FanPost

Senseless Trade Speculation & Roster Tweaking

A true fan of any team spends the majority of their waking hours fantasizing about scenarios in which their beloved team's greatest assets can have career highs with another team.

The formula is simple: find a team dumb enough to want a pro bowl playmaker in their prime, & fleece them for picks below market value. Nothing beats the excitement of an unproven rookie draft pick replacing superstar production.

I would tell you that Foles will be traded due to his immobility, but you already know the only important skill a quarterback can possess is speed.

Same with receivers success correlating to height: Momah>>>>Megatron a thousand times out of ten.

Height is top offensive priority regardless of sport. NBA greats Andrew Bynum & Greg Oden are both 7 foot HOF'ers. Randy Johsnon is the greatest hitter to ever grace the major league. Chara is the best scorer in all of hockey. Gold medal wrestler Andre the Giant is only outdone by oscar-worthy actor Gheorghe Mureșan who only appeared in one film! Greatness is measured with a ruler, especially in a game of inches.

It's become more than apparent, the team needs relieved of it's most productive & speediest pass catcher. There has to be at least one wide receiver available in the first round that's a legit 6 footer (& let's keep it real, preferably white so no drama...cooper, foles, mathis, ertz, celeck, lane, toddfather, tucker, & kelce all on the same side of the ball is any honkey's wet dream for a Tecmo Bowl squad). Any receiving prospect taken in the first round of a draft this deep is already guaranteed a step ahead of Jackson in production from day 1, don't forget Jackson can never be better than a second round receiver. I've already sharpied a zero to the end of my #10 jersey, bc the #1 receiver will be catching 100 passes from our new qb terrell pryor (He ran all over my team in high school, the pros can't be much better/bigger.)

I wish that was all the work that needed to be done...unfortunately for the eagles, shady isn't a bruising back. You need someone slow & statuesque to wear the defense down early & take important snaps away from an explosive offense. A slow back also gives your linemen longer to practice blocking, bc they get to wait an extra half second for the ball to get back to scrimmage. Builds chemistry in the oline, which you'll need after...

Trade Lane Johnson for Dion Jordan, & you can ship that lombardi straight to Howie, cuz Chip can coast with that roster.

Bowldyn is a free agent, til he realizes how desperately he's been needed in philly. your super bowl mvp.

his roster spot will be free once brandon graham is released outright, for deciding to play a position that isn't even in a 3-4 allignment...where'd we get this tard? Does he even lift?

Nate Allen can be replaced once we reach for another safety, & find a gem with a degenerative knee condition.

Also, Steve Smith is only 90 years old. second Steve Smith's the charm right?

P.S. How hard is it to find a fatass to replace bennie logan? BRING BACK THE SOAP with Beefy BJ Rhaji!!

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