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Happy Holidays from the NFC East, where nearly everyone is in the spirit of giving, or turning the ball over, or getting carved up like a turkey, or
Philadelphia Eagles (12-2)
Last Week: Jolly ol’ St. Nick Foles threw four touchdowns, leading the Eagles to a 34-29 win over the Giants.
This Week: Host the Raiders on Christmas. Combined with the Sixers playing on Christmas, everything is set up beautifully for Christmas to be ruined.
The Giants were DOA this season and are just going through the motions with an interim coach. So how did the Eagles defense rebound from a nail biting performance against the Rams? They didn’t. They were even worse. The Giants entered the game averaging 296 yards on offense, and 15 points a game, they put up 504 yards and 29 points.
Eli Manning threw for 434 yards, the 4th highest total in his career and for 3 touchdowns, the 15th most in his career. Roger Lewis’s 74 receiving yards were 20% of his season total, Tavarres King’s 70 were 30% of his, and Sterling Shepard doubled his touchdown total.
Shitter’s full.
Dallas Cowboys (8-6)
Last Week: Beat the Raiders 20-17, ending the Ezekiel Elliott suspension by winning three games in a row against bad teams after losing three games in a row to good teams.
This Week: Host the Seahawks, who are good.
Dak Prescott and the Cowboys were caught up in the Christmas spirit. The Raiders entered Sunday Night dead last with 2 interceptions, a laughably low total that has already gotten people fired in Oakland. The Cowboys gifted them 2 more. The Raiders had the worst passer rating against, but Prescott’s 59.5 rating dropped them from the top spot. Prescott ends the Ezekiel Elliott suspension with a passer rating of 76.6, which over the course of this season would be 31st in the league among qualified starters. Like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Elliott’s suspension showed what happens if Tiny Tim doesn’t get help.
Washington Redskins (6-8)
Last Week: Beat the Cardinals 20-15, giving them 3 wins against the NFC West, which is three times as many wins as the Redskins have against the NFC East.
This Week: Host the red hot Broncos, who are coming off wins against the Jets and Colts, who are also crappy.
lol pic.twitter.com/XdcTR2V2dM
— Danny (@recordsANDradio) December 19, 2017
Bah humbug.
New York Giants (2-12)
Last Week: Freed from Ben McAdoo and with a Jimmy Stewart-like new lease on life, the Giants finally scored more than 28 points. Mr. Potter got away with stealing over $100,000 (present day value), and the Giants still lost.
This Week: Travel to Arizona to face Blaine Gabbert, who has never lost to the Giants. Because he’s never played them.
Nobody gets into the holiday spirit like Eli Manning. After scoring touchdowns on three straight possessions, and going at least 75 yards on all of them, Manning went three and out, then threw an interception because of course he did, and then went three and out again, with that punt being blocked, and lost the game. He spread the joy around to teammates, with four pass catchers having career best or near career best games, and like Scrooge, in the end he helped everyone else out by losing to the Eagles and getting them one win away from the #1 seed in the NFC.
Tweet of the Week (In Two Parts)
Ezekiel Elliott arriving at the Cowboys’ practice facility earlier today pic.twitter.com/2WOnfimO2i
— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) December 18, 2017
Why Zeke Elliot look like he's been on the Forest Moon of Endor for the whole season? https://t.co/amNUx0Q0Nl
— Roc (@hardROClife) December 18, 2017