Eagles schedule preview: Dolphins

The Eagles take their talents to South Beach

When and where: Week 13 in Miami

Last season: 7-9. Offense: Scoring 26th, Yards 31st, DVOA 26th; Defense: Scoring 27th, Yards 29th, DVOA 25th

Notable additions: Ryan Fitzpatrick, HC Brian Flores

Notable losses: Danny Amendola, Frank Gore, Ju’Wuan James, Ryan Tannehill, Cameron Wake, HC Adam Gase

What are they good at?

You know on Jeopardy when time is running out on like Potent Potables for $800, they have this wide shot of all the contestants with a blank look on their face because none of them have any idea what to say, there’s an awkward silence for a few seconds then the buzzer goes, Alex Trebek gives the answer, and the silence continues as the contestants just stare into the void? That’s how I feel trying to find something the Dolphins will be good at in 2019.

What are they bad at?

Their offense was terrible last year and it will be terrible this year. Their defense was terrible last year and it will be terrible this year. Their head coach was terrible last year and since they replaced him with the latest edition of A Bill Belichick Assistant Coach, their head coach will be terrible this year. I like their trade for Josh Rosen, that’s the kind of gamble a team needs to make to change their fortunes. But then they drafted a fullback. A fullback.

They’ve got nothing Alex.

Why the Eagles will win

The Dolphins might be the worst team in the league. By the time this game rolls around, Miami could easily be starting Josh Rosen just to see what they have.

Why the Eagles will lose

*Jeopardy buzzer goes off*