Sorry for getting this to you a day late, but as you know, every Eagles related news has an impact on Andy Reid's draft strategy. As someone with insider knowledge of the Eagles draft plans here is what the front office is planning to do in a few weeks:
*Note- Some of these are my suggestions. If Andy doesn't follow through on them he is a complete idiot.
1. CB Janoris Jenkins
I once read an article about how there are some guys who fall unnecessarily in the draft because of a few certain character concerns. Pot smoking was one of them. I know some people want to stay away from him due to his drug problem, but people forget that he dominated college while he was high. Could you imagine how much better he would be if he finally stopped smoking weed? Even if he doesn't quit, the Eagles can rest assured that he'll be inside his house all day smoking pot instead of on the street causing mayhem or making crappy rap videos.
2. QB Brandon Weeden
Don't see this as a replacement for Mike Vick. See this as the "QB by committee" approach. For the past 3 seasons, Eagles QBs have missed significant playing time due to injury. There isn't a single QB out there right now who is as pro ready as Brandon Weeden. We also haven't had a good QB controversy in over a year, we're due one. If he plays well we can trade Mike Vick for a 2013 2nd round pick, and then trade Weeden for a 2014 2nd round pick. THE CYCLE CONTINUES!
2. WR/LB Brittney Griner
Cleveland will draft Morris Claiborne with #4 overall pick giving them 2 shutdown corners. Morris Claiborne is an athletic play maker that can out jump anyone except Brittney Griner. Put her in the red zone and let her catch jump balls 20 feet in the air. During week 5 against the Steelers, put her in at LB and let her take revenge for the female gender.
3. LB Vontaze Burfict
Eagles fans in 2008: "The Eagles won't draft DeSean Jackson, he's too small and has character concerns"
Eagles fans in 2011: "The Eagles won't draft Danny Watkins, he too old and very raw to the position"
Eagles fans in 2012: you know the story
If this doesn't pan out, we'll get at least good Evil Banner haiku post out of it.
4. OG Wild_Eagle
White Guy?- check
Gym Rat?- check
He fits all the criteria for a Howard Mudd offensive lineman. Expect Evan Mathis to be the LT and Wild Eagle to be the starting LG on opening day, striking fear into the hearts of opposing defensive tackles. He'll also finally have the opportunity to attend the next BGN Bowl.
5. K Freddy Cortez
Like his father, Rob Ryan will place a bounty on the team's opposing hispanic kicker employing his "three bullies". However, unlike his father Rob Ryan will manage to screw things up and end up costing his team unnecessary penalties.
6. SF Lebron James
I can finally declare that Philadelphia has acquired an NBA superstar in his prime, who isn't washed up or has any injury issues. Plus his return to Cleveland will take a lot of media attention, causing people to forget all of that "dog pound stuff" ,alleviating the jokes on Mike Vick
6. Mentor James Kempski
Well, it looks like Asante Samuel will stay in Philadelphia due to his over inflated ego fueled by the writing of a particular journalist. I believe all men should have the opportunity to rectify their mistakes. Sometimes in life leadership is more important than ability. Imagine this- It's week 17 and the Eagles are fighting for a playoff birth. Giants have a 3rd-5 , with a 3 point lead with less than 2 minutes left on the clock. The Eagles need to make a stop to get the ball back and have a chance to win. All throughout the game Hakeem Nicks has been abusing Asante Samuel with fakes and broken tackles. Asante is upset, broken, and discouraged. JimmyK walks up to him and whispers in his ear- "Hey Asante, you're still a good CB". Asante is inspired and makes the game winning pick 6 on that play.
6. LB Joey Ehrmann
Our future MIKE. He'll have a good game against the Giants. He'll get 10 tackles, giving Andy the confidence to cut DeMeco and have Joey be the new MIKE in 2013.
Guys, this is my first fanpost, so please don't make fun of me.