Fantasy football start/sit advice guide: Best and worst picks for NFL Week 13

Disclaimer: Starts and Sits are relative to where a player is ranked on the aggregate. In other words, a “Start” is someone I like more than most, and a “Sit” is the opposite. So if I say to start Brett Hundley and sit Matthew Stafford, that doesn't mean I'd start Hundley over Stafford, it just means I think Hundley will exceed his expectations while Stafford will underperform his. Cool? Cool. Let's get it. -Seltz

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Quick Post Disclaimer Note: Yooooooooooo! Please, please, PLEASE read what I wrote about Delanie Walker last week. You know what, you don't even have to click the link, here it is:

“Delanie Walker (@ IND) – Delanie has been really good, he just hasn't scored a touchdown. Well guess what, I'm calling my shot: Delanie Walker will score his first touchdown this week! Book it.”

I bring this up not to gloat, but absolutely to GLOAT! I can't believe I called it. Like, holy shit. I effing called it. This may be the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. And by “may be” I mean “definitely is.” It's the greatest thing I've done in my life. Sad! Alright, let's get to it. (By the way, check out the newest episode of This Week In Fantasy right here.)

QUARTERBACK

START

Philip Rivers (vs. CLE) – Hello friends. That was my Jim Nantz impression. Yes, I know how great it is – but I still appreciate you acknowledging it. You should have. Acknowledged it's greatness, I mean. But still, thanks, I guess. I feel like we're starting off on the wrong foot, and considering my well-documented penchant for long-windedness, this could to get ugly. Speaking of ugly, Rivers is facing the Cleveland Browns! See what I did there? That's why they pay me the big bucks. And by big bucks, I mean no bucks. WTF BLG? Who else can write a sentence made up only of acronyms?!? I just did that, Brandon. Funny thing is, I'm still making more (again, nothing) than what Hue Jackson deserves. That guy redefines the term asshat. I guarantee I could do a better job than him. Hire me, Browns. I'll work for way less. Plus, I'm as outside-the-box a hire as the league will ever have seen. You guys love that shit. Sashi, slide in my DM's buddy – we can make some magic happen. Sadly, until I take over, Hue will continue to asshat away and Rivers will be the beneficiary of it. Rivers has quietly been terrific, with 16 touchdowns and 3 interceptions in his last eight games. The Browns have been much better defending the run than the pass, which sets up nicely for One L Philip to have another nice day. That's right, it sets up nicely for a nice day. #69

Brett Hundley (vs. TB) – Gross. Just...gross. I honestly thought the world would implode before I'd ever recommend Brett Hundley. Brett freaking Hundley. But alas, the world has not imploded, I don't think, and here I am saying to start Hundley. And let me tell you, I feel great about it. False. I don't feel great about it. But I feel...good about it. I think. It just feels so icky, but here's my rationale – Tampa Bay sucks. They suck so hard. Furthermore, Hundley actually looked like an NFL player last week – #8 QB in fantasy – but is only the consensus ranked #20 quarterback heading into a matchup with, again, a sucky Buccaneers defense. So, while it feels weird to say, start Brett Hundley.

Bonus Loooooooong shot Start:

Jimmy Garoppolo (@ CHI) – He's so handsome. I mean, right? If there were a fantasy league based on handsomeness, he'd be a top pick. What does this have to do with actual fantasy football? Nothing. Literally nothing at all. This is awkward. Let's forget it ever happened. Jimmy G is not only handsome, he's also good at football. At least, I think he is – and I think he's going to have a good career. Having said that, he doesn't have many weapons to work with now. As a result, he's a long shot play this week based purely on his talent and his matchup against a bad Bears defense.

SIT

Matthew Stafford (@ BAL) – Alright, let's tighten this ish up. Less of me, more of not me. In that vein, Stafford is so lame (RHYME ALERT). He's the lamest. That's it. That's the whole reason he's a sit. I kid, I kid. Stafford is a sit because the Jaguars are the only team that's allowed less fantasy points to quarterbacks than the Ravens. But also the lame thing.

Marcus Mariota (vs. HOU) – Speaking of lame, remember when we wanted the Eagles to get Mariota? That was lame (Carson Wentz – so not lame). Mariota's been...lame (I swear, I'm done) from a fantasy perspective this season (#22 QB), and has thrown six interceptions and only two touchdowns over the last two weeks. Yet for some unexplainable reason, he's the consensus #10 QB heading into the weekend. That's effing stupid and I will no longer dignify it with discussion.

Bonus Lololololololololololol Sit:

Geno Smith (@ OAK) – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *pauses for breath* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *falls off couch from laughing so hard* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Bonus Real Life Literal Sit:

Eli Manning (@ OAK) – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *drops dead from excessive fits of laughter*

RUNNING BACK

START

Christian McCaffery (@ NO) – Annnnnnd I'm back from the dead! It was weird, but kinda cool too. I'm not allowed to laugh for a little while – too dangerous for my health. Luckily, McCaffery won't be making your opponents laugh, he'll be making them cry. Nailed it. McCaffery is the most targeted running back in the league, by a lot, and has become the focal point of Carolina's offense. New Orleans has struggled covering running backs in the passing game and that is literally what it says on McCaffery's business card, “Running back in the passing game.” Weird, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

Alex Collins (vs. DET) – I'm doing too much yammering. I need to get my brevity on. Let's start now. Detroit's been atrocious against the run – Collins has been low-key good this season (4.9 YPC) and has scored touchdowns in back to back weeks.

Bonus Double Start:

Rex Burkhead/Dion Lewis (@ BUF) – Double start alert! Double Patriots running backs, no less. In fact, this may be the first time in the history of ever that someone has said to start two Patriots running backs. That's some wild stuff. But both Lewis and Burkhead have been getting work and producing. More importantly, since trading Marcell Dareus, the Bills have had the worst run defense in the league. Easily. It's an affront to football, to be honest. In a game where the Pats should be up (a lot), both Lewis and Burkhead should be viable fantasy options this weekend.

SIT

Jamaal Williams (vs. TB) – This one's simple. Williams is the consensus #11 – NUMBER ELEVEN!!! – running back heading into the weekend. I think he's fine based on volume and a decent matchup, but don't overrate him like “the consensus” seems to do.

Lamar Miller (@ TEN) – Tennessee has actually been pretty good against the run (top six in both yards per game allowed and fantasy points allowed to RB's). Miller hasn't rushed for more than 61 yards in the four games since Savage replaced Watson. That's enough for me.

Bonus Double Sit:

Tevin Coleman/Devonta Freeman (vs. MIN) – I have no idea what to do with these two. I would guess Coleman gets more work, but who knows. What I do know is that the Vikings have allowed the least fantasy points to running backs. So, yeah.

WIDE RECEIVER

START

Adam Thielen (@ ATL) – I've said it before, I'll say it again – Adam Thielen is a top five wide receiver every week until the end of the season. He's the surest bet in the league not named Antonio Brown. For some reason he's the consensus #8 WR this week. Again, top five every week no matter the matchup. Hopefully we won't have to deal with this issue again next week, consensus.

Davante Adams (vs. TB) – Hundley loves his some Davante Adams. You could even say, he only has eyes for Adams. Boom. Nailed it again. Seriously though, Adams is averaging nine targets per game over his last four outings and faces a Bucs defense that has allowed the most points to wide receivers.

Bonus Rams Start:

Cooper Kupp (@ ARI) – No Robert Woods. Last week, with no Robert Woods, Kupp had his best game of the season with 8 catches for 116 yards. Arizona has allowed the eighth-most points to wide receivers and Patrick Peterson will be shadowing someone who is not Cooper Kupp.

SIT

Doug Baldwin (vs. PHI) – Look, if you own Baldwin in seasonal leagues you probably have to play him. And I don't think he'll be terrible, I just think he's too highly ranked (#11 WR). Patrick Robinson has been a stud in the slot this season and the Eagles' defense is firing on all cylinders. Speaking of firing on all cylinders, I'm kind of killing it with the brevity thing. Crap, I hope I didn't just jinx myself. Let's move on...quickly.

T.Y. Hilton (@ JAX) – T.Y. Hilton is in the running for biggest fantasy disappointment of the season. To put it more bluntly, I hate him. The Jags have the best pass defense in the league and have allowed the least fantasy points to wide receivers. I would consider sitting a good wide receiver against them, so obviously I'm going to sit T.Y. Hilton. #Burn

Bonus Rams Sit:

Sammy Watkins (@ ARI) – Aka the guy who is getting shadowed by Patrick Peterson.

TIGHT END

START

Evan Engram (@ OAK) – Ok, so hear me out. Geno Smith sucks. Obviously. But Evan Engram doesn't. And flipping it back the other way, the Raiders suck at defending tight ends. Anecdotally, I feel like backup QB's tend to lean on their tight ends (safety valve and all that), but I have no evidence to support that. I do, however, know that over a third of Geno's 28 career touchdowns passes have gone to tight ends, and none of them were close to as talented as Engram.

Jack Doyle (@ JAX) – I feel like Doyle is under-ranked every week. Every. Single. Week. What's that about? Why does everyone hate Doyle? Did he do something awful that I don't know about? Is he total D or something? Regardless, I can only go with what I know, and that is that Doyle will get a bunch of targets against a Jags defense that, despite shutting down wide receivers, hasn't been nearly as effective against tight ends.

SIT

Kyle Rudolph (@ ATL) – Conversely, Atlanta has been surprisingly effective against tight ends. Rudolph is overvalued after scoring a pair of tuddies last week. Don't buy in. Buy out.

Tyler Kroft (vs. PIT) – Pittsburgh has also been stellar against tight ends and Kroft, like Rudolph, is touchdown dependent.

DEFENSE

START

Philadelphia Eagles (@ SEA) – The Eagles are the consensus ranked #9 defense. Excuse my french, but that's bullshit. Seattle has no running game and no offensive line. The Eagles defense is firing on all cylinders. Don't stand for this gross injustice, start the Eagles D.

SIT

Chicago Bears (vs. SF) – Somehow the Bears are ranked ahead of the Eagles! I kid you not. That's outrageous. Not only are the Bears trash, but they're facing handsome Jimmy G! Again, and more importantly, THE BEARS ARE TRASH.

KICKER

START

Some guy who's playing in a dome or who's on a team with a good offense.

SIT

Any guy who doesn't qualify the above set standard for “Start.”

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The newest and best app to play weekly Fantasy Football is DRAFT! Sign up now with the promo code BGNR (CLICK HERE) and play a real money game for FREE! You win 80% more on Draft than regular salary cap sites! Don't like it? No problem, they guarantee your money back up to $100 if you don't.