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The NFC East is back to being hilariously bad

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Turn back the clock

NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

We’re about halfway through the 2018 season and with it we can say with certainty that the NFC East is back. Back to its glorious and horrendous ways where everyone stinks. It’s beautiful. The good times were killing me.

Washington Redskins (4-2)

Best loss of the season: 21-9 to the Colts. Indianapolis has given up 30+ points four times this season, and 35+ three times. The Redskins managed nine (9). The Derek Anderson led Bills (Colin Kaepernick should win his collusion case with ease) scored as many touchdowns against the Colts as the Redskins did. Oh yeah this was a home game for the Redskins.

Worst win of the season: 20-17 over the Cowboys. Dak Prescott, who is apparently trying to average less than 200 yards a game this year, had a season high in passing yards with 273. Alex Smith couldn’t hit a 200, he finished with 178. They should have lost, but Jason Garrett played for overtime and then L.P. Ladouceur was so excited for Red Dead Redemption 2 that he played Five Finger Fillet with the football.

Goal for the rest of the season: Win the division for the third time in Dan Snyder’s 20 years of ownership, then lose in the first round to Matthew Stafford or Mitchell Trubisky, who will then lose by 20+ the next week.

Philadelphia Eagles (3-4)

Best loss of the season: 26-23 to the Titans in OT. Sure, the Panthers meltdown was terrible, but the Panthers aren’t a bad team. Following the Eagles game the Titans went ten quarters without scoring a touchdown, and in the seven quarters prior to the Eagles game, they hadn’t scored a touchdown.

Worst win of the season: 34-13 over the Giants. The Eagles beat perhaps the worst team in the league and in the wake of it boasted about how they got their swagger back. It looked something like this:

Goal for the rest of the season: Refocus after the bye, win at least four the five remaining games against the division to squeak into the playoffs only to lose to a late game Torrey Smith bomb or Russell Wilson or Aaron Rodgers throwing a last second TD to some third string tight end that you’ve never heard of.

Dallas Cowboys (3-4)

Best loss of the season: 20-17 to the Redskins. We could talk about all the mistakes but the cherry on top is that in the wake of the game they decided to relive the Roy Williams trade.

Worst win of the season: 40-7 over the Jaguars. Everything clicked in that game, and it was fool’s gold. Prescott threw for just 183 yards and Cole Beasley had the second 100 yard receiving game of his career.

Goal for the rest of the season: Go 8-8 and have Jason Garrett keep his job, then run back the same team next season and expect different results.

New York Giants (1-6)

Best loss of the season: Hiring Pat Shurmur.

Worst win of the season: Drafting Saquon Barkley over a quarterback. Barkley’s been fantastic and it hasn’t mattered one bit. They have the worst record in the league because Eli Manning is done and needs to be replaced. Of course they’ll be in a position to draft one high again, but with John Mara saying that Eli has years left, they’ll probably wind up taking an offensive lineman to once again reconfigure their line. Maybe it’s for the better, because Pat Shurmur’s track record of QB development is Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and Brandon Weeden.

Goal for the rest of the season: Keep playing Eli and lock up the #1 pick.