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What They’re Saying About the Eagles W1: Failcons

Football is back, kinda.

NFL: Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to a new season of WTS. The off-season definitely felt way too long, but now football (or something that somewhat resembles it) is back, and we can look forward to a whole new season of salt-encrusted sentiments, bullshit insecurities, and amazingly underrated analysis:

Philly’s home opener was a semi shit show in a game where there were more penalties than points, but they still managed to produce that sweet, glorious ‘W’. Regardless of that win however, the Birds definitely need to clean up their act a bit.

As the reigning Super Bowl Champs, most SB nation web sites placed the Eagles in first for their rankings.

BGN vets can remember the ranking love given to us by that beautiful SB Titan’s blog, Music City Miracles. Without any question from their members, they randomly over ranked us, even after most other folks had given up. During the times they couldn’t rank us first, they still gave us some love. It’s understandable now that they would be vocally upset if we personally didn’t return the favor or faith...

I personally blame BLG because A) everyone else usually does, and B) it was his rankings they were upset over, which angered them as a whole, thus making it harder for them to randomly rank us super high for no damn reason moving forward. I now hold him personally responsible if we fall out of their good graces.

In the random case that any random Titans fans are randomly reading this, I think you guys rank somewhere in between 8 and 28. A lot of wiggle room there!!

Anyway, with a new season of WTS, there are always a couple of things that everyone can look forward to, such as our Detroit Lions diplomat, Harrington HOF, Holding down the MNF game threads over at Pride of Detroit (may their season rest in peace).

Me too Alex Reno, me too.

We can also look forward to “thatDolphins fan. Miami fans at The Phinsider always seem to display Alfred Hitchcock levels of ‘good morning neighbor’ politeness, but for whatever reason, there is always that one random Phins fan that absolutely hates Philly.

Every damn year.

For this game (and possibly the season), it was some member appropriately named hotsaucesteve, who was most likely posting comments from his mother’s basement in South Philadelphia.

A very intelligent and well thought out, albeit random opinion. Thank you hotsaucesteve.

One thing we CAN’T look forward to is Cowboy commentary from TONY_P. Yes ladies and gentlemen, TONY_P was officially banned from BtB this past March, apparently because he was an “Undercover Eagles troll”. Unbeknownst to most of their members, TONY_P has been banned from BGN since January of 2014.


Most likely for mocking our empty trophy case. I could understand why someone who spoke the way he did could be construed as a troll, you know, by assessing Dak as a mediocre QB, calling out the FO and coaches, and comparing their struggles with our success. Being as though he lived in the Philadelphia Metro Area, I feel no sympathy for him, but only rejoice in the irony that his northeastern cynical honesty ultimately led to his banishment from BtB , one of the thinnest skinned boards on SBN.

I will now hold a small service for TONY_P and his untimely passing, by featuring some of his comments that were removed from BtB the day he was exiled.


“NO, defense lost when the FO refused to improve the talent. enough with the excuses....they should hand out diapers on this blog”


“Others would define that as delusional...... being a fan never meant having to check your intellect at the door... This team is BAD, offense, defense, FO and coaching…..and beating another 5-6 team doesn’t chnge that. I wish it wasn’t true, but, as I said, I am not delusional.”


“I will neither freak out or chicken little over anything..... But if this team fails again next season i will rain down a sh— storm the likes of which this site has never seen.”


“Hey, at what point will the boys participate in FA.... the good players should all be signed by now leaving our boys to scoop up those bargains. Who will be this year’s Nolan Carroll…. or this year’s Damontre Moore…. surely theres a player with no legs that needs a starting job on an NFL team……or on the Cowboys.”

Sadly, TONY_P was banned the same day as that last comment. He was a passionate Cowboys fan with a Philly attitude. Let’s now all collectively bow our heads in a show of respect.


Moving on.

This game was relatively boring and painful for mostly everyone watching, so let’s get on with the show.

Notes from the Game:

1) Some teams you would usually expect to be salty showed support (looking at you Saints), but on average, it seems we’ve gained some new haters (damn near everyone else). Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

2) The Boyz II Men’s rendition of the National Anthem was a work of art.

3) People seem to really dislike our fight song.

4) Dawkins is the man.

5) It was almost unanimously declared that Collinsworth still sucks.

6) This game was kind of boring, nobody knows what a catch is, everyone hates the new rules, QB’s should wear tutus made of bubble wrap, the refs were dreadful, and storm delays are for the weak.

7) Fuck Dallas.

Random musings about NBC’s new dark green field graphics:

One thing for sure though, everyone was happy that FOOTBALL IS BACK.