Minnesota can’t get over getting blown out by the Eagles

The Eagles have defeated 13 different teams this season: the Redskins, Giants, Chargers, Cardinals, Panthers, 49ers, Broncos, Cowboys, Bears, Rams, Raiders, Falcons and Vikings. After each game everyone associated with the losing side has taken their lumps, especially as the season progressed and the Eagles looked more and more like one of the best teams in the league and the Eagles handed out blowouts in half their wins.

But not Minnesota. No team’s fans and media have reacted as poorly as the Vikings. They’ve been worse than their team was. The piece de reistance might be this column by the Star Tribune’s Jim Souhan. We don’t even get to the body of the work before the grapes get sour.

At Minnesota’s Super Bowl party, who’s the guest of ‘honor’?

‘Honor’. Hmm... well, it won’t be birds, since the Vikings stadium kills them in droves. Is it Garrison Keillor?

Minnesota this week will host one team that the nation loves to hate and one fan base that deserves to be hated.

I don’t know what schedule you’re looking at but the Lakers don’t visit the Timberwolves until the 15th.

“Deserves to be hated”? No Jim, Eagles fans are already hated. Despised. We wear it as a badge of honor, because when dimwits like you go with unimaginative insults while overlooking 49ers fans who have assaulted Vikings fans along with stabbing or shooting others, or that Texans fan who destroyed a Vikings fan’s lawn ornament and then continued to assault the Vikings fan with a knife.

Let’s welcome the nation to Minneapolis, where we will spend the next week exploring answers to the question: What if the NFL presented the Super Bowl From Hell, and it froze over?

Bad weather games can be really entertaining, though a Super Bowl From Hell would presumably feature the Browns, so he’s got a point. A Super Bowl featuring the top seeds from each conference, which is the case with the Patriots and Eagles, is a really good matchup. Enjoy watching reruns of Shark Tank instead of the game because you can’t handle it.

Take entitled Patriots fans, violent Eagles fans, add black ice, and you get a smoothie that tastes nastier than kale.

Jim, you’re not going to have to worry about black ice, because you’ve got enough salt here to cover the twin cities.

This could not have worked out any worse for Minnesota. We will host one team that the nation loves to hate and one fan base that deserves to be hated as the Vikings become the first NFL team ever to welcome to its stadium for the Super Bowl the team that beat it to advance to it. It’s like the Packers played a practical joke on the entire state.

Oh it could be worse. They could have gotten blown out by the Packers.

What did Minnesotans do to deserve this? Other than support a team that gave up 38 unanswered points to a backup quarterback in the NFC Championship Game?

They did put their hope in backup quarterback Case Keenum, but if you’re looking for a karmic reason, it’s because Vikings fans gave child abuser Adrian Peterson a standing ovation when he returned from a year of suspension. Or that the stadium wouldn’t let homeless people sleep there during life-threatening weather. Or hiring a snake oil “Gen Z advisor”. Or that their special teams coordinator is a raging homophobe. There’s a lot of material to work with.

If you are one of the lucky locals with a ticket to the big game, you may feel obligated to root for one of these teams. This will be like choosing between Vader and Voldemort.

“I have only seen two movies.”

The Eagles are a well-run, well-coached team filled with spare and reclaimed parts. If only their fans hadn’t behaved like felons last weekend, they’d become Minnesota’s home team for the next week.

They should have beat children, then Vikings fans would love them.

But what we learned last weekend is that the Eagles have the worst fans in sports. Grandma-cursing, throwing-full-beers-at-heads, groping, punching, gesturing, mob-mentality, greased-pole-climbing losers.

Oh my god they made gestures. The horror.

There are those relying on clichés to defend the behavior of Eagles fans at the NFC Championship game. One bad apple? This fan base is a rotting orchard. Eagles fans staged a campaign to intimidate or harm anyone wearing purple last Sunday, and the Eagles and the NFL should be held responsible.

And there are those relying on clichés to attack Eagles fans.