As we've learned this week, DeSean Jackson can't even say the most benign and positive things without certain members of the media responding with faux outrage and fake incredulity.

And even when he doesn't say exactly what they hoped he would, they'll just cut his statement up to say what they like. So I figured we'd try and help them out. Here's what DeSean Jackson told Mike Missanelli on 97.5 The Fanatic this week after being asked about his expectations for 2012.

"I just wanna go out there and just have a fun year and just enjoy it with my teammates and just win, man. And as long we're doing that and we're having fun regardless of what my numbers come to at the end of the year, as long as we win and we get to where we need to get to, everything else is set in stone."

What a selfish, immature jerk right? No? You mean he comes off pretty nice and humble there? Well, that doesn't fit into our pre-written narrative and preconceived notions of him. So let's cut it up and make it sound more like the person they all seem to think DeSean is.