Before we get started, no, the title of this article is not a joke. This is a serious thing that actually happened.
It all started when I was browsing Twitter and saw the following tweet:
First of all: are you effing kidding me, Redskins?!
OK, so maybe it's true. Maybe you do have the best third string QB. That's great and all but really, so what? What does that even matter? How likely is it that your 3rd string QB even sees the field? And if he somehow does, is that something fans should really even be excited about? The fact that the 2 QBs in front of him (Robert Griffin III and Kirk Cousins) are unable to play? It's not like a team is going to go on a serious playoff run at the helm of a 3rd string QB. What's your point?
But I'll be nice. I'll click your link and see what more you have to say.
On Thursday, the Washington Redskins brought back a another familiar face—10-year veteran gunslinger Rex Grossman.
2013 will be Grossman’s fourth year in the DMV. From 2010-2012, the University of Florida product appeared in 17 contests and threw for over 4,000 yards and 23 touchdowns.
And 24 interceptions and 12 fumbles! So almost a fumble and at least one interception per every game he appeared in! That's a good thing, right? Oh and how could you forget his impressive 6-10 record as a starter?
Grossman will more than likely be the number three quarterback in Washington this season, and let me tell you to have someone with Grossman’s experience as a third-stringer is a rarity.
Oooohhh, I'm intrigued.
According to ourlads.com, there are currently 23 teams that are carrying at least three quarterbacks on their rosters.
Of the 23 signal callers who find themselves as the third man on the depth chart, only one has appeared in a Super Bowl.
Only one has thrown for 3,000 yards in a season twice.
Of the 23 men, one can claim to have had a 20 touchdown season.
That man is Rex Grossman and he is the best third string quarterback in the league. Period.
PERIOD. Suck it, NFL. Your third stringers don't have crap on Rex Grossman. Cancel the NFL season. There's no way anyone can even dream of beating the Skins with a third string QB this great.
In fact, Grossman could be the backup for a handful of teams across the league. The only reason why he finds himself as the third man down the chart is due to the Redskins having two of the best young talents in the league in front of him.
Yes, Rex is quite the hot commodity at backup QB. That is why so many (there are literally no reports of any teams having had interest in him) teams were lining up to sign him in free agency. I'm sure so many teams are devastated that they missed on acquiring Rex Grossman to be their backup.
To be fair, the "young talents" comment is very accurate. RG3 and Cousins look to be good talents at QB. That's definitely a nice thing the Skins have going for them.
In football, it all comes down to executing the gameplan to outscore your opponent and while a field goal here and there is certainly nice to have, you need to put points on the board by scoring some touchdowns.
That's a great point, Redskins. But what does this have to do with Rex?
Grossman has 56 career passing touchdowns.
The other 23 third stringers have 57 touchdowns…combined.
OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO IMPRESSED but wait why did you fail to mention Rex's 60 interceptions? You see, Redskins, your aforementioned philosophy about scoring touchdowns works both ways. If Rex is throwing interceptions, he's giving the other team chances to throw touchdowns! And if he's throwing more interceptions than touchdowns, that means more touchdowns for the other team. That means he's not good and you're losing! Do you think that explains his 6-10 record as a starter? Oh, and let's not forget his 32 career fumbles, either. That's a combined 56 TD to 92 turnovers. Great work, Rex!
Keep your eyes on Grossman this summer as the Redskins prepare to defend their 2012 NFC East title and secure the fourth Lombardi Trophy in franchise history. He was a key to Griffin III’s transition from Heisman-winning quarterback to the AP Offensive Rookie of the Year and will be looked to to provide leadership once again
Yes, what would have RG3 done without the VETERAN PRESENCE of the Rex Grossman last year? Who else would have taught the young rookie to say it "Eff it, I'm going deep!"? Who could be counted on to teach RG3 how to be a turnover machine?
That Rex took the former Heisman winner and molded him into ROY is quite the accomplishment. Why didn't we just award the trophy to Rex himself, though?
Hail to the Redskins!
More like Hail to the LolSkins.
I personally can't wait to read their next story about how they have the best long snapper in the NFL or maybe even the best water boy. Or why stop there? Why not the best ketchup packets? The best napkins? The best ticket checkers?
The possibilities are endless.