Sorry for the delay to those of you who continuously read my entries (thanks, mom and dad). Life happens, stress at a job with mediocre pay, debt, soul-searching, all that good crap.
Anyways, I'm back in my own little therapist's patient chair and ready to vent. I feel like I'm finally ready to come clean about something that has been eating at me from the inside out for a long time. It's something that's haunted me for years, and I feel comfortable with sharing it with you all.
"I hope that (the fans) don’t quit on us and just continue to believe because we’re going to fight until the end" - Brandon Boykin.
This is the latest entry in rookie cornerback Brandon Boykin's blog on the Philadelphia Eagles website. While every part of me wants to believe Boykin, the realist in me is having trouble with that. How many times have we heard this from other Eagles? Not just the current roster, but in years past as well. A player states how much fight their teammates have left, or how they promise fans this and promise fans that.
The joke here (that might offend some of you, to which I say, get a sense of humor) is that this is an abusive relationship. So many "experts", as well as other fan bases, believe that we treat our team unfairly. That we are rude beyond reason. That we are "the worst fans in football". Well, to those masses, I'd like to give you the story from our point of view.
One minute, we're celebrating a heart-stopper in Philadelphia with an incredible win against the New York Giants, and the next we're blank-faced with our heads in our hands wondering what the hell happened. It's as simple as that.
As far as I can remember, we have consistently been told about how the Eagles will do better than they did their previous year; how they have lofty goals to bring the fans what they so rightly deserve. Yet year in and year out we're left with nothing except heartbreak and hopes that slowly dissolved into painful memories. It may not be physically harmful, but dammit all if it doesn't emotionally screw with us. Most, not all, but most of us have even fell for it time and time again. We tell ourselves how good this team can be if we just keep believing. If we keep showing that we love our Eagles, they'll reward us. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret a single thing about being an Eagles fan, bad times or good. In fact, these low moments are what makes us stronger as a fan base, and whether the world likes it or not, the best damn fans in the NFL. But how much more can we honestly take before we show this organization just how badly we really want just one damn Super Bowl? Boycotting the games? Selling back merchandise? Burning it even? They all sound like pretty outrageous solutions, but after Sunday, and hell, the 2011 season, it's tough to think of any other kind of reaction.
Tight end Brent Celek is a fan favorite for a reason: "If I were the fans, I'd be pissed off."
Well Brent, we are. There's no other way to say it.
We have loved this team since its birth. My father loved this team since he was able to say its name. All of us, in every sense of the phrase, bleed green. That's why it's literally sickening to see the team play games like that. I'm not kidding. Literally unable to eat or drink (non-alcoholic beverages, at least).
Why. WHY. WHY is it that almost every time someone, be it Eagles media or otherwise, bring up that the Lions run game is average at best, or that they haven't won in Philly since 1986, or something to that note, that the EXACT FRIGGIN' OPPOSITE HAPPENS?!
Phew. I'm sorry. I got a little carried away there. I'm honestly not here to give my input into what could help this team. I honestly don't care right now. I'm sure I'll jump right back into this team's arms with the promise of a better tomorrow once the hype for Falcons-Eagles rolls around, but for now, I'm distancing myself. I'm bettering myself. I'm not going to let them hurt me. Not right now. Not today.
I'm going to let these guys beat themselves up. This time, it won't be on the field. Until they truly show me they're changed men, I'm not going to believe a damn thing they say to me.
This is starting to go down a weird road so I'll end on this. Once again, Celek saying it best: "We're not going to be a playoff team. We're not going to be a contender for the Super Bowl. Enough talking about it, let's just do it."
I've been hurt before, guys. I don't know if I can go through it again.