Disclaimer: Starts and Sits are relative to where a player is ranked on the aggregate. In other words, a “Start” is someone I like more than most, and a “Sit” is the opposite. So if I say to start Robby Anderson (#TempleMade) and sit Brandin Cooks, that doesn't mean I'd start Anderson over Cooks, it just means I think Anderson will exceed his expectations while Cooks will underperform his. Cool? Cool. Let's get it. -Seltz
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QUARTERBACK
START
Tom Brady (@ DEN) – Ok, so I'm going to do something unprecedented. It's wild and outside the box, but I'm just going to go for it. For the first time in the 10 weeks of this column, I'm not going to wait until halfway through to plead, beg, and implore myself to be more succinct. As I often say, brevity is the soul of wit. As a result, I am neither brief nor witty. That changes today! Well, one of the two anyway. Ultimately, this column isn't about me or my charming personality or my AMAZING start/sit calls or my hilarious banter, that's not what this is about. It's about you, dear readers. It's your time, not mine. I realize that now. Thus, I pledge to (try to) be more efficient with my words; to not force you to listen to my inane ramblings about nothing; to not delve deeply into the weird, effed up world that is my head; to...what's that? I'm doing it again? Ah crap, I'm doing it again. WTF is wrong with me? Don't say I didn't warn you. Let's do this for real – don't be scared off by the Denver defense. Carson Wentz carved them up, Tom Brady will too. Plus, Brady and Hoodie with an extra week to prepare is a thing. Yet for some reason Brady isn't a consensus ranked Top 3 QB this week. He should be. #Brevity.
Josh McCown (@ TB) – Ready for the most ridiculous stat of the season? Josh McCown is completing 70.6% of his passes. 70.6%!!! That's freaking insane. Want more insanity? McCown is the #3 fantasy QB over the last 4 weeks. I mean, right? That's some crazy ish. McCown has been low-key killing it. You know who hasn't been killing it? The Bucs pass defense, that's who. In fact, they've been atrocious. So I guess you could say, they've been getting killed instead of killing it. Boom. Who said I wasn't witty? Oh yeah, it was me. I said it. Let's move on before I contradict myself again. Or maybe we won't move on! See what I did there? Yeah, I know, not my best work. On the plus side, this paragraph was twice as short as the last one, so that's...something. #Progress
SIT
Matt Ryan (vs. DAL) – Matt Ryan is the consensus ranked #5 QB heading into the weekend and I have no idea why. Like...none. I got nothing. Sure, he was ok (313 yards, 2 TD's, 1 INT) last week, but he wasn't thaaaaaat good. He ended the week as the #11 scoring fantasy quarterback. That's nothing special, particularly considering all the QB's who were on bye. Oh yeah, did I mention it was also Ryan's BEST FANTASY PERFORMANCE OF THE SEASON?!?! Sorry for yelling, but, I mean...C'MON. Matty Ice has been Matty Tepid Water. This week he faces a Dallas defense that is top 10 in terms of limiting fantasy points to quarterbacks, yet he's the consensus #5 QB heading into the weekend. It's...befuddling. For reference sake, McCown is the consensus #10 QB and I'd definitely start him over Ryan. So, yeah.
Marcus Mariota (vs. CIN) – Still need to tighten it up brevity-wise, so here goes – Mariota stinks and the Bengals have only allowed 192.6 passing YPG and 5 TD's through the air. Mariota is this week's consensus #11 QB and currently has less fantasy points on the season than Eli Manning and Blake Bortles. BLAKE EFFING BORTLES. Man, what is up with me today? All the yelling is so unnecessary. I think the attempts at conciseness are taking a toll on me. I'm feeling constricted and I'm lashing out. So again, my apologies. I shan't let it happen again. And yes, I just successfully used “shan't” in a sentence. And yes, I'm deeming it a successful use of “shan't” and can't be convinced otherwise. It is inarguable. Moving on.
RUNNING BACK
START
Lamar Miller (@ LAR) – Miller falls under the rarely seen “just because Tom Savage is his quarterback doesn't mean he can't be an ok start” category. Don't get me wrong, Tom Savage has...savagely (nailed it) sucked the life out of the factory of fantasy fun that was the Texans offense. Now it's just...sad. Come back soon, DeShaun Watson. Having said all this, Miller still had 91 total yards last week (with Savage) and faces a Rams defense that is allowing the fifth-most YPC this season. Miller isn't a “sexy” start, but he's safe and undervalued. Aka it's Miller Time! Nope. Just...nope.
Orleans Darkwa (@ SF) – Orleans Darkwa has an awesome name. It sounds badass, but more importantly it's perfect for highlights. What do I mean by that? This...this is what I mean:
*Extremely Chris Berman voice* “It's Mardi Gras time up in New York as New Orrleeeans Darrrkwaa runs OVER a man, he rumbles and bumbles, he could go all the way! 21-14 Giants, but HERE COME THE LIONS...”
See what I mean? Obviously this has no bearing on fantasy, but it might, you know? Either way, he's facing a Niners defense that's allowed the most fantasy points to opposing running backs and he's the best RB the Giants have. Also, he's been pretty decent (5.1 YPC) when given the opportunity. The Giants have no other choice but to give him opportunities this week, right? Don't answer that. Nevermind. Ben McAdoo is the great equalizer. Let's go with the name/highlights thing.
SIT
Joe Mixon (@ TEN) – I'm the president and charter member of the “I Hate Joe Mixon Club.” As a player I mean. Obviously as a person too, but that's not what we're doing here. What I mean is, everyone keeps expecting Joe Mixon to be a stud this season and I don't think it's going to happen. And I haven't thought it was going to happen. And I continue to think it's not going to happen. He's been better lately, but still only the #30 scoring fantasy RB over the last four weeks, and faces a Titans defense that is top 10 in limiting fantasy points to opposing running backs.
Ameer Abdullah (vs. CLE) – Ok, I can do this one quickly. Abdullah is bad (52.1 YPG, 3.4 YPC, 1 TD) and the Browns are allowing 2.9 YPC aka the least of any team in the league. Boooooooom.
[BLG Note: Bonus sit - Ezekiel Elliott, because his ass is suspended.]
WIDE RECEIVER
START
Golden Tate and Marvin Jones (vs. CLE) – Dual start alert!!! Oh happy day, the dual start is both rare and exciting. Let's all thank the Browns for making it possible. Cleveland may be doing a good job stopping the run, but they're doing a dogsh...er...poop job against the pass. Similarly, Detroit's running game is trash (see Ameer Abudullah) while their passing attack is the stuff that ultimately becomes trash but isn't yet. So basically, anything. Both Tate and Jones have been producing the last few weeks, I don't expect that to change anytime soon.
Robby Anderson (@ TB) – Robby Anderson went to Temple. Do you really need to hear anything else? Oh, you do? Really? Temple Football doesn't sell it on it's own? Lol. I'm a two-time Temple grad and I can't even get away without laughing at that one. This one's not about being an Owl, it's about Robby is a Jet! Lol again. Sorry, couldn't help myself. For real this time, I already detailed why I like McCown against Tampa's brutal pass defense and Robby is an extension of that. He's scored a touchdown three straight weeks and has become McCown's de facto #1 WR. And again, I cannot emphasize this enough, Tampa's pass defense is so so so so so bad.
SIT
Brandin Cooks (@ DEN) – So I know I this might be a little confusing because Brady is a start, and for that I apologize. Let me explain. Brady can have success without Cooks. Crazy, but it's true. Denver's cornerbacks are still legit – despite getting punked by Carson Wentz and crew – and they're physical which should cause problems for a lil guy like Cooks. I expect Brady to have a lot of success over the middle of the field with Gronk and friends, but Cooks is not a friend this week. I know that's harsh, and it will probably hurt Brandin's feelings, but I have to be honest with my audience. I can't kowtow to you, Brandin, just because you're a famous athlete. That's not the kind of guy I am. I care too much about my integrity. So while we're at it, it's absurd that you're the consensus #8 WR heading into the weekend, Brandin. You should be much lower. Sorry, but someone had to say it. Let's move on before this gets more awkward.
T.Y. Hilton (vs. PIT) – Let's get back to the brevity – don't be fooled by Hilton's monster game last week against a horrible Texans pass defense. Pittsburgh's pass defense is the opposite of horrible. Return Hilton to the spot on your bench he's occupied far too often this season. On a related note, I hate T.Y. Hilton.
Mike Evans (vs. NYJ) – Evans is suspended. Just making sure you know. If you already knew, I'm sorry for wasting your time. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me...someday.
TIGHT END
START
Kyle Rudolph (@ WAS) – Rudolph is averaging 8 targets per game over the last four weeks and seems to be getting more comfortable with (pillow) Case (of beer) Keenum. Washington has allowed the fourth-most fantasy points to tight ends. Ipso facto, start Rudolph.
Hunter Henry (@ JAX) – I don't love this start. To be honest, I don't have a lot of discrepancies with the consensus tight end rankings this week, but what are you gonna do, gotta suck it up and find something compelling. So here goes, after four straight weeks of at least 70 yards or a touchdown, Henry put up a dud in a (seemingly) cake matchup against the Patriots. As a result, he's slightly undervalued this week against a Jags defense that completely shuts down wide receivers, but is much more lenient to tight ends. So why the eff not, start Henry.
SIT
Austin Seferian-Jenkins (@ TB) – Again, I don't feel super passionate about any tight end call this week, and this one's included. ASJ has had back-to-back terrible weeks and faces a Tampa defense that does literally everything terribly except for covering tight ends. But it's also ASJ's revenge game against his former team, so who knows. Don't listen to me. Start ASJ. Or don't. I don't know. #Analysis
Austin Hooper (vs. DAL) – Alright, let's finish out strong and brevity the crap out of these last few. Hooper stinks. Dallas defends tight ends well. See Matt Ryan entry above.
DEFENSE
START
Chicago Bears (vs. GB) – Brett Hundley is the anti-Aaron Rodgers. He's setting the quarterback position back years every time he steps on the field. Also, the Bears defense is aight.
SIT
Denver Broncos (vs. NE) – This isn't your father's Broncos defense. And by your father, I mean you from three years ago. And two years ago. And last year kinda. Point is, the Broncos D ain't all that. Tom Brady is all that. Just like Rachel Leigh Cook. *Author's note: I love all of you who get the Rachel Leigh Cook reference. Thank you for being awesome. For those who don't, you're still awesome too, just slightly less awesome than the people who did get it.*
KICKER
START
Some guy who's playing in a dome or who's on a team with a good offense.
SIT
Any guy who doesn't qualify the above set standard for “Start.”
***For more fantasy football advice, check out BGN Radio’s This Week In Fantasy podcast!***
The newest and best app to play weekly Fantasy Football is DRAFT! Sign up now with the promo code BGNR and play a real money game for FREE! You win 80% more on Draft than regular salary cap sites! Don't like it? No problem, they guarantee your money back up to $100 if you don't.