant Calcaterra. She’ll violently pull off his helmet and make out with him. Then she’ll point at Travis Kelce and laugh at him. At midnight she’ll release a song about how dumb Chiefs fans were for thinking she’d ever switch her allegiance from the Eagles. It soars to #1 and she and Calcaterra will get married.
  2. Swift has no loyalty. When the Eagles embarrass the Chiefs on Monday night, the cameras will catch her bored and annoyed. Her relationship with Travis will quickly deteriorate and after they break up, she’ll write a song about how his mom didn’t make her feel comfortable at games. When she’s told that the Chiefs’ biggest rival is the Raiders, she will begin dating Jimmy Garoppolo. She will sit in the black hole and cheer for the Raiders like a maniac, even though Garoppolo is on the bench.
“I’ve always loved the Raiders!”

While I hope it’s option one, I think we all know that option two is far more likely. In the meantime, the Eagles can do every true football fan a favor by giving Swift NOTHING to cheer about on Monday. I just hope that when the Eagles are dominating, Mama Kelce will openly cheer for Jason and the Eagles. I’d like the cameras to catch Taylor’s confused face in those moments. We’re in the machine folks, may as well find ways to enjoy it for a week.


What’s your favorite Taylor Swift song?

This poll is closed

  • 26%
    I don’t know any Taylor Swift songs.
    (318 votes)
  • 12%
    The one about the guy she dated.
    (143 votes)
  • 60%
    Can we please stop talking about Taylor Swift?
    (719 votes)
1180 votes total Vote Now

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