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Dak Prescott named Cowboys starter, is the next Tom Brady

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It finally happened.

NFL: Preseason-Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

For all intents and purposes, the preseason is over, unless you’re a Syracuse fan or Russell Lande and you like watching Ryan Nassib play. There’s still another preseason game to go, but let’s face it, it’s useless. Teams have their rosters pretty much set. Jobs have already been won and lost. But the fun has just begun.

Philadelphia Eagles (3-0)

Last week: who cares, it was a preseason game

This week: Host the annual Rich Kotite Bowl, Thursday at 7pm

It is a terrible time to be a member of the Eagles’ “aerial attack” right now. Carson Wentz will miss the final preseason game, denying fans a chance to see him in action against players who will get cut after the game. Sam Bradford had another Preseason Week 3 To Tell Your Grand Kids About, which means he will start the season playing incredibly poorly. And Reuben Randle and Chris Givens were released, which has to a be a career ender. If you can’t make this roster as a wide receiver, you might want to check if your passport is valid and try the CFL. At least they lasted longer than Josh Innes.

Washington Redskins (2-1)

Last week: who cares, it was a preseason game

This week: at Buccaneers, moved to Wednesday to get it the hell out of the way, and due to weather, 7:30pm on NFL Network.

Let’s take a moment to review Bryan Stork’s Redskins career. It will only take a moment.

On Tuesday, August 23rd, Stork was kicked out of Patriots practice for fighting and had some choice words that were the final straw and the Patriots planned to release him.

On Wednesday, August 24th, the Patriots traded Stork to the Redskins for a conditional 7th round pick.

Stork was so happy to be joining the Redskins that it was reported he was strongly considering retirement. If he retired he would have had to pay the Redskins $238,500 for recouping his signing bonus. That he never signed with them. Sam Hinkie would approve.

On Saturday, August 27th, Stork realized that giving Dan Snyder money for nothing (no word on if there were chicks for free or if any refrigerators were moved) was a crime against humanity and told the Redskins he would report to them.

On Monday, August 29th, Bryan Stork failed his physical with the Redskins for reasons unknown, suspiciously voiding the trade.

Bryan Stork, your new favorite Redskin.

New York Giants (1-2)

Last week: who cares, it was a preseason game

This week: vs Patriots, Thursday at 7pm on NFL Network

Nothing interesting happened because the Giants are boring. Instead read about how scientists may have discovered a signal from another planet inhabited by a vastly technologically superior species. Yes, just like the movie Contact.

An international team of scientists from the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) is investigating mysterious signal spikes emitting from a 6.3-billion-year-old star in the constellation Hercules—95 light years away from Earth. The implications are extraordinary and point to the possibility of a civilization far more advanced than our own.

Chances are they have never done anything like playing football but any of them could earn the Giants starting RB job.

Dallas Cowboys* (1-2)

*For some reason when I started this I wrote “Jacksonville Jaguars” which is being overly optimistic for the outlook of the Cowboys this season. Weird.

Last week: who cares, it was a preseason game

This week: vs Texans, Thursday at 8pm

For weeks we have been telling you to keep an eye on Cowboys rookie QB Dak Prescott as he has delivered strong performance after strong performance in the preseason. So impressive was his play that it stirred up whispers of a QB controversy and comparisons to top picks in the draft. What was a laughable suggestion to many just a few days ago is now reality: Dak Prescott is the Cowboys starting QB. It is a heavy burden.

I would have gone with a Romo/Bledsoe comparison, or Carter/Aikman, but sorry to say I’m not the heir to the Cowboys throne. Good to see the Cowboys, known for their backup QBs always playing at a high level, lowering expectations for their backup rookie.