Reminder: Dave put together a very cohesive, all-bases-covered watching guide for Week 2 right here. I'm just here to give y'all a place to talk about these dang games, but I also like making fun of NFL teams so here we go, this is what this Eagles-less Sunday looks like:
Saints at Giants 1:00 PM FOX -- Oh boy, look, no defense! Maybe Eli Manning will throw another pass right a defender.
Chiefs at Texans 1:00 PM CBS -- Alex Smith is a good quarterback, goddamnit. Why will no one believe me?
Bengals at Steelers 1:00 PM CBS -- Eagles play the Steelers next week. These games are always violent. A good viewing option.
Cowboys at Washington 1:00 FOX -- NFC EAST FIGHT. Second week in a row. What a world. Dak PresGOD vs. Kirk GOATsins. What a matchup.
Dolphins at Patriots 1:00 CBS -- The Patriots don't have Tom Brady but apparently Jimmy Giraffe-polo is good at football?
Titans at Lions 1:00 CBS -- Marcus Mariota and DeMarco Murray lost in week one. Bittersweet.
Ravens at Browns 1:00 CBS -- Browns are bad, the Eagles showed everyone that last week. Cody Kessler is dressing Sunday LOL.
49ers at Panthers 1:00 FOX -- Chip Kelly flies across the country on a short week to face the defending NFC champions. Woof.
Buccaneers at Cardinals 4:05 FOX -- Jameis Winston is very good at football. Imagine if he had Larry Fitzgerald. Yowza.
Seahawks at Rams 4:05 FOX -- The Rams are going to score negative points.
Colts at Broncos 4:25 CBS -- Andrew Luck is a very good player on a very bad team. Trevor Siemian is still unknown. Good game!
Jaguars at Chargers 4:25 -- Rooting for former future Eagles head coach Gus Bradley all season long. The Jags will win.
Falcons at Raiders 4:25 CBS -- THE RAIDERS ARE GOOD. GO FOR TWO AGAIN, JACK.
Packers at Vikings 8:30 NBC -- Is Sammy Sleeves starting tonight? Oh god I hope he is. The Packers will win by 40.