2015 NFL Mock Draft: Vic Beasley to Chicago Bears

Vic Beasley, OLB, Clemson

From the Case Files of Detective Rohan "Bullet" Sharma or Vicky Beasley Barcelona

4/2/14

Philadelphia

They say the day after April Fool's day you feel smarter, because all the fools died the day before. I don't know what chump made up that proverb, but he sounds like the kinda guy I could get a beer and watch an adult movie with. The name is Rohan "Bullet" Sharma. I get called Bullet based of that time I went drinking with Plaxico Burress in Punta Cana. Good times. Scary Times. Times you had to lie to the judge times. Sorry forget I said that. Anyways I'm a locator. Meaning I locate people with the right skill set to fit your needs. I currently work for an outfit in Philly called Belligerent Guerilla Network or BGN for short. My boss is a big guy named Brandon, but around these parts everyone calls him the Notorious BLG and trust me the BLG does not stand for Big Friendly Giant. Partially because he's not very friendly, Mainly because "Friendly" does not start with an L. Today though he would be giving me the biggest case of my life.

It started like any other day at the office when suddenly the phone rang for me. It was the Notorious BLG. He had a case for me. Turns out there's this guy (they call him The Bear) up in Chi-Town who needs me to find him a person who can aid in his personal defense. Turns out he has lost a lot of his defenders due to age and right now, he has committed a lot of money to his attacking leader who really is (as the saying goes) not worth a pickle slice in hell. I look up some of guys who could fit the bill. Big Leo Willy was already occupied and El Dante was being held hostage in Jacksonville so I went to the next best name on my list. I'm hoping this Bear can play nice with this Tiger. Looks like I'm going to South Carolina.

4/3/14

Clemson

While en route to Clemson I had time to check out my contact's tape and profile. I opened my file on one Victoria "Vic" Beasley or as she is known in the criminal underground, Vicky B. Her "friends" call her Vic. The first thing I do, like I do with all females, is check out her Spider-Graph.

Woah that is one sexy Spider -Graph; curvy in all the right places. Vic is a freakin' beast. I put the Spider-Graph down and watch some tape of her in action:

The first thing I notice is Vic's speed. This could be because Vic initially was a RB. Vic moves quickly and fluidly when engaging with OL. As noted by one source from NFL.com

"Has ankle flexion to dip and slalom around corner at difficult angles to block. Able to change directions and burst to target. Primarily a hand-in-dirt rusher but has played standing, too. Able to drop into space. Solid instincts and outstanding closing burst. Quick hands to swat initial punch. Hands will get even better and could become a major weapon with more coaching. Can embarrass tackles who lunge and miss."

I believe it.

(Beasley against Georgia '13)

Vic also has the advantage of being in the Game for a longer period of time compared to Shane "Death" Ray and

Randy "Rando and the McCracken Brothers" Gregory. As per secret source WalterFootball.

"As a junior, Beasley was on the field more and upped his production to 13 sacks. He also picked up 23 tackles for a loss, 41 tackles, six passes batted, four forced fumbles and a fumble recovery for a touchdown.

Beasley totaled 12 sacks, 33 tackles, 21.5 tackles for a loss, two passes batted and three forced fumbles in 2014. The senior was very consistent in the early going, recording at least one sack in six straight games. He had excellent games against South Carolina and Florida State, notching multiple sacks against each rival

At the Combine, Beasley was a star. He officially ran the 40 in 4.53 seconds. That blistering time was especially impressive considering Beasley had recently packed on "about 10-15 pounds of weight."

This highlights Vic's abilities perfectly. Look how Vic just blows by the T. The RB literally is like "Eff that"

Before I could finish looking at Vic's files, I arrive in Clemson. The first thing I do when I arrive is picking up an old friend. Walker is his name, first name Johnny. The law states you can't drink and drive, but says nothing about driving and drinking. I am about to savor my first drop when my phone rings. Turns out it's my boy from the office Mikey K. Mikey K is a good egg. The kinda egg you want to find on Easter, colorful with a lot of good things inside. He tells me that I have to get to Vicky's condo quick there has been a break in!

I drive quickly and carefully (so I wouldn't spill my scotch ) to Vicky's place. I kick open the already open door and peer inside. It's a mess. Files everywhere. I am just to start investigating when what feels like a ‘96 Isuzu Trooper hits me. I pull out my gun when I recognize my assailant; it's Vicky.

I tell her it's me and she asks me what I'm doing here and if I caused this mess. I told her it wasn't me it must've been another locator trying to see what they can get on her. She asks me if I have a job for her. I tell her it's in Chicago. She tells me she wants to come to Philly with me. Typical dames. I should mention me and Vicky had a history together but that's in the past. I tell her no and start listing her weaknesses:

Vic needs to build more strength to be effective. It's a common problem most locators have with her. Back in Georgia in 2014, Vic was constantly contained by the Georgia OL. Vic was taken out of plays and had a hard time disengaging.

That being said, a good DL coach can help Vic on the technique aspect of the game. I'm sure if Vic hits the weight room more and works on techniques to get past OL, Vic will become a fearsome pass rusher in the vein of Von Miller.

I tell Vic that why she is amazing, I can't love a woman for her spider graph. Besides I have a new girl, Mary Ota and she makes me truly happy. Vicky tearfully accepts but asks me why did I pick her. I told her a former defender Stephen White gave a great report on you and said the following:

"He's got it all, the total fucking package as a pass rusher. It's been a very long time since I watched a pass rusher who made me cuss watching him play. I sounded like a damn sailor watching this kid's film."*

Vicky gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves for Chicago. I step outside to light a cigarette and to call Mikey K to send the chopper over to pick me up, it's time for me to come home.

He tells me we don't have a chopper and to take the bus. Thanks Mikey K.

The End?

*If you're interested in more Vic hype, read White's article.

2015 BGN Mock Draft Order

1) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (slickpablovick) - Jameis Winston, QB, FSU - [Explanation]
2) Tennessee Titans (mchiodo) - Leonard Williams, DE, USC - [Explanation]
3) Jacksonville Jaguars ("Snax") - Dante Fowler Jr., OLB, UF - [Explanation]
4) Oakland Raiders (kylebruneault) - Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama - [Explanation]
5) Washington Redskins (BigTimeTMZ) - Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon - [Explanation]
6) New York Jets (4thand26) - Kevin White, WR, WVU - [Explanation]
7) Chicago Bears (rohan915) - Vic Beasley, OLB, Clemson - [Explanation]
8) Atlanta Falcons (GMinTraining) -
9) New York Giants (Grandpapa Joe) -
10) St. Louis Rams (deg0ey) -
11) Minnesota Vikings (ablesser88) -
12) Cleveland Browns (djcunningham) -
13) New Orleans Saints (del.champion) -
14) Miami Dolphins (drc242) -
15) San Francisco 49ers (SleepingDuck) -
16) Houston Texans (JaviYL) -
17) San Diego Chargers (StoneColeKiller58) -
18) Kansas City Chiefs (jimmyrustler) -
19) Cleveland Browns (NowWhat?) -
20) Philadelphia Eagles (sports00fan00) -
21) Cincinnati Bengals (Zach_The_Gamecock) -
22) Pittsburgh Steelers (KJ Brophy) -
23) Detroit Lions (KamiKazeJEDI) -
24) Arizona Cardinals (ItownBallers22) -
25) Carolina Panthers (AndyMcNabb) -
26) Baltimore Ravens (dceagles) -
27) Dallas Cowboys (kamjam) -
28) Denver Broncos (WubbaLubbaDubDub) -
29) Indianapolis Colts (ei78) -
30) Green Bay Packers (Nka727) -
31) New Orleans Saints (SwoopThereItIs) -
32) New England Patriots (naderg43) -