Tonight, the Seahawks and the Rams will play football. You should not watch.
This game is going to be garbage. I know this. I don’t have sources. I don’t have insider information. I just know this. It’s going to be terrible.
I’m not just blowing smoke here, either. On Sunday morning, I wrote this in BGN’s open thread:
Falcons at Rams, 4:25 FOX — The Falcons are going to slaughter the Rams.
The Falcons proceeded to win, 42-14.
So, please: take my word when I say you should not waste your time watching what will amount to nothing good at all.
Instead, you should maybe try one of these things:
- Listen to this song by The Avalanches
- Ponder your very existence
- Smell some pleasant soap
- Literally just sit in a room and think about one thing, anything that isn’t this game, for five straight minutes
- Work on your velouté
- Do jumping jacks
- Fart
- Call a friend from high school you haven’t talked to in years
- Call another friend from high school you haven’t talked to in years and make fun of the first friend you just got off the phone with
- Watch Bob’s Burgers, because it is everything good about television
For my part, I’m going to be making pasta, and either watching basketball or working.
If you seriously want to watch this slop fest of a football game instead of doing anything from the above list, here’s how you can do it, you gigantic idiot:
How to watch, if you must
TV Schedule
Date: Thursday, December 15, 2016
Time: 8:25 PM ET
Channel: NFLN, NBC
Stream: Twitter
Location: CenturyLink Field, Seattle, Washington
Odds
Per Bovada, the Seahawks are the heavy favorites to win tonight’s “game.”
Los Angeles Rams +3 (+105)
Seattle Seahawks -3 (-125)
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Note: This is an open thread for the Thursday Night Football game. Feel free to discuss the game in the comment thread, even though I would advise you do literally anything else.