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Everyone in the NFC East is injured, except the Eagles

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The injury reports are in mid-season form up and down the NFC East.

Matt Hazlett/Getty Images

We're halfway through the pre-season and the takes are getting even hotter. Let's take a look around the NFC East and see what's up, what's down and what's gone sideways.

Philadelphia Eagles (2-0)

Last week: Defeated the Baltimore Ravens 40-17. Sam Bradford and DeMarco Murray finally played and did not fall apart, despite the Ravens best efforts to do so. Mark Sanchez actually didn't look bad out there, Matt Barkley did. Ed Reynolds II and Eric Tomlinson returned to earth, once again the entire trio of both starting inside linebackers did not play. Diaheem Watkins recorded a sack, making it the greatest performance in team history by a D. Watkins. Kip Smith looked like he's never kicked a ball before, but still managed to be the second best kicker of the Chip Kelly era. Though Tim Tebow failed to score the Eagles continue to be undefeated when he plays, the man is quite simply a winner. They should obviously think about starting him.

Next week: The Eagles travel to Lambeau Memorial Field, site of the massacre of the Eagles secondary in 2014.

Tweet of the Week: One of the biggest Cowboys homers appears to be scared of the Eagles.

Washington Redskins (2-0)

Last week: Defeated the Detroit Lions 21-17, but the real story is, as always, Robert Griffin III and Jay Gruden. As we all know by now, Jay Gruden hates RGIII. Dan Snyder loves RGIII. The best way for Jay Gruden to be able to not play RGIII is for RGIII to be unable to play. The best way for Gruden to continued to be paid by the Redskins but not have to work for them is to be fired. Commence Operation RGIIIIR.

No chance at what? Drafting a QB early?

Next week: RGIII faces Terrell Suggs.

Tweet of the Week: Yes, we have complimentary WiFi.

New York Giants (1-1)

Last week: Defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 22-12 despite Eli Manning going 4-14 and the offense averaging 3.0 yards per carry.

It's for the better.

The Giants lost more players to injury this week, with starting safety Bennett Jackson tearing his ACL and backup safety Justin Currie fracturing his fibula and ankle. This is the second knee injury in as many years for Jackson. This is a reminder that Tom Coughlin, to quote Walter Thurmond, "doesn't believe in the modern medicine to progress the players to that next level" and that the Giants had the most Adjusted Games Lost to injury in both 2014 and 2013. They were 26th and 25th the two years prior to that.

Next week: The New York Giants are at home vs New York.

Tweet of the Week: We already knew that JPP was bad at math, now we know grammar isn't his thing either.

Gallows humor.

Dallas Cowboys (0-2)

Last week: Lost to the San Fransisco 49ers 23-6. The Cowboys were without a dozen starters due to injury, but the 49ers were without a dozen starters as well, due to retirements. But hey, Darren McFadden finally got to play.

Yep, he's right on track. He fell forwards three times for four yards.

Let's check in on Dez Bryant.


We interrupt this post for a FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN

But don't worry. Despite not looking good at anything in the pre-season so far, and despite Tony Romo and Sean Lee missing games as a precaution and Dez Bryant, Tyron Smith, Brandon Carr, Orlando Scandrick, Byron Jones and Rolando McClain out with injuries, the Cowboys look great because no one is injured.

None of the players who matter got hurt, mostly because they were already out with injuries. #Winning.

Next week: Former future Cowboy Adrian Peterson returns to Dallas.

Tweet of the Week: Jason Garrett is a Jedi Master.