FINAL SCORE: Eagles offense sucks in loss to Patriots, 17-10

The Philadelphia Eagles are 5-5 after being defeated by the New England Patriots on Sunday. Final score: 17 to 0.

This offense sucks ass!

Read on for a recap, I guess.

FIRST QUARTER

Coin toss: Patriots win the toss, elect to defer. Eagles will receive first.

Eagles 1st drive: Boston Scott — not Miles Sanders — is back to receive and it’s a touchback. The Eagles open in 22 personnel with Sanders and Scott in the backfield. Scott motions out, Carson Wentz buys some time in the pocket and chucks it deep, and Scott draws a defensive pass interference penalty. Who knew Scott was the Eagles’ best deep threat? A Sanders run brings up 2nd-and-3 but a Jason Peters false start knocks it back five yards. Welcome back, JP. Wentz’s wheel route throw to Sanders goes out of bounds to bring up 3rd-and-8. On third down, Wentz’s throw for Jordan Matthews is high and incomplete. Eagles settle for a 42-yard Jake Elliott field goal attempt and he makes it. Could have been a worse start. EAGLES 3, PATRIOTS 0.

Patriots 1st drive: The Patriots’ first play is a Tom Brady screen pass for a first down. Brady misses an open Julian Edelman to bring up 3rd-and-7 from the Pats’ own 40-yard line. Brady misses a screen throw and the Pats are already off the field. Brady washed? (Probably not!) Brandon Graham managed to hit Brady on that third down throw.

Eagles 2nd drive: Eagles move to 3rd-and-5 and JJ Arcega-Whiteside makes a catch for a first down! But it’s wiped out with Jason Peters being penalized as an illegal man down the field. Two straight drives with a JP penalty. Not great. Wentz has Mack Hollins open on third down but his pass sails out of bounds. Great route by Hollins, Wentz just missed him. Bad. Can’t leave those plays on the field. Three-and-out.

Patriots 2nd drive: Patriots take over at their own 26-year-old after a nice special teams tackle on the punt return by Craig James. Former Patriots draft pick Kamu Grugier-Hill comes up with a big tackle for loss against his former team to bring up 3rd-and-12. Brady dumps it off on third down on Graham makes the tackle to bring up fourth down. Great start by Jim Schwartz’s defense.

Eagles 3rd drive: Eagles take over at their own 5-yard line after a nice Patriots punt. Offense needs to get going here. A Scott run and a short Wentz throw to Ertz brings up 3rd-and-2. Wentz beats the blitz by getting it out to Sanders in the flat for a first down. Wentz dumps off to Ertz for nine yards and then an illegal hands to the face on the Pats give the Eagles another first down. Great call from Doug Pederson as Dallas Goedert stays in to block before leaking out for a big catch-and-run. Love that. Scott runs for five yards, he’s looking solid so far. Sanders takes a carry for a first down. Wentz avoid defenders and takes off running for eight yards. Then Sanders takes another carry for another first down. That’s the end of the first quarter. Eagles stringing together another one of their very long drives into the red zone.

SECOND QUARTER

Eagles 3rd drive (continued): Sanders catches a short pass to make it 2nd-and-15 from the 14-yard line. Weird because Jason Kelce was in the slot on that play!

Sanders takes a carry to bring up 1st-and-goal from the 8-yard line. Sanders takes another carry to bring up 2nd-and-goal from the 5-yard line. Wentz buys time and hits Agholor in the back of the end zone but there isn’t enough room for the receiver to stay in. Wentz hits a tightly contested Dallas Goedert in the end zone and it’s a ... interception?! The refs rule that the Patriots defender ripped the ball out of Goedert’s control before he ever had possession for a touchdown. Wow. Upon further review, the refs reverse the call and it’s a touchdown! As it should be. Huge 16-play, 95-yard drive. EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 0.

Patriots 3rd drive: Brady’s first down pass goes off Sony Michel’s hands and is almost picked by Gruger-Hill. Dang. That would’ve been huge. The Pats run a trick play with a lateral back to Brady, who fires deep and ... has his pass knocked down by Ronald Darby. Way to not fall for the fake. Jalen Mills knocks down Brady’s underthrown deep pass for Edelman and it’s 3rd-and-10 from the Pats’ own 47-yard line. On third down, Brady finds a wide open tight end for a 22-yard gain. Ugh. Brady is rocked by Derek Barnett as he throws into the ground to avoid a sack. Pats get to 3rd-and-10 again and Avonte Maddox is called for defensive pass interference after pushing Edelman in the back. Kinda weak but okay. Pats get to 3rd-and-3 from the Eagles’ 17-yard line and coverage holds up as Brady is forced to throw the ball away. Great stop. Patriots have to settle for the 35-yard Nick Folk field goal. EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 3.

Eagles 4th drive: Lane Johnson isn’t on the field after getting carted off. He’s being evaluated for a head injury, his return is questionable. Halapoulivaati Vaitai — not Andre Dillard — in at right tackle. Scott muffs the kickoff return and then fumbles it as the Patriots somehow manage to not recover. Incredibly fortunate there. Wentz is sacked to bring up 3rd-and-17. Wentz rolls right and throws to Jordan Matthews on third down but the two can’t connect. Three-and-out.

Patriots 4th drive: Pats take over at the Eagles’ 48-yard line after a decent punt return from Mohamed Sanu. Pats get to 3rd-and-7 after Vinny Curry pressures Brady into an incompletion. On third down, Edelman beats Maddox and Brady hits him for the first down. Nathan Gerry is hurt and now the Eagles are down to their third string middle linebacker option. Brady picks on Maddox yet again and the Pats drive to 2nd-and-goal from the 4-yard line. Rodney McLeod drops a Brady pick in the end zone, ugh. Lot of missed opportunities by the secondary today. Brady’s second down pass to Edelman is caught at first before being knocked out by Maddox. Big play. On third down, Brady’s throw short of the end zone is incomplete. Just a missed throw. Pats settle for the 22-yard field goal attempt and Folk makes it. Defense is having a pretty good game thus far. EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 6.

Eagles 5th drive: The Eagles could really use some points here. Or not. Wentz fumbles on 2nd-and-6 and the Pats recover. Wentz has not had a very good game against this top ranked Patriots defense.

Patriots 5th drive: Patriots take over in great field position at the Eagles’ 22-yard line. Pats get to 3rd-and-9 and Brady’s throw is incomplete. Pats settle for another Folk field goal and the 39-yard try is good. EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 9.

Eagles 6th drive: Eagles take over with 1:44 remaining in the first half. Wentz hits Agholor (looks like he maybe meant to hit Ertz!?) for a first down. Then he hits Ertz for another first down. Another completion to Ertz and the Eagles are suddenly at the Pats’ 44-yard line. Wentz is sacked to bring up 3rd-and-5. Kelce’s low snap goes off Wentz’s hands and the quarterback is sacked again. Squandered an opportunity to get points.

Patriots 6th drive: Pats take a knee to end the first half.

THIRD QUARTER

Patriots 7th drive: Rex Burkhead stiff arms the shit out of Gerry to pick up a 30-yard gain on a catch-and-run. Terrible tackle attempt from the linebacker. Pats drive into the red zone. Pats get to 3rd-and-12 from the 15-yard line. On third down, Brady laterals to Edelman, who then throws a touchdown to a wide open Phillip Dorsett. Too easy. Pats go for the two-point conversion and get it. The Eagles’ lead is gone. EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 17.

Eagles 7th drive: Sanders runs for no gain. Wentz drops back and his throw for Goedert is ... dropped. Would’ve been a first down. Wentz’s third down pass for JMatt is short of the sticks for a six-yard gain. Punt. This offense suuuuuuuuucks.

Patriots 8th drive: Pats get to 3rd-and-5. Brady airs it out deep to Ben Watson and it’s overthrown. Pats go three-and-out.

Eagles 8th drive: Time for the offense to wake up. Eagles get helped out with another illegal hands to the face on the Pats. Scott breaks off a 12-yard run. False start on Isaac Seumalo knocks the Eagles back to 2nd-and-14. Wentz’s second down throw for Matthews along the sideline is incomplete and then Vaitai gets blown out as Wentz is sacked on third down. Another punt.

Patriots 8th drive: Cameron Johnston shanks a punt and the Pats take over at the 50-yard line. The Pats fumble but the refs whistle the play dead due to forward progress being stopped. Don’t agree with that ruling but the knee looked down anyway. The refs’ call saves Doug Pederson from burning a challenge and a timeout. Pats end up having to punt.

Eagles 9th drive: False start on Andre Dillard knocks the Eagles back to 1st-and-11 from their own 2-yard line. Sanders runs for a loss to bring up 2nd-and-12 from the 1-yard line. Sanders runs again to bring up 3rd-and-8. The Eagles are 2/8 on third down. Wentz with a bad throw to Sanders and it’s incomplete. Another three-and-out. This offense suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Patriots 9th drive: On first down, Brady is sacked by ... Gerry?! Brady’s second down pass is incomplete. The Pats are facing 3rd-and-17 and Brady’s pass is incomplete. Mills had a chance to pick it but it happened very quick.

Eagles 10th drive: Scott runs for no gain to bring up the end of the third quarter.

FOURTH QUARTER

Eagles 10th drive (continued): Hey, a first down through the air! It’s Wentz to Ertz. Scott runs for no gain. Wentz runs to bring up 3rd-and-2. Wentz’s third down meant for Agholor is tipped and incomplete. This offense is really great!

Patriots 10th drive: Darby breaks up a Brady throw to bring up 3rd-and-6. The Pats convert. The Pats get to 3rd-and-10 and Brady airs it out. Maddox has great coverage but drops the pick and then gets awkwardly dragged down by Edelman from behind. Yikes.

Eagles 11th drive: Wentz delivers a dime to Ertz in stride for a 20-yard gain. Omg, a chunk play!

Jamie Collins gets his hands on a Wentz throw but can’t bring it in for the pick. On 3rd-and-8, Wentz gives Matthews a contested catch opportunity and the ball bricks off the receiver’s hands. Ah, welcome back, JMatt. Punt.

Patriots 11th drive: Quality 59-yard punt from Johnston pins the Patriots at their own 2-yard line. Maddox is back in the game. Pats get to 3rd-and-4 and Brady’s pass is short of the sticks. Punt.

Eagles 12th drive: Another Rudy Ford special teams penalty (fourth this year) pins the Eagles back to their own 6-yard line. Wentz rolls out and chucks the ball down field to an open Arcega-Whiteside! Is that allowed?

Wentz’s pass for Goedert is broken up by former Eagles safety Terrence Brooks. Pats get penalized for defensive holding. Peters leaves the game with an injury and now the Eagles are down to both of their backup offensive tackles playing. Wentz picks up another first down with a throw to a tightly covered Goedert. The Eagles reach the Pats’ 45-yard line at the 2:00 minute warning. Wentz is almost picked on an out route to Matthews, fortunate it’s incomplete. Wentz’s second down pass for a WIDE OPEN Agholor crossing over the middle is tipped and incomplete. It’s 3rd-and-10. On third down, Wentz hits Agholor — who actually CATCHES the ball — for a 19-yard gain. Inconceivable! Two errant throws from Wentz get the Eagles into 3rd-and-10 again. Wentz has Ertz open but just misses the throw. Awful. On 4th-and-10, Wentz airs it out to Agholor who ... drops the would-be touchdown catch. What a surprise, Agholor can’t track a ball in the air.

Patriots 12th drive: The Pats run and force the Eagles to burn their remaining timeouts.

Eagles 13th drive: The Eagles take over at their own 12-yard line with 34 seconds left and no timeouts. Holding on Kelce knocks the Eagles back to the 6-yard line with 27 seconds left. Goedert bobbles a Wentz pass and it’s picked off ... except there’s an unnecessary roughness penalty on the Pats to wipe it out. Wentz to Ertz gets the Eagles to their own 42-yard line with two seconds left. Hail Mary time. Wentz’s throw is incomplete. Game.

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FINAL SCORE: 17 to 10, Eagles lose

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