[EDITOR'S NOTE: Promoted from the FanPosts.]
Heya all,
I have to start this whole thing by raining love and affection on TB Eisen.
I for one, and the fact is there are legions of others who feel as I do, absolutely loved their Series: What They're Saying. I looked forward to it every week. It was the icing on the cake of the most recent Eagles victory: the funny comments from other blogs, stupid Cowboy fans being...well Cowboy fans. It was a collection of thoughts taken on the fly from this emotional stew we call football.
I remember the forum holding its breath after Super Bowl 52...waiting for the ultimate WTS.
And TB did not disappoint. That four part series covering the whole game was a magnum opus that I still go back and read (I may have also rewatched the game itself 14 times....you know you did it too, filthy liar). That had to have been a ton of work and I give TB mad props for doing that, for all of us.
Maybe it's this long emotional roller coaster called the 2018 Eagle Season, but for whatever reason...TB (hey TB...can I call you TB ??) hasn't done a WTS in a long time. I tried reaching out to TB a few months ago, to give some encouragement in the hopes that WTS would come back.... but didn't hear anything. After emailing BLG, I got the fateful words, "who are you, and why are you bothering me ".
Actually, he said "give it a shot".
As I always do what BLG says (long may he reign), below is my feeble attempt to recreate some of TB Eisen's magic. I hope you like it. I had a lot of fun putting it together (and got closer to my elusive carpal tunnel goal).
A few changes:
I've only pulled from the Rams, Cowboys (bonus at the end) and Eagles feeds this time (there were lots and lots of comments overall and I'd be writing till Superbowl 54 if I did all the teams).
I decided to start with the Rams game, which is really where the season turned around, and follow us through till the end...hopefully after Super Bowl 53. I figured reliving the biggest win since LII would give us some momentum heading into the 2018 playoffs.
With all that said, lets Rock and Roll!
PREGAME
Observations:
1) Rams are pretty confident (as they should be). 13 point favorites
2) If the outcome was decided by number of comments, we would have crushed them 4 times over.
3) BGN was way better keeping track of game action. Rams Blog was high on bath salts or something
4) The vuvuzela /vuːvuːˈzɛlə/, also known as lepatata (its Tswana name), is a plastic horn, about 65 centimetres (2 ft) long, which produces a loud monotone note, typically around B♭ 3 (the B♭ below middle C). My madness will become apparent later, stay with me.
(Yes our logo is bigger than yours, Los Angeles. Artistic license, deal with it)
^ Graphic, but accurate
There were 10,000 more "run the ball" in there, trust me
FIRST QUARTER
3 points. Soul crushing.
Only when the QB needs his binky
RAMS SCORE A TD AND ORDER IS RESTORED TO THE UNIVERSE
People say the Eagles are not good. The guy with the broccoli falafel in row G
EAGLES GET THE BALL AND MOVE IT SOME (but have to punt)
FIRST QUARTER
Oh Snap
EAGLES FIELD GOAL TO DRAW FIRST BLOOD
RAMS SCORE A TD, COX IS HURT
Is this a Pirates of the Caribbean reference? Wouldn't it be rum in that case?
SECOND QUARTER AND SCREW YOU TURF SHOW TIMES FOR PUTTING EVERY COMMENT IN ONE GOD FORSAKEN LONG THREAD
RAMS LEAD 7-3
EAGLES SCORED A FG SOMEWHERE BUT THE RAMS DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT SO THE HELL WITH IT
7-6 Rams lead
RAMS GET THE BALL READY TO ASSERT DOMINANCE
THEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS
GOFF PICKED
Some constructive dialog breaks out:
Bonus points for "ipso facto"
Meh indeed, Mr Fish
THE COLD SPECTRE OF DOUBT BEGINS TO CREEP
That might be true
EAGLES TD !! 13-7 EAGLES LEAD. COLLINSWORTH MAKES SOME FRIENDS
SOME OTHER ACTION ENSUES. I MISSED ANOTHER FG IN HERE SOMEWHERE BUT RAMS BLOG CARES NOT FOR FGs SO THERE IS NO HISTORICAL RECORD
SCORE AT THE HALF 13-13
SECOND QUARTER (RAMS 7, EAGLES 3)
EAGLES START A GOOD DRIVE
Interesting concept. Get me a working script and Tom Cruise on line 1.
EAGLES GET CLOSE BUT THEN:
EAGLES SETTLE FOR 3 (RAMS 7, EAGLES 6) BGN loves FGs
RAMS GET THE BALL BUT THEN:
GOFF PICKED
^I think this is a Patton reference....for you old timers
DOUBT STILL REMAINS
SUBSEQUENT EAGLES DRIVE STALLS AFTER 4th DOWN
RAMS THEN START TO MOVE
^ You and me both, brother
EAGLES FORCE A FG WITH A SACK (10-6 Rams)
EAGLES GET THE BALL DOWN 10-6
^Christmas came early (almost)
MOB IS RESTLESS
BUT THEN....ALSHON BIG CATCH
AND ADAMS FINISHES (13-10 EAGLES)
RAMS GET THE BALL AND DO SOME STUFF.
BUT EAGLES GET THE STOP. MORE MADDOX ACTION. FG TIES THE GAME at 13
^Dream on loser. Never gonna happen
THE HALFTIME SHOW
THIRD QUARTER
TIE GAME 13 ALL
(EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND)
ALSHON 50 YARD BOMB WHERE AGGY WAS CLOSEST DEFENDER
SMALLWOOD TD RUN (EAGLES 20-RAMS 13)
RAMS GET THE BALL BUT GO 3 and OUT
Harlequin icthyosis is some next level whining, wow (and no...don't go look it up)
(...you just did, didn't you? SMH....millennials....)
EAGLES BALL, 10 play 52 yard DRIVE FOR A FG (23-13 Good Guys)
RAMS BALL. SHOWTIME FOR MR GOFF
OVER THE SHOULDER COAL HEAVE SHOVEL PASS SPIDER Y 2 BANANNA
EAGLES BALL AT RAMS 12. SURELY THE DEFENSE WILL HOLD
NO. SMALLWOOD TD (EAGLES 30-RAMS 13)
RAMS BALL, BUT FAIL TO GET A FIRST DOWN. PUNTER THROWS A COMPLETE PASS ON 4th...OR DOES HE
THIRD QUARTER
EAGLES 13, RAMS 13
EAGLES GET THE BALL BUT DON'T DO MUCH. TEAMS TRADE SOME 3 and OUTS
CAMERON GREAT PUNT: RAMS BALL AT THEIR OWN 5
EAGLES D PLAYING WITH THEIR HAIR ON FIRE
RAMS PUNT, EAGLES BALL 13-13 TIE
50 YARD BOMB WITH AGGY DEFENDING ALSHON (BADLY)
SMALLWOOD TD (EAGLES 20, RAMS 13)
SOME STUFF HAPPENS, RAMS PUNT. EAGLES GET A FG (23-13 Good Guys)
It was me. You're welcome
^(some drinking going on at this point, I think)
RAMS BALL. TIME FOR MR GOFF TO REDEEM HIMSELF
STEPPED ON OVER THE SHOULDER NO LOOK SHOVEL PASS ON TURBOOOOO SET
SMALLWOOD TD (EAGLES 30, RAMS 13)
RAMS BALL DOWN 17, FAKE PUNT HITS THE GROUND
Scotchy Scotch. I love Scotch
FOURTH QUARTER
EAGLES 30, RAMS 13
ALL ABOARD THE BLOWOUT HOME LOSS.....UNTIL NICK MAKES HIS ONLY MISTAKE
SOME GOFF HATE FLOWS. RAMS GET AN UNDOCUMENTED FG (30-16 Good guys)
EAGLES CANT DO ANYTHING AND PUNT
RAMS SCORE A TD with 4 MINUTES LEFT (30-23 Good Guys)
EAGLES GET THE BALL AND ONLY USE A MINUTE OF CLOCK. 3 MINUTES LEFT. EAGLES PUNTING THE BALL TO A SURGING RAMS TEAM....
EAGLES GET THE BALL, 90 SECONDS TO GO, LINE UP FOR A 53 YARD FG TO ICE IT
^(I'm confused....what's the sun have to do with this night game)
ELLIOT MISSES, RAMS HAVE 73 SECONDS TO GO 55 YARDS
LAST THROW INCOMPLETE. GAME OVER. EAGLES 30, RAMS 23
AND THE BEST COMMENT FOR LAST
Yes....YES WE DO
FOURTH QUARTER
EAGLES 30, RAMS 13
EAGLES KNOCKING ON THE DOOR TO END IT....and THEN FOLES....
RAMS TAKE OVER AND CONSUME 5 MINUTES OF CLOCK TO GET A FG
EAGLES 30, RAMS 16
^ Yes a shameless plug for myself. Helluva comment, IMHO
BUT EAGLES LINE UP TO PUNT WITH 5 MINUTES LEFT....AND THIS GUY SAYS
BUT HE'S TOO SOON !
RAMS GET THE BALL AND START TO DRIVE
^ This guy freaking nailed it....wow. Tell me the PowerBall #s please
RAMS TD, 30-23 NOW, 4 MINUTES LEFT
EAGLES GET THE BALL BUT HAVE A DISASTROUS DRIVE of 1 MINUTE
EAGLES HAVE TO PUNT WITH 3 MINUTES LEFT
BALL ARCS THROUGH THE AIR TOWARDS JO JO... AND REMEMBER THIS GUY ?
WELL.....ABOUT THAT
DONE. TOO SLOW NORM
EAGLES TRY TO GET IN FG RANGE TO END IT
JAKE LINES UP TO KICK A 54 YARDER to END IT, 80 SECONDS LEFT
JAKE MISSES !
EAGLES NEED TO HOLD, RAMS BALL 70 SECONDS LEFT, 55 YARDS TO PAYDIRT
MADDOX THEN MAKES A HUGE PLAY, KEEPING GURLEY IN BOUNDS
LAST PLAY.....
(^there were 10,000 more "not gonna score" in there. Trust me)
PASS INCOMPLETE. CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER
^ WELL....ABOUT THAT LAST PART...
BONUS OVERTIME COWBOY COMMENTS
(I decided to just put in the biggest moments of the game: Pre-game, The Goff Coal-Heaver Impression, The Muffed Punt, and the Final Play)
PREGAME
^ Nah. They are asleep at the switch over there
GOFF SHOVEL PASS TO NOWHERE
^ lol
THE MUFFED PUNT
^ THAT WERE PURTY GOL DURN FUNNY CAMRIN !
If this is your first night at Fight Club, I will kick your ass
THE FINAL PLAY
^ Those losers will never get in Mr Brendy
OK, PEACE OUT FOLKS. FLY EAGLES FLY
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