The NFC East is trash again

Bill Belichick, who knows a thing or two about winning Super Bowls (and also lost some, you may remember) once said that a key to the regular season is setting yourself up for the stretch run after Thanksgiving. At least, I think he said that, I’m not going to look it up. You will see this material again.

Well, Thanksgiving is now behind us and lo and behold none of the NFC is set up for the stretch run. It feels good in a way, there’s a comforting, familiar feeling that the division is trash again. If the Eagles or Cowboys make the playoffs, there is going to be a sizable portion of their own fanbase who will be upset because the “success” of winning the division will prevent the team from making necessary changes, and they won’t be wrong to feel that way. That’s where we’re at. Happy holidays!

Dallas Cowboys

Signature win: None. The Cowboys have beaten the Giants, who are trash; the Redskins, who are trash; the Dolphins, who are trash; the Lions, who are trash, and the Eagles, who are trash.

Signature loss: They lost to the Jets.

Sam Darnold looked as good in that game as his 113.8 passer rating would indicate. He had a 3.6 the following game. A 110.2 delta between starts has to be a record. I’m not going to look it up, I’m going to go ahead and proclaim it a record. Congratulations Dallas.

Anyone get fired? Not yet but on the global list of coaches who will be fired in the near future you can cross Unai Emery off this morning and move Jason Garret up one spot closer to the top.

Off field drama: The Cowboys traded for a guy who is on his fourth team in three years and he yelled at this teammates last night so I’m pretty sure he’ll be on his fifth team in four years next season, if he’s even in the league at all. I wonder if Orlando Scandrick will have anything to say about it. Probably not.

Trash factor: As you know they are 0-5 vs teams with a winning record. Also they lost to the Jets. Even the Dolphins haven’t lost to the Jets! They got trash talked by the Bills.

Jason Garrett won games as a quarterback more recently than the Bills have won a playoff game and he’s out here getting dunked on by them. Enjoy.

Philadelphia Eagles

Signature win: Hey remember when they beat the Packers? That was cool.

Signature loss: The high point of the Falcons and Lions seasons was when they beat the Eagles. At least the Eagles made someone happy for a little while.

Anyone get fired? Orlando Scandrick.

Off field drama: Orlando Scandrick.

Trash factor: Is it that the offense needs a 32 year old who hasn’t played 75% of snaps since 2014 to look functional? Is it that nobody on the defense is having a good season?

No, it’s that two years ago the leadership and camaraderie in the locker room was what propelled the team to a Super Bowl and now with mostly the same core they apparently all hate each other. Or just the QB.

New York Giants

Signature win: Jameis Winston only turned the ball over once against the Giants but lost as Daniel “Danny Dimes” Jones broke out for two touchdowns.

Signature loss: The Giants lost to the Lions after a pretty good performance by the offense that almost certainly played a factor in Dave Gettleman deciding that the best use of their 3rd round pick this offseason is on a free agent to be defensive lineman with as many sacks this year as you have. Before the trade they were giving up 27 points a game, they’ve given up 30 a game since.

Anyone get fired? Eli Manning was benched for what should be the final time of his career, and the AAF and Arena League no longer existing he’s running out of options.

Off field drama: Landon Collins and Josh Norman both ripped Dave Gettleman for what they felt was hypocrisy with the way they were treated when he let them go. And though they are probably right, they both wound up on the Redskins, so nobody wins here. Kind of like their seasons.

Trash factor: Three teams have lost at least seven straight games this season: the tanking Dolphins, the winless Bengals, and the Giants.

Washington Redskins

Signature win: Dolphins are trying to lose every game. The Redskins beat the Dolphins by one (1) point. In the two games before and two games after that win the Redskins scored a combined 19 points.

Signature loss: The 49ers are possibly the best team in the league. They’re 2nd in the league in scoring. The Redskins held them to 9 points. And lost. It was only the 5th 9-0 game since 1940, so I hope everyone who watched enjoyed seeing a rarity.

Anyone get fired? Jay Gruden now has more time to hang out at bars and try to pick up women who aren’t his wife.

Off field drama: Trent Williams said he’d never play for the Redskins. The Redskins said they weren’t trading him. So of course at the trade deadline everyone did a 180. The Redskins put him on the market, found no offers and then Williams reported back, and didn’t pass a physical and rule him out for the year. Nobody won. WASTEAM gonna WASTEAM.

Trash factor: This is going to happen: