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Justice for Jalen

Philadelphia Eagles v Washington Football Team The scene of the crime.

Sunday Jan 2, 2022 12:58pm Landover, Maryland

Jalen Hurts had just led the Eagles to a 20-16 victory over the team then known as the Washington Football Team. The victory clinched a playoff berth for the Eagles in Hurts’ first full season as the starter. He had worked so hard and overcome so much to get to this moment. He was given a season to prove himself and he took the team to the playoffs. This was a jubilant, proud moment for him. Well, it should have been. As he exited FedEx field for the tunnel to celebrate, everything changed in an instant. He was attacked. By a set of bleachers.

The bleachers attempted to assault Jalen Hurts, while throwing several Eagles fans into his lap. A joyous moment for Jalen was stolen when a jealous, old bleacher lashed out violently. Hurts and the fans who were ejected from the bleachers all escaped alive, but it could’ve been much worse. Jalen posted an open letter to the Washington Football Team about the incident and team President Jason Wright called and assured him that they were fortifying that area of the bleachers and that several safety measures would be in effect the next time the Eagles visited. Case closed, right? Wrong. Questions remain:

Why did the bleachers do it? I searched and searched for a statement on social media or an interview with the bleachers and found nothing. The mysterious malcontent has remained silent and never given an interview. Until now. I reached out this week and was shocked when the bleachers agreed to a phone interview.

Exclusive interview.

Here is part of the transcript:

David: Why did you do it?

Bleachers: I fell. Plain and simple. I’m old and in terrible shape and it was an accident.

David: Don’t you think the timing was pretty convenient? The Eagles clinch a playoff berth on your field and celebrate with their fans who took over the place. And that’s when you suddenly “fall” on their star quarterback?

Bleachers: Was I upset about the game? Yeah. But that’s not me, that’s not my character. It’s all very innocent. I fell. It’s not an exciting answer but it’s the truth.

David: Have you apologized to Jalen Hurts?

Bleachers: No.

David: If he were to walk by you this Sunday, what would you do?

(Long pause)

Bleachers: He should walk by and find out.

The way he said that last part was chilling. This is a set of bleachers that has no remorse and no shame. This was no accident. This leads to my next question:

Why haven’t the bleachers been charged with a crime? If you ask the Landover police department why charges haven’t been filed, they’ll probably tell you that they can’t charge an inanimate object with a crime. But is that true? Has anybody ever tried? Just because it’s never been done before doesn’t mean you can’t do it. I call on the Landover police department to charge the bleachers at FedEx field for attacking Jalen Hurts.

Can you imagine what it feels like for Hurts to have to go back and face his attacker every year? You’d think that would be difficult for him, but it sure doesn’t seem that way. My next question:

Does Jalen Hurts play better in Washington because winning is the best revenge? Last September in his first game back at the crime scene, Hurts threw for 340 yards and 3 TDs as the Eagles destroyed Carson Wentz and the team now known as the Commanders. A complete domination. A few weeks later the Eagles hosted the Commanders and were handed their first loss of the season. What?? Then a few weeks ago the Commanders took us to overtime in Philly. I don’t get it. Why did we dominate this team at the scene of the crime and then get beaten and taken to the wire on our home field? Does Washington actually match up really well and have a good chance of beating us every time? Is Jalen’s need for vengeance against the bleachers so great that he’s able to take his game to a whole new level when he plays at FedEx? By that logic, Hurts should have an incredible game this Sunday and the Eagles will dominate the Commanders.

Hurts is clearly motivated by the lack of justice and lack of closure with a set of bitter, evil bleachers. If destroying the Commanders in front of his nemesis brings him peace, then I’m all for it. I just hope that he keeps his helmet on when walking in and out of tunnels


Should the FedEx Field bleachers be charged with a crime?

This poll is closed

  • 71%
    Yes, we need justice for Jalen.
    (568 votes)
  • 28%
    No. Even though the bleachers are guilty and deserve punishment, it’s a slippery slope when you start charging inanimate objects with crimes.
    (224 votes)
792 votes total Vote Now


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