Carson Wentz is elite, Dak Prescott is eliter

Week Two of the NFL season is in the books, and with it we can start to make some definitive statements.

New York Giants (2-0)

Last week: Beat the Saints 16-13.

This week: Host the Redskins.

The Giants might be 2-0, but it’s about as empty a 2-0 as you can get. They gained 417 yards against an awful Saints defense that gave up 486 to the Raiders in the season opener, and scored just nine (9) points. Their supposedly much improved defense has zero (0) turnovers through two games and has the 3rd worst sack rate. It feels like last year, how through four games the Giants defense was stout on the ground, averaging 69.8 yards per game against, the rest of the season they averaged 138.6 and finished with the 6th worst run defense. It’s just a matter of time before this house of cards falls apart.

Philadelphia Eagles (2-0)

Last week: Beat the Bears 29-14.

This week: Host the Steelers.

Same bleep different day as the Eagles beat up another bad team and Carson Wentz demonstrated that he is fact an elite QB. Two weeks ago, Wentz debuted against the Browns and had a strong game: 22 for 37, 278 yards, 2 TD and 0 INT. People said “yeah but it’s the Browns” but on Sunday, certified Elite Quarterback™ Joe Flacco faced the Browns and established Wentz’s eliteness. Flacco performed worse than Wentz, going 25 for 45, 302 yards, 2 TD and 2 INT.

It’s science: Carson Wentz is Elite™.

Dallas Cowboys (1-1)

Last week: Beat the Redskins 27-23.

This week: Host the Bears on Sunday Night Football.

Carson Wentz may be Elite™, but Dak Prescott is even better. He’s an NFL record holder. Prescott set the record for most pass attempts by a QB to start his career without throwing an interception, a record as hallowed and celebrated as Sam Bradford’s NFL record for completions by a rookie or RGIII breaking Charlie Batch’s rookie record for lowest interception percentage.

It’s not all good news for the Cowboys though. Turns out that hating the Cowboys saves lives.

Washington Redskins (0-2)

Last week: Lost to the Cowboys 27-23.

This week: Visit the Giants.

It’s all over but the singing in DC. The Redskins are 0-2, which means that historically they only have a 12% chance of making the playoffs. Ah, but the NFC East is really bad and they probably have a good chance of recovering you say. No. That 12% includes teams who played in divisions just as bad, and let’s face it, the Redskins are done.

Kip Cousins’ second half of 2015 is now clearly a mirage, through two games he has 1 TD and 3 INTs and could get worse as his 3.4 INT% is lower than his pre-2015 second half rate of 3.9%. It’s so bad that players are throwing temper tantrums at him while the game is going on.

The Redskins are paying $20 million for this.

The good news for Redskins fans is that the Redskins coaching staff has finally realized that they should use Josh Norman on both the left and right side of the field to cover WRs. Maybe next week they will discover that the San Antonio Spurs do not play football.