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The Dallas Cowboys find the "offensive" spark they've been looking for

adjective 1. causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset, or angry.

By Dave Mangels
Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

It's only mid-October but the NFC East has already been decided.

Atlanta Falcons (5-0)

Last week: Clinched the NFC East with a sweep, having defeated the Redskins 25-19 in overtime after having previously defeated the Eagles, Cowboys and Giants.

Next week: Doesn't really matter, they can coast from here having locked up the division.

New York Giants (3-2)

Last Week: "It's better to be lucky than good" isn't just a saying, it is the mantra of the Tom Coughlin era. Facing an 49ers team devoid of talent, coaching and inspiration and entering the game with worst point differential in the league, the Giants needed a nail biting and lucky end of game drive to pull out a 30-27 win.

Also in that drive, Eli Manning threw what should have been an interception. But hey, whatever it takes to beat Jim Tomsula. Pretty much the only entertaining thing about this game was that the guy who ran on the field had to be picked up from jail by his mom. And he was charged with "fourth-degree throwing of bodily fluids". Eww.

This week: Visit the Eagles on Monday night.

Tweet of the Week:

Washington Redskins (2-3)

Last week: Curt Cousins tried, Kurt Cousins failed. Owner of the worst interception percentage in the NFL among active players, Cousins predictably won the game in overtime on a touchdown pass to the Atlanta Falcons. It was a bad decision and an even worse throw, but Jay Gruden refused to assign blame to anyone for it. Had RGIII made that throw, there would be half a dozen stories with anonymous sources from within the Redskins bashing Griffin.

This game was so ugly that despite half my fantasy team playing in it I found it painful to watch. Matt Jones was the leading rusher for the Redskins with 20 yards. It took Cousins 32 passes to get to 200 yards, and this was his second best yards per attempt game this season. Chris Thompson caught 6 passes for 33 yards, which seems hard to do if you tried.

Sorry, but a cramp counts as getting hurt.

This week: Visit the Jets, who are coming off their bye. If you can get the Jets defense in fantasy, do so.

Tweets of the week:

Philadelphia Eagles (2-3)

Last week: Beat the crappy Saints 39-17. Sure, the Saints stink, but so do the Eagles, and if not for two red zone interceptions by Sam Bradford it would have been a laugher. Considering how the rest of the division played, things are looking up! There were many bright spots. DeMarco Murray rushed for 100 yards. For the season, which is pretty good for him. Jordan Matthews held on to some passes, and Josh Huff looked like an actual player with a really nice catch and run for a 41 yard score. Caleb Sturgis kicked the ball eight times and only missed once, which for him is like a good month of football.

As the great Bob Uecker said in Major League, "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar." Attendance aside, that's the Eagles! Those guys barely made the playoffs, maybe the Eagles will. To quote James Gammon in Major League, they "just need something to bring it all together."

Sam Bradford has obviously seen this movie, which is why, to draw one more parallel to it, he also thought it would be a good idea for some nudity in the locker room to rally the team.

Next week: First and last place are on the line as the Eagles host the Giants on Monday night.

Tweets of the week:

Dallas Cowboys (2-3)

Last week: With Dez Bryant and Tony Romo out with injuries, the Cowboys were looking for an offensive spark. They found it. Greg Hardy returned from his 4 game suspension that followed a 15 game suspension for beating his girlfriend then paying her off not to testify in court against him by showing absolutely no remorse or any shred of maturity. Cowboy fans loved it, everyone else in America was nothing short of disgusted. Not quite the offensive spark the Cowboys were looking for, but beggars can't be choosers.

Roger Goodell has said that playing in the NFL is a privilege. Greg Hardy is not deserving of that privilege. He committed a violent crime, then committed another crime to cover it up, and has shown no responsibility for his actions. But hey, he got his sacks in a blowout loss to the Patriots and the Cowboys are paying him over $11 million this year. Good for you Greg!

This week: The Cowboys are on a bye, giving everyone time to rethink their life choices.

Tweets of the week:

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