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The Chronicles of JERRAH! All Liquored Up and Wonderful

The title is good enough.

Jamie Squire

Originally there wasn't going to be any text in this post, just the following picture courtesy of Deadspin's article:



Naturally, there were lots of reactions in social media -- and private text group chats too. Plenty of mocking yet innocuous "JERRAH!!!!!" texts were sent (ok, mostly by me), among other exquisite content not fit to print. I had one friend say he seriously wondered for at least 15 minutes whether the female in the picture is a kid (under 18) or a woman in her 20s or 30s. Hmmmmmm. Wait, does Jones NOT HAVE PANTS ON?!?!?!? At least we can say with a little more certainty that the very happy lady in the groping pictures is of age, but really, who even knows? It's times like these when you remember there are always 16-year old girls out there who look like they're in their 20s.

Alas, BGN didn't really consider doing a post on Jones' latest and most salacious publicized faux pas until a few hours ago. Brandon was busy covering training camp, Mike wasn't near a computer and Dave was doing his everyday job of controlling what you watch on TV. I was out as well at the time but promised I'd post something when I got home. Now I am home, and I've read more about this BREAKING STORY! Of course it gets even better by getting weirder as I see Deadspin has tweeted out its followup piece, replete with God's son being the leak.

Those weird photos of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and some ladies hanging out in what appears to be a bathroom come with an equally bughouse backstory. They were first put on the internet by a man named Frank Hoover, who alleges that they were taken by people looking to set up Jerry Jones in an extortion plot. Hoover explains all of this in his 20-page manifesto, which also makes clear that Hoover is in fact the son of God.

Cool beans. Just Jerry being Jerry, ya know? Boys will be boys! Having the son of God involved is always fun, ratchets things up a notch. I wonder if we've heard the last of this story, whatever it is. Somehow I think there's more.

I have no idea what happened at Eagles training camp today -- but Brandon does, and that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

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