Carson Wentz took to Twitter on Sunday night to proclaim his favorite cheesesteak. As you can imagine, it didn’t go well, and not just because proclaiming your favorite cheesesteak is a contentious activity to begin with. No, Wentz created his own set of problems.
My favorite cheesesteak place?— Carson Wentz (@cj_wentz) May 29, 2017
Venison Philly Cheesesteak anybody? pic.twitter.com/onNySILdL7
A few things.
“Philly” is redundant with cheesesteak
Cheesesteak is uniquely Philly. It’s not like Cincinnati chili or Chicago pizza where it’s a variant of a larger genre. No one is confusing it for a Detroit staple. That’s a rookie mistake, but Wentz is no longer a rookie. There were others.
Venison is not steak
I’m not saying that eating venison is bad or anything. But it’s very clearly not steak. When you get a chicken cheesesteak, which can be quite delicioius, you’re not getting a cheesesteak, you’re getting a chicken cheesesteak. This is no different.
It appears he’s using cheese whiz
Provolone is the only acceptable cheese on a cheesesteak. Cheese whiz is for tourists. It’s not even actually cheese. Yes, I realize these are fighting words, and I am prepared. Perhaps he’s using orange American cheese, which is just as bad.
Is that a hot dog bun?
We can squabble over the meat, we can squabble over the cheese. But we must agree that a key ingredient in any cheesesteak—any sandwich actually—is quality bread. That looks like a hot dog bun. And not even a decent freshly baked one, but the 99 cent store brand type. I hope it isn’t, because a hot dog bun would be an egregious and indefensible violation.
Twitter did not react well, as Twitter is wont to do.
Wentz has become more Philly Twitter than ever by bombing the timeline with an egregious food take— Ⓛⓞⓖ Ⓞⓕⓕ (@log__off) May 29, 2017
@cj_wentz I am vomiting uncontrollably in the restroom at costco after seeing this— swaggy mitch (@SwaggyMitch) May 29, 2017
Me: Defend the tweet, venison is delicious and that sounds amazing— John Barchard (@JohnBarchard) May 29, 2017
Also me: He's spitting in the face of Woodrow's and JRP... destroy him https://t.co/wikb4daS3r
@cj_wentz Dam man you can't put Bambi on a cheese steak.... What the hell man???— Mike Cooney (@mcoon7) May 29, 2017
Maybe that thing tastes good, but a cheesesteak it ain’t. Doug Pederson has some work to do.