When we last checked in with the NFC East, the Eagles were dominating playoff teams, the Redskins were imploding, the Cowboys were playing poorly or not at all and the Giants were desperate. Let's see if anything has changed. (spoiler: nope)
Philadelphia Eagles (3-0)
Last week: Continued their pre-season dominance by beating the Packers 39-26. In the first half of games, where nearly every snap is played by players who will see meaningful playing time during the regular season, the Eagles have outscored opponents 86-17, which is a pretty nice differential of 69 points. They've scored on the ground, in the air and on returns. The only touchdowns they gave up were to Brett Hundley, who the Packers hope never has to play a down for them, but that's still really embarrassing. Sam Bradford looked as good as a player possibly can in a meaningless game and his knees and shoulders are still intact as far as we know. No word on if he was "overhydrated."
Tim Tebow failed on two 2 point conversions, throwing an interception on one of them. Jeff Maehl reminded everyone he's still on the roster, EJ Biggers tried to make people forget. Cody Parkey was injured, in his absence Kip Smith showed what it would be like if a fan was allowed to be a kicker. Check that, we know a fan could do better.
He was better than Chris Boniol.
This week: Another edition of Eagles vs Jets: Let's Just End the Damn Preseason. Fear not, Danny Woodhead is still on the Chargers.
Tweet of the Week: From the first overall pick in the Mock Draft Mock Draft: "I know more about what kind of player fits Chip Kelly's offense and vision than Chip Kelly does."
I don't agree that DeMarco Murray fits Eagles' offense better. I think vertically explosive backs fit that scheme better.— NFL Philosophy (@NFLosophy) August 29, 2015
Washington Redskins (3-0)
Last week: Beat the Ravens 31-13, though the first quarter was 10-0 Baltimore, this piece of propaganda actually turned out to be fairly accurate:
Oh hell yes pic.twitter.com/xPyah6Wviv— Dan Steinberg (@dcsportsbog) August 29, 2015
But once again, the game was just a plot device for our beleaguered hero, Subway spokesperson Robert Griffin III, to be waylayed by another disaster. John McLane never had it so hard.
If Dan Snyder is trending before noon on a game day, that is never a good thing for #Redskins fans.— chad dukes (@chaddukes) August 29, 2015
On Thursday, the Redskins announced that RGIII was cleared to play after suffering a concussion the week before. On Friday, the Redskins announced that he was not cleared to play. This was really interesting considering that earlier that day Jay Gruden went on national TV and said "he is cleared from all the doctors, the neurologists -- they've been cleared." Whoops. The Redskins also said that RGIII would be retested in a week or two.
If it's in the game, it's in the game.™
On Monday, Jay Gruden announced that
Curt Kurt Kirk Cousins will be the team's starter. Not for the next game, or the first game, but for the season. Well, until Gruden once again benches Cousins for Colt McCoy.
The Redskins starter slot machine. Tap video to play. https://t.co/pwLnPNFLSg— Dan Worthington (@danWorthington) August 29, 2015
This week: Who the hell knows. The team hosts the Jaguars on the field, but no one cares about that. Maybe they'll fire someone this week or something.
Tweets of the Week: There are so many to choose from.
RG3 news, ad placement pic.twitter.com/OkteHkRXsu— Danny (@recordsANDradio) August 31, 2015
pregame show, where to begin.. "Charles Mason" pic.twitter.com/kQ7EktShRx— Danny (@recordsANDradio) August 29, 2015
All aboard the Kirk Cousins bandwagon!!!! (PS this is his actual ride) pic.twitter.com/wgYr57rCnj— Phil Gentile (@iHateJJRedick) August 29, 2015
New York Giants (1-2)
Last week: Lost to the Jets 28-18, but it's *James May voice* good news, Eli Manning actually completed some passes, including a touchdown to the Jets. Ryan Nassib was the team's leading rusher with 30 yards, which really says all you need to know about the state of the Giants running game. This team is so boring that I've dozed off while writing this. Let's move on.
This week: The Giants travel to New England to play a meaningless game, Tom Coughlin probably really wants to win it.
Tweet of the Week: This could sum up the season for Big Blue.
Dallas Cowboys (0-3*)
*3-0 in the minds of Cowboys fans.
Last week: Lost to the Vikings 28-14. Tony Romo actually played, Dez Bryant did not; Darren McFadden actually did well, Joseph Randle was outgained on the ground by Vikings third string QB Taylor Heinicke.
First-half stats: Darren McFadden: 4 carries, 37 yards; 1 catch, 6 yards Joseph Randle: 6 carries, 15 yards; 1 catch, 8 yards— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) August 30, 2015
For Dallas fans, the bigger story is that no one who did not play due to injury did not get hurt. Great preseason for them. In a league that is seeing a possible correlation between a CBA mandated reduction in practice time and an increase in injuries, there is no reason for Cowboys fans to be concerned that rusty players who keep getting hurt could get hurt when they suddenly return to live action.
Since the start of the 2013 league year, the Cowboys have placed 53 different players on IR, most in the NFL pic.twitter.com/7h5XYaVfUs— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) August 26, 2015
This week: Dallas hosts Houston, and no one in the state of Texas gives a crap because they're getting ready for Texas vs Notre Dame on Saturday.
Tweet of the Week: The Jedi Master is quite popular.