The holiday season is upon us, and prior to it the NFL announced the schedule for 2016 London games. One of them is the Rams "hosting" whoever finishes in the same place in the NFC as them in the NFC West. This means the NFL might foist the Redskins upon England two weeks in a row. That's what you get for giving us soccer! There's still 5 weeks left for the flotsam and jetsam of the division to drift across the ocean, but let's take a look at who's in line to get deported!
The NFC East: So bad we don't know which one of you should go to London yet
— John Barchard (@JohnBarchard) November 25, 2015
Washington Redskins (5-6)
Last week: Got out to a 20-0 lead on the Giants in the fourth quarter, then tried to blow it and failed, so they won 20-14 to move into first place. Curd Cousins hit DeSean Jackson for a 63 yard touchdown, then Jackson never had another catch and just one target the rest of the game. But hey, he got his touchdown. The Redskins capitalized on three Eli Manning turnovers by scoring 0 points off of them. A commanding win to take a commanding lead in the division.
This week: Face the Cowboys on Monday night, sounds like fun.
(Re-)Deportation status: Sandra Bullock in The Proposal. The Rams will finish 3rd or 4th, and with the Cowboys and Eagles on track to finish at the bottom of the division, the Redskins should be as safe as a character played by Sandra Bullock and co-starring Ryan Reynolds. This could be a metaphor for Jay Gruden's job security and Kurt Cousins.
Tweets of the Week: Review your social media policies.
Wishing you and your family a Happy #Thanksgiving. pic.twitter.com/qI3U7hbGhK
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) November 26, 2015
Skins UK is a show. This is going to be confusing https://t.co/wz6wnsIQKQ
— Dan Steinberg (@dcsportsbog) November 25, 2015
New York Giants (5-6)
Last week: Rather than their custom of blowing a lead, the Giants came off their bye and tried to pull a 180 and have another team blow the lead. But they failed at that and were unable to mount a comeback and fell 20-14 to the Redskins. Innovative stuff. Odell Beckham made another amazing touchdown grab in a loss. The Giants first two drives ended on interceptions by Archie Manning's Slightly Less Large Adult Son, he also threw a third, and none of them were his worst pass of the game. No, that would be the end of game lateral that he overthrew. It was a thing of beauty.
Eli is the best pic.twitter.com/ZOoG4EkkiS
— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) November 29, 2015
This week: The New York Jets come to town.
Deportation status: Justin Bieber. Yes, Justin Bieber. Probably should be deported, if only for the hell of it, but they'll be safe.
Tweets of the Week: Whoops
A very Happy Thanksgiving for the Giants is reflected on the @NYDNsports back page ... pic.twitter.com/iTwVxBeBsM
— Ralph Vacchiano (@RVacchianoNYDN) November 27, 2015
Tough loss for the Giants and Eli Man Penguin Boy. https://t.co/ZfEcRZM3jY pic.twitter.com/XVj1rg2wSx
— Brandon Lee Gowton (@BrandonGowton) November 29, 2015
can you imagine how much worse eli would look if he didn't have obj
— Lana Berry (@Lana) November 29, 2015
Philadelphia Eagles (4-7)
Last week: Like that tattoo your sister got and everyone at Thanksgiving dinner knows about, I don't really want to talk about it. This team is just plain bad.
This week: Visit the Patriots. Go ahead and make plans with your family for Sunday.
Deportation status: Elian Gonzalez. The Rams will likely finish third because the 49ers are so awful, and the Eagles will likely finish third because the Cowboys are so awful. And the way this season has gone we should probably have the government forcibly remove them anyway.
Tweets of the Week:
in philadelphia today, where the mood amongst local football fans can best be characterized as "pre-revolutionary france"
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 26, 2015
I may hate everything they stand for, but at least the Kardashians knew when it was time to cut ties with Miles Austin.
— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) November 26, 2015
Eagles life is being mocked by porn accounts. This is the bottom. pic.twitter.com/sBnXSzmQjl
— Jamie Lynch (@jelynchjr) November 26, 2015
Chip had a look on his face like he checked his cell phone after the game and had 45 missed calls from Jeffrey Lurie
— Jawn 3:16 (@breakingCHADD) November 26, 2015
Kurt Coleman has more yards today than DeMarco Murray.
— Jimmy Kempski (@JimmyKempski) November 26, 2015
I want the Eagles to run an offense so slow that they never run a play
— bad horse (@ColinHumphreys) November 27, 2015
Yes please pic.twitter.com/dEW2Tvu7Ik
— Dan Schmidt (@DanS_SotS) November 29, 2015
Dallas Cowboys (3-8)
Last week: The triumphant return of Tony Romo lasted just 1.75 games as Tony Romo re-inured his collarbone on Thanksgiving. The non-existent chance for the Cowboys to make the playoffs vanished, and now they'll have a tremendous opportunity to pass on his eventual replacement in the draft with a top 5 pick. Kurt Coleman and Luke Kuechly each had more receiving yards and TDs than Dez Bryant as the Cowboys lost 33-14. Because Jerry Jones is convinced that rushing Romo back for the umpteenth time in his career was worth it, because doing things that are unreasonable is justification for doing things that are unreasonable.
We felt the risk was worth the potential for having him be the impact he can be and really having a fairytale turnaround and doing something that was special. And to me, that’s what we’re about, that’s what sports is about. You shouldn’t ever quit trying to do something extraordinary.
Jerry can you explain to my fiance that I should never quit trying to be Batman? Thanks in advance.
This week: Visit the suddenly red hot at home Redskins. Cassel vs Cousins. Garrett vs Gruden. Jones vs Snyder. Feel the excitement.
Deportation status: Gary Glitter. Deported from Cambodia (to the UK!) for being a disgusting criminal, much like Cowboys Inspirational Leader Greg Hardy. Unlike Hardy, Glitter is currently in prison.
Tweets of the Week:
Dallas 24, Carolina 20.
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) November 25, 2015
TFW Jerry he'll let you have extra green bean casserole after the game pic.twitter.com/I9zFXqmIf2
— ryan van bibber (@justRVB) November 26, 2015
JASON GARRETT: I believe in you, you're great COWBOYS: you know, coach is right GARRETT: (turns away from mirror) when did you guys get here
— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) November 26, 2015
JASON GARRETT: I believe in you, you're great COWBOYS: you know, coach is right GARRETT: (turns away from mirror) when did you guys get here
— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) November 26, 2015
HUGE plays by Lee and Jones to prevent TD's on 3 consecutive plays. Keeps the #Cowboys in the game. Big difference between 27-3 & 23-3.
— Jordan Ross (@TheJordanRoss) November 26, 2015
Which of these NFL Quarterbacks would be killed the fastest in #TheWalkingDead?
— The Walking Dead (@TheWalkingDead) November 27, 2015
Now I'm starting to miss Brandon Weeden.
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) November 26, 2015