FanPost

The Hate Rankings: NFL teams that Eagles fans dislike the most

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

[Ed. note: Promoted from the FanPosts.]

Welcome one, welcome all to BGN's first (I think) Hate Rankings! Like all great ideas, this idea was shamelessly stolen from our Seahawks SB Nation affiliate Field Gulls. One day after messing around online, I decided to actually use the internet for some actual knowledge and start exploring the various SB Nation sites. When I reached the Field Gulls site an article titled "Hate Rankings" jumped out at me. When I started reading the article, I discovered that the aforementioned article contained nothing but sarcastic quips, bad jokes, and unjustifiable rage. I immediately thought to myself, "This is literally BGN in a nutshell."

Since ranking anything unleashes some inner beast inside of Man, I should note these rankings are my own. I tried my best to think holistically but I'm sure I messed up somewhere along the way. Also note these are hate rankings for this year only. While history does play a factor, I'm ranking based on current events. If you really have a problem with these rankings, kindly seek medical attention to remove the giant stick up your ass (unless you put it there and decided to roll with it) Now without further to do I present to you BGN's FIRST HATE RANKINGS!!! (I think):

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#31- Houston Texans

The Texans are like our brother from another mother. It's hard to hate a team that has given us players such as #Barwinning (Thanks Eagles social media), Mufasa, and Donnie Longball/Football. Can't wait until JJ and Clowney decide to make the holy pilgrimage to Philly.

#30- San Diego Chargers

Hard to hate someone when your QB looks like this

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#29- Detroit Lions

This is probably the highest Detroit as a city has ever been ranked! Naw I'm just kidding Detroit has some great rappers Shady, Royce, Danny Brown, etc. No Big Sean is not a great rapper. Rap aside the Lions are probably the most likeable franchise in the NFC. Plus Pride of Detroit is pretty awesome too. They have a fun roster and they forever gave us one of the best Eagles images ever

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Remember when Shady was cool. I guess the snow is prophetic to the level of saltiness we would later experience.

#28- Cincinnati Bengals

This is the first time in the last decade I've ever typed out the word Cincinnati. By the way how do we currently have two NFL franchises in Ohio and none in LA. And for the smartasses out there its a rhetorical question. Anyways Cincy is the easiest team to root for out of the four AFC North teams. Plus Andy Dalton gives me Ron Weasley flashbacks so he's ok in my book #GingerJesus.

#27- New York Jets

The Jets are the only team from New York besides the Mets that is tolerable. They get a little too much media attention despite the fact the following players have been their QBs in the last five years

-Geno Smith

-Mark Sanchez (he's awesome though)

-Michael Vick at 33

-Kellen Clemens

-Greg McElroy

Thanks NFL for subjecting my eyes to this crap. Also their best player is a guy who left their team just to win a Super Bowl on their rivals team. That's like basically saying "You guys suck and your worst enemy is so much better than you."

#26-Cleveland Browns

Thus ends our quick tour of Ohio (Thank God). I'm sure 76ers fans have more reason to hate the city of Cleveland but this ain't Liberty Ballers. Overall though the Browns suck too much to be a threat. I don't even feel like typing anymore about them so lets move on.

#25- Jacksonville Jaguars

They took Mike Kaye from us. The North Remembers

I should note that Mike and I are in separate relationships with other women

for now.

#24-Denver Broncos

It's hard to hate a team too much when they have Peyton Manning on it. Really I just ranked the Broncos higher (get it) just for subjecting my eyes to the crappiest Super Bowl of all time. Plus any city with recreational Marijuana is alright with me. BLAZE IT!

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#23- Oakland Raiders

The Raiders call their fan base the Black Hole, that must be because they have been f**ked by every team in the league.

#22- Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Really though that MRSA infection is more potent than the Bucs. But for real though not a bad roster they are assembling. Winston is a crapstain though.

#21- Miami Dolphins

The media always seems to compare the Eagles offense to the Dolphins just because of Bill Lazor. HEY MEDIA NOT THE SAME, CHIP KELLY'S PINKY TOE IS SMARTER THAN BILL LAZOR. To be honest though Lazor is a badass name even if he did just get his job stealing CK's notes.

#20- Indianapolis Colts

Colts are the Cavs of the freakin' NFL. Two once in a generation QBs back to back. I personally think they are the most overrated team in the NFL with the most overrated staff in the NFL. Andrew Luck should be MVP every year for making that team halfway decent. It's pretty sad the most noted thing the Colts have done in the last five years is rat out the Patriots

#19-Minnesota Vikings

The Eagles constantly lose gimmie games to these clowns. They annoy me. They should be punished. Oh wait they are based in Minnesota. We are even. Insert Adrian Peterson Joke.

#18-Kansas City Chiefs

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#17- Atlanta Falcons

I still hate Dunta Robinson.

#16- Baltimore Ravens

The team version of Dunta Robinson

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#15- Chicago Bears

Less Obnoxious version of the Cowboys. I also hate Soldier Field with a passion.

#14-Carolina Panthers

Just because of the Kelvin Benjamin fanboys. Can't wait for Jordan Matthews to outplay him every year.Also Ron Rivera is a crappy coach who did not deserve Coach of the Year in 2013.

#13- San Francisco 49ers

13 is an appropriate number for the 49ers because I don't remember a team having a worse offseason than the 49ers did in a long time. Still though I don't feel bad at all. They are the FortyWhiners for a reason. The Harbaugh who didn't win the Super Bowl was probably the reason why they were any good, now he left them for a crappy college football team which makes total sense. Wait they offered him how much? Good thing they have Kaepernick the guy who can't physically kiss his arm but tries to anyway.

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#12- St Louis Rams

Remember when there were all these Nick Foles fans on BGN, where have they gone now? What sucks is that we will forever be comparing Nicky to Sam. I'm more pissed about the fact they have our second round draft pick next year. I'm praying Chip has a plan to fuse Bradford's bones with Adamantium.

#11 -Buffalo Bills

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I'm sure the Bills/Eagles game will be civil and polite. But seriously Shady be Salty AFFFFFFFF. I'm sure he's gonna be very successful in Buffalo because no one can throw on their team. Enjoy the winters Shady!

#10- Tennessee Titans

On paper the Eagles had a fantastic draft. In my mind this was the best plan B. But on behalf on most Eagles fans, F*** YOU FOR TAKING MARIOTA. Yes the price was way too high, but it sucks we most likely will never see Chip's offense ran by the ideal QB. It sucks he's going to a wastehole of a team. The Edmonton Oilers of the NFL for my Canadian brothers out there. Everything about that team is crap and boring. On the plus side this finally ends the Mariota conversations on BGN and honestly a whole offseaon of MARIOTA would've killed me. On that note goodnight sweet prince

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#9 New England Patriots

In light of recent events everything that I could say about the Patriots has been said. I honestly don't know what's worse, the Patriots thinking they can do whatever they want, or the homerisim by their fans. Seriously read Pats Pulpit if you want a laugh.

#8 New Orleans Saints

I miss the days when the Saints where a crappy non existent team in the NFL. Good thing it looks like those days are coming again. I don't know what genius decided to trade away their best player not named Drew Brees, but way to also piss off your best player (Brees) in the process They are dirty as hell too and I'm not just talking about their fans. Their fans are almost as bad as their team. Enjoy your impending mediocrity

#7-Pittsburgh Steelers

The most inbred fanbase north of Dallas, which makes sense because most Dallas fans become Steelers fans when playoffs roll around. Steelers are another team that is on the tail end of it's window. Their defense is trashhhhhh having lost two good players. Right now Steelers live and die by the trinity LeVon Bell , Antonio Brown, and Ben "I didn't touch her" Rothliswhogivesacrap.

#6 -Green Bay Packers

The Packers and Eagles have had a tenacious history. In recent events, the Eagles have been on the receiving end. The Packers could've been a dynasty in the last five years if they weren't coached by the most inept coach since Dan Bylsma . As a result they have only won one Super Bowl and choked away many other chances (CC: Brian Bostick) . But no matter as long as McCarthy is coach, the Packers will continue to have stellar seasons only to lose in the NFC Championship. Also screw you for taking HaHa. Still think Marcus Smith can be good though.

#5-Washington Racist Team

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#4- Seattle Seahawks

I literally needed a second to gather my rage before typing about the Seahawks. First and foremost f*** you so hard for taking Russell Wilson a guy who I knew would be something special on the Eagles (don't read the comment section Anthro.) Second, I'm so over Richard Sherman, not for any reason but the fact he's a loudmouth. Third, their whole team is brought to you by PEDs. Fourth, they drafted Earl Thomas forever creating a legion of Eagles fans who will never let that go. Fifth, The 12th Man is the stupidest thing ever YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE TEAM. Besides you stole that concept from Texas A&M. I hope the Seahawks are the next team that gets reamed by the NFL for cheating. By the way this is what Richard Sherman thinks of Macklemore:

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#3- New York Giants

In my personal hate rankings, the Giants are a clear number one. Mainly because of the one true holy reason that Eli Manning, Tom Coughlin, and John Mara sold their souls in order to luck their way into two Super Bowls. Eli Manning is one of the worst quarterbacks to ever win a Super Bowl. Eli has an overall QB rating of 82.4 which puts him 42nd of all time. Note that Matt Schaub has a rating of 89.5. Eli has benefited from clutch WR play which he is now gonna get from ODB if he stays healthy. And that's another thing ODB HAS PLAYED ONE INCOMPLETE SEASON IN THE NFL. Let's stop making him a God just yet. Don't even get me started on Tom Coughlin a coach so inept that he couldn't even stop one of his players from banging his daughter. My wish is that he get's so red in the face that he literally turns into a tomato.

I leave you with this:

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#2- Arizona Cardinals

This may be a surprise to some, but others will be right with me. The Eagles always seem to play the Cardinals in a crossroad game. The worst being the NFC Championship which the Eagles should have won. It's also frustrating because the Eagles have lost four out of the last five games against the Cardinals. Not to mention that Bruce Arians is the biggest dick since Ron Jeremy. I'm tired of always seeing Larry Fitzgerald burning Eagles CBs the dude is 32 can't anyone stop him? Also can you think of a least intimidating mascot than a Cardinal? Also enjoy the empty shell of Carson Palmer who you just paid 50 mil too and if he gets injured you have the stunning trio of Drew Stanton, Logan Thomas, and former Mr. Irrelevant Chandler Harnish.

#1- DalASS Cowboys

Didn't Catch it

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BONUS PICs:

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