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NFL Week 16’s Saturday Games: An Open Thread

Hope you have a great day and don’t watch any of these games.

NFL: Houston Texans at Denver Broncos Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

It is Saturday, December 24. Regardless of your religious affiliation, you have today off, and as the year winds down most people have the ability to spend time with friends and family, which is the best thing you can do with your time, bar none.

There are 12 football games today. As an Eagles fan, you have literally no reason to watch any of them.

I will explain why you should avoid each one, and instead spend time with loved ones, and spend it away from a television screen.

Dolphins at Bills, 1:00: Two middling AFC East teams competing in the penultimate week of the season. Neither team matters. Do not watch this game.

Jets at Patriots, 1:00: The Jets might lose by 17 zillion points. There is no reason to watch this game. We all know how it ends.

Titans at Jaguars, 1:00: You’re kidding, right? One of these teams is so bad, they fired their head coach and then let him fly back home with them. Please don’t watch this.

Vikings at Packers, 1:00: This could be the most listless version of a truly great rivalry in recent memory. Don’t watch a watered-down version of something good.

Chargers at Browns, 1:00: The Browns are truly, truly miserable viewing. Don’t subject yourself to such torture.

Washington at Bears, 1:00: No one should have to watch Kurk Coupons play football against Matt Barkley. This is just terrible.

Falcons at Panthers, 1:00: Two pretenders in a conference full of contenders. Don’t waste your time.

Colts at Raiders, 4:05: Any other week? I’d probably watch it. But it’s Saturday. Please don’t watch this.

Buccaneers at Saints, 4:25: Neither team matters in the long run. And Drew Brees wasn’t even voted to the Pro Bowl (?!?). This is a protest non-watch.

Cardinals at Seahawks, 4:25: A tremendously one-sided affair. The Seahawks are unstoppable at home. You know what happens. Don’t watch.

49ers at Rams, 4:25: I mean...

Bengals at Texans, 8:25: The Texans are starting TOM SAVAGE. Do not watch bad football on purpose.

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Note: This is an open thread. If you truly must, discuss Saturday’s games in the comment section below.