Fantasy football start/sit advice guide: Best and worst picks for NFL Week 17

Disclaimer: Starts and Sits are relative to where a player is ranked on the aggregate. In other words, a “Start” is someone I like more than most, and a “Sit” is the opposite. So if I say to start Sean Mannion (who?) and sit Philip Rivers, that doesn't mean I'd start Mannion over Rivers, it just means I think Mannion will exceed his expectations while Rivers will underperform his. Cool? Cool. -Seltz

Post Disclaimer Disclaimer: Yoooooooo! I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of Week 17 fantasy action. It's weird, unpredictable, and stupid. Having said that, there are some leagues that still play in Week 17 and many DFSers (like those on Draft.com) out there grinding as well. So I figured, wtf I may as well show up and grind with you too. But, and it's a big BUT, I'm doing it in a style befitting the “Fantasy-Lite” feel this week always has – only one sentence per player. One sentence each. That's it. Period. Anyone who has ever read this column is saying to themselves, “Yeah right, no effing way this A-Hole can tone down his overly verbose ramblings to one sentence per player. It. Cannot. Be. Done.” Well guess what haters, it can. And it will. I guarantee it. So with that in mind, one last sentence before we get to it: If a player is potentially, possibly, could be, who the eff knows, or maybe sitting/resting for the playoffs – don't mess around, you sit them as well. I lied, which is ok cause it hasn't officially started yet, one more sentence: I'm not going to talk about any players who are definitely or likely or potentially or maybe sitting out – the last sentence should cover my entire thoughts on the subject, alright now “we get to it .”

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QUARTERBACK

START

Ben Roethlisberger (vs. CLE) – As the Consensus ranked #7 QB, Home Ben is criminally underrated in a game the Steelers have to win against the 0-15 (soon to be 0-16) Browns.

Kirk Cousins (@ NYG) – The Giants have allowed the most fantasy points to QB's and Kurt Coupons has one last game to how he deserves that caysh. #CouponsCaysh.

Jimmy Garoppolo (@ LAR) – Jimmy G(esus) is 4-0 as the starter, he's facing a Rams team that's resting its starters, and he's still incredibly handsome.

Sean Mannion (vs. SF) – Speaking of the Rams resting starters, Mannion is a decent DFS home run play against a Niners defense that has allowed the second-most fantasy points to QB's. #WhoIsSeanMannion

SIT

Philip Rivers (vs. OAK) – He's the consensus #5 QB despite coming of back-to-back disappointing performances, and facing a Raiders defense that has allowed fifth-fewest points to QB's over last month – aka Phillip's over Philip's.

Dak Prescott (@ PHI) – Even our backups can stop Dak.

Marcus Mariota (vs. JAX) – Even Jacksonville's backups can stop Mariota.

Derek Carr (@ LAC) – The Chargers' starters, who've allowed the fourth-fewest points to QB's, can most certainly stop Carr.

RUNNING BACK

START

Kenyan Drake (vs. BUF) – Buffalo has allowed the most points to RB's – by a lot – and Drake is a legit, legit, fantasy stud. #FirstRoundPickIn2018

Dion Lewis (vs. NYJ) – I told you to start Lewis last week (nailed it) and am re-racking it again this week for all the same reasons.

Alex Collins (vs. CIN) – The Bengals have allowed the third-most points to RB's and also Collins is good.

Jamaal Williams (@DET) – Not to repeat myself, but the Lions have allowed the second-most points to RB's and also Williams is good.

Charcandrick West (@ DEN) – With Kareem Hunt sitting, West makes for a cheap home run play based on volume alone.

SIT

Jordan Howard (@ MIN) – Howard is facing the Minnesota Vikings' defense.

Melvin Gordon (vs. OAK) – I don't think Gordon is very good, but more importantly, he's banged up and facing an Oakland defense that hasn't folded like many predicted they would.Latavius Murray (vs. CHI) – Murray has been average-to-bad three of the last four weeks and is facing a Bears defense that has yielded the fourth-fewest points to RB's over the last month.

Giovanni Bernard (@ BAL) – Joe Mixon will be back in action and they face a good Ravens defense in a must-win game.

Mike Davis (vs. ARI) – Davis has been mediocre at best, but mostly awful and faces a strong Cardinals run defense.

WIDE RECEIVER

START

Adam Thielen (vs. CHI) – Thielen is the consensus #8 WR this week, which means the war is back on!

Larry Fitzgerald (@ SEA) – Here's what Fitz has averaged in the three games Drew Stanton started this season: 13 targets, 8 catches, 102 yards.

JuJu Smith-Schuster/Martavis Bryant (vs. CLE) – No Antonio means more Home Ben love for JuJu and Home Martavis (also a thing).

Jamison Crowder (@ NYG) – The Giants are a dumpster fire, especially in the secondary lol, and Crowder is easily Washington's best (and most targeted) receiver.

Chris Godwin (vs. NO) – Godwin had three catches for 98 yards last week and should see even more opportunity this week with DeSean Jackson done for the season (and missing a car, apparently).

SIT

T.Y. Hilton (vs. HOU) – Damn you T.Y., damn you all the way to hell – aka I still hate you and would never start you no matter who you're facing.

Dez Bryant (@ PHI) – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *pauses for breath* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha #DezSaysHellNo

Michael Crabtree/Amari Cooper (vs. LAC) – The Chargers' pass defense is the tits, meaning the C Boys (trademark pending) are bound to disappoint.

Robby Anderson (@ NE) – Shout out to Temple product Robby A for a great season, but I think the Pats rollllllll on Sunday.

Kelvin Benjamin (@ MIA) – It was absolutely a touchdown, but at worst it was irreversible based on lack of visual evidence – so sit Benjamin this week against a Dolphins defense that has allowed the second-fewest points to WR's over the last month.

TIGHT END

START

Vernon Davis (@ NYG) – Davis offers your last chance to take advantage of the Giants' legendary inability to defend tight ends.

Trey Burton (vs. DAL) – I think Burton gets a lot of burn, he should know Nate Studfeld (yes, STUDfeld) from scout team, and Dallas sucks. #TreyBurnton

SIT

Jimmy Graham (vs. ARI) – Arizona is good at defending tight ends, and more importantly, Graham has two yards receiving over his last three games – TWO MOTHER EFFING YARDS OVER HIS LAST THREE GAMES!!!

Cameron Brate (vs. NO) – No team has allowed fewer fantasy points to tight ends over the last month than the Saints aka Harvard is stupid.

DEFENSE

START

Denver Broncos (vs. KC) – Patrick Mahomes.

SIT

None. I'm all sat out. #ThanksForReading

KICKER

START

Some guy who's playing in a dome or who's on a team with a good offense.

SIT

Any guy who doesn't qualify the above set standard for “Start.”

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