Eagles head coach Chip Kelly made ESPN personality Keith Olbermann's list of worst people in sports on Monday night. Why? Well, watch the video above (starting at 2:02) and/or read the full transcript below.
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"But our winner, Philadelphia Eagles coach Chip Kelly, if that is your real name. This is from the Eagles-Bears game from last week and it may be the creepiest thing I've ever seen… so naturally, I wanted to share it with you.
[Video clip of Chip Kelly using his tongue to raise his headset]
So it's all funny and ha ha, and look at Chip Kelly adjusting his headset mic with his tongue. And how many R-rated jokes can you make out of that one and ha ha ha he loves the taste of headset! And he wears green, and is he really a chameleon? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…
This is very serious. Do you know the Draconian's conspiracy theory? The one that a poll last year showed four percent of registered American voters actually believe that the world is actually run by the Draconians? Also known as reptilians, or reptiloids, a small cadre of elites, or their descendants? Who ascend to positions of power and domination by any means necessary? And supposedly this includes everybody from George W. Bush to Queen Elizabeth to, I think the newest one is Adam Silver? And they're extraterrestrials who shape shift? And they're reptile people? Huh? Huh? See where I'm going here?
[Video clip of Chip Kelly again]
There you go. Proof of the reptilian reptile people conspiracy. Gabby Johnson was right! And Chip Kelly, coach of the Eagles, is actually a shapeshifting reptile coach from another planet. Now that this conspiracy been has resolved, a new one arises.
What kind of conspiracy is this when "Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles" is a considered a position of power or domination?
Chip Kelly, coach of the Eagles, with a prehensile tongue, and he's a reptilian. Of course, if this stuff were really true, they'd no doubt cut me off in mid sentence and we might or might not be back after the break---"
Now, of course, this is all very silly. There's no way that Chip Ke--- HOLY S*** I THINK OLBERMANN IS ONTO SOMETHING HERE
