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Things I Most Want the Next Head Coach To Do. or. Things I've lived without for over 10 Effing Years!

--> Balanced running game. Every game. Over the entire season. Every season. And make a big element of it the Power Run game. Keep the stretch in there though, Shady kills it on that play. Brown/McCoy may have the chance to be the eagles' best duo ever, we will know much more after Monday night about Brown, but I'll go on record right now as saying that I've seen something special in a couple runs this year. A glimmer of something almost Bo Jackson-esque with his pure athleticism.

-->Hurry-up offence. Make scoring within the final two minutes a point of pride for this offence. We may have lost the superbowl because of this ridiculous weakness.

-->Respect for timeouts... So wait. Timeouts and an adequate hurry-up? I'd shit with joy.

-->Clear-headed and unwavering situational awareness. 1st and goal from the 1? Just run it 4 times you knob. 2 minutes left in a blowout? Get your franchise player out of the game you Mormon.

These things aren't necessarily the most important things our next Coach will do, but if he masters these things, I'll be shit-stained for days because of the joyousness.

and one more thing he should do...

--> Smoke some weed. Let's have a coach with some really creative ideas.

And a few of Andy's keeper qualities?

--> contempt for the media. Increase it in my opinion. If I ever had the chance to say something to John Gonzalez in front of a camera it'd be a bad day for him. I'd be cool with sports like Jimmy and Jason though. Good sports they seem those two.

--> Fanny Pack. Nothing says "I'm the man in charge here" like a fanny pack.

--> Mormonism. I know Andy only joined the church for some dame, but still, nothing says "I'm the man with the plan" like following a church who's founder's plan was to create a church so that he could have as many 13 year old wives as possible.

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