Futility
by EvilBanner on Jan 31, 2012 8:24 PM EST
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Six and ten, I think.
Good news? Not at NovaCare
Castillo is back.
Life as Andy
Look at me, Jeffery.
Results are mediocre...
And I'm coach for life.
Banner's musings
Capology's fun.
Playing fantasy football
With Jeffery's money!
Little Howie
I don't know football.
How did I get this fun job?
Rainbows are special.
Castillo
I'm a stupid man
I can't coordinate socks
Much less a defense.
Marty
It is third and one.
This is a passing down.
Fuck it. We go deep.
McCoy
God Bless you, Shady
You and Maclin and Trent Cole.
We root for you guys.
Prediction...
Losses. Injuries
Five and eleven sounds right.
Reid won't lose his job.
Seasons...
Status quo again.
On Sunday's the Linc is full.
Business is booming.
83 comments
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Comments
Haikus!
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
wow
I never knew EB was a poet.
I'm great like Gatsby.
by Clint Eastwood on Jan 31, 2012 8:38 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Great things are often born out of pain and misery.
I'm all-in for the 2012 season !
Dwight Howard is coming to Philly. Maybe. Probably not. But we can at least hope, that's all we have.
by Eagladelphia on Jan 31, 2012 9:00 PM EST up reply actions
he's even
been quoted by an outside artcle. Anybody have that link? I can’t find it
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Jan 31, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions
still couldn't find the article but his first 2 haiku's
here ( http://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2010/4/1/1401327/great-news-for-joe-banner-fans ) were used in a story about Banner signing an extension. Some of his finest work.
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Jan 31, 2012 10:24 PM EST up reply actions
Bravo Sir
Nnamdi has his continent, Asante has his no fly zone, and Mr. Rodgers has his neighborhood.
A gentleman and a scholar. Here's to you, good sir.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
There's your problem right there...That's a Sandhill Crane...
You need to find you some Eagles…
"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
I think you are pretty funny
And I love your wit. But seriously, get the fuck over it.
El Donkerino (if you're not into the whole brevity thing).
I miss me some Brian Dawkins :(
by El Donkerino on Jan 31, 2012 9:20 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
The Apologist
In his new FredEx jersey
Loves him some Andy!
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Jan 31, 2012 9:24 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
EB is even responding back in poetry, this last season impacted him more than I thought, the damage might be irreversible…
I'm all-in for the 2012 season !
Dwight Howard is coming to Philly. Maybe. Probably not. But we can at least hope, that's all we have.
by Eagladelphia on Jan 31, 2012 9:30 PM EST up reply actions
He has been doing this forever though
Soooo no?
"There is no struggle too vast, no odds too overwhelming, for even should we fail, should we fall, we will know that we have lived.--"Anomander Rake, Son of Darkness
Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger. -Glen Cook The Black Company
by Udalango on Jan 31, 2012 9:38 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
He seems to have gone past the point of no return…
I'm all-in for the 2012 season !
Dwight Howard is coming to Philly. Maybe. Probably not. But we can at least hope, that's all we have.
by Eagladelphia on Jan 31, 2012 9:47 PM EST up reply actions
I can not agree
But respect where it is due
O master of haiku
Formerly DeSean10
36-5-20-JJ -- Forever Bleeding Green
Team Kuechly, J. Jenkins, Iloka
by AnthroEagle on Jan 31, 2012 9:40 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Bitch… there’s six syllables in that last line. Hence why I’m not the master.
Formerly DeSean10
36-5-20-JJ -- Forever Bleeding Green
Team Kuechly, J. Jenkins, Iloka
Juan is your hero.
I understand your anguish.
I pray for your soul.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Jan 31, 2012 9:45 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
No, not my hero
Got to roll with the punches
And hope for the best
Formerly DeSean10
36-5-20-JJ -- Forever Bleeding Green
Team Kuechly, J. Jenkins, Iloka
by AnthroEagle on Jan 31, 2012 9:51 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Does Castillo suck?
Is he just a late bloomer?
I lack the answers.
Tons of arguments
By emotional people.
We still do not know.
But I know one thing.
All of the Castillo posts
Are fucking stupid.
RIP Jim Johnson, best ever.
"WHY IS THIS PINK-HAIRED BITCH A CAR?!"
by Imp on Jan 31, 2012 9:58 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
The Status Quo Stays
No Accountability
Great Meh-xpectations
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
This year we’re all in
Promoted Juan Castillo
Doomed right from the start
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
EB speaks the truth
In this well done FanPost here
Automatic rec
Follow @PhillyFollower
Writer at Iggles Nest
by PhiladelphiaEagles on Jan 31, 2012 10:43 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Juan works very hard
Twenty two hour days all the time
Clearly took their toll
People need their rest
Hallucinations occur
Only explanation
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
hmmmm
4-8-5 not good
followed with 5-7-6
A D minus grade
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
You’re a bad teacher.
Juan (1) works (1) very (2) hard (1)
Twenty (2) two (1) hour (1) days (1) all (1) the (1) time (1)
Clearly (2) took (1) their (1) toll (1)
People (2) need (1) their (1) rest (1)
Hallucinations (5) occur (2)
Only (2) explanation (3)
I did mess up line #2 on the first one, that did have 8 syllables. Damn. I changed that thing like 5 times and I guess I lost track of my syllable count.
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
lol
I did miss very
but ex/pla/nat/ion (that’s 4)
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Feb 1, 2012 11:26 PM EST up reply actions
Dammit.
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
Keep counting — one…two…
Three…three…six…seven……damnit.
Haikus are too tough.
by Clyde Simmons 96 on Feb 2, 2012 1:17 PM EST up reply actions
This is kind of fun.
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
Hit my baby
You sick fuck.
Formerly DeSean10
36-5-20-JJ -- Forever Bleeding Green
Team Kuechly, J. Jenkins, Iloka
by AnthroEagle on Jan 31, 2012 11:44 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Negative toolbag fruitcups
Listen, the season didnt begin.. Im calling a 12 and 4 next year.. Look at teams that went 8 and 8… G_strings,packers,saints all went to the bowl… juan is fine..i rather have juan then a nother new scheme..bowles is a great additiion I think he will turn into our d.c. If juan messes up the first 4 games.. Buy washburn n bowles assisting you…all he has to do is listen to them n pkay asomugha in man to man…
Draft a solid lb,dt,qb,wr,ot
We honestly need to looj at more options instead of cooper n avant..i want more quality…i like them both but I want more physical red zone targets…
Trade asante and j jackson and do wok in this draft..pkus a solid ss and a vetran lb in f.a. And we got a monster team….mark my words…vick is gonna bug in 2012 season just lije eli did this year after a turnover seasin
by YungGunz on Feb 1, 2012 12:29 AM EST via mobile reply actions
Look at teams that went 8 and 8… G_strings,packers,saints all went to the bowl
The ‘00 Bills (’01 record: 3-13), the ‘06 Rams (’07 record: 3-13), the ‘08 Redskins (’09 record: 4-12), ‘09 Panthers (’10 record: 1-15)…
RIP Jim Johnson, best ever.
"WHY IS THIS PINK-HAIRED BITCH A CAR?!"
by Imp on Feb 1, 2012 1:02 AM EST up reply actions
You don't really think
That our players are bad enough to have us go 3-13 next year, do you? We have the talent to win, so what does one coach with a year’s experience now have to do to make us that bad? If he regresses that much, yes, I’m for his firing.
I don’t feel that firing him after one year where he was basically thrown into an “all-in” situation is a good move. If he doesn’t show anything this year, go ahead and fire him. But yeah, he definitely needs a second chance with a full offseason before I pass a final judgement on him.
That’s why I’m not an apologist or any other bullshit like that. I don’t think it was a good hire at the time, but I at least have more patience than half the people on here and realize that these things take time. Maybe it works out this year. If it does, great! If not, yeah, Juan was a bad idea and he’s as good as gone.
Rec'd
I love this greatly
Go Big Blue in Super Bowl
Ha I’m an asshole
"We will not be denied." - Antrel Rolle
by BigBlueIntervention on Feb 1, 2012 9:33 AM EST reply actions
VaGiants lose big
Eli weeps like a women
Celebration here
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Feb 1, 2012 4:54 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
heh
Giants beat them down,
ELIte will get MVP,
Art thou pissed, brother?
"We will not be denied." - Antrel Rolle
by BigBlueIntervention on Feb 1, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions
Defense will revert
Brady has all day to throw
Surgery ensues
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Feb 1, 2012 11:29 PM EST up reply actions
Battle haiku
Nice.
Spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti!
Still waiting for the Eagles to Bring it Home for Jerome.
Pass rush in full form
DL turns Brady to paste
To eat in hoagies
"We will not be denied." - Antrel Rolle
by BigBlueIntervention on Feb 2, 2012 9:10 AM EST up reply actions
corey webster sees
wes welker run a slant route
grasps at air, Touchdown
linebackers are bad
make Eagle’s look like all pro’s
who’s got Gronkowski?
we may very well
see a single game record
for tight end TD’s
I could continue
but your haiku can’t compete
like Giants sunday
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
*woman
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
danke
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Feb 1, 2012 11:27 PM EST up reply actions
Eli is a bitch.
Now elite—but still a bitch.
Yes, a sissy bitch.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Feb 1, 2012 6:17 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Well played, Master Bard,
But rather have elite bitch
Than Casey Matthews….
"We will not be denied." - Antrel Rolle
by BigBlueIntervention on Feb 1, 2012 9:44 PM EST up reply actions
Casey Matthews sucks
He banks on his brother’s name
But he’s a pussy.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
EB whines nonstop
Armchair GM’s know it all
Jaun will be better
Can’t wait for season
Defense will be much improved
Haters will eat crow
by Wokjab on Feb 1, 2012 9:45 AM EST reply actions 3 recs
can’t rec on my phone
otherwise i surely would
excellently said
Nope.
by bigmeanie08 on Feb 1, 2012 4:56 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
Fuck this nonsense twice.
Castillo is a moron.
Sadness awaits us.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Feb 1, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
When I die, I hope I have something half as beautiful on my tombstone.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
Shh, you can find love too if you just open your heart and mind.
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
He's just getting salty, because we've been picking on his dream man.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
Goddamn
I sure hope no other teams fans read our Fanposts, otherwise they may think we are a bunch of sucidals over here. Get the fuck over it already and stop acting like bitches fighting over a peice of candy.
''All men who feel any power of joy in battle, know what it is like when the wolf rises in the heart.'' -Roosevelt
by TricksterG on Feb 1, 2012 10:26 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
Hope is squashed quickly
Incompetence supported
In Juan Castillo
I guess the glory that was the Philadelphia Eagles off-season counter-acts the dump that was the Flyers. Hmph.
by Lip-Out on Feb 1, 2012 1:11 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Eight win Eight Losses
and yet warmth still fills my heart
Swept those damned cowboys!
by milroyigglesfan on Feb 1, 2012 3:04 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
rec'd
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
also
try not to be dumb
“on sunday’s the linc is full”
what does sunday own?
Nope.
by bigmeanie08 on Feb 1, 2012 5:00 PM EST via Android app reply actions
Oh lovers of Reid…
Picking on a minor point
Like their fat hero.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Feb 1, 2012 6:16 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Fuck Haiku or whatever you call it. I never understood why people were so fascinated by that shit./
Formerly known as The Pied Piper
This shit is awesome.
It is a way Eagles fans
Remove their madness.
Pick it up yourself.
Express and respond with passion.
You will be surprised.
RIP Jim Johnson, best ever.
"WHY IS THIS PINK-HAIRED BITCH A CAR?!"
by Imp on Feb 1, 2012 7:47 PM EST up reply actions
A question, I ask
Why you heff to be so mad?
You real, real mad bro
Follow @PhillyFollower
Writer at Iggles Nest
by PhiladelphiaEagles on Feb 1, 2012 8:06 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Mad about haiku?
Get a bus pass to Trenton
And buy a hooker.
A soothing blowjob
Will tame your now angry heart
And bring you some peace.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Feb 1, 2012 8:34 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
So what are you guys planning for your Super Bowl parties?
Wings?..Chili?..lotsa Beer?
"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
What sort of food is appropriate for watching 44 douches wrestle?
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
by KByars on Feb 1, 2012 6:35 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Hahahaha!!!!
Is that what your going to do??…Who’s hosting your douche party?…Elton John?..Do you gather in a ring around the wrestlers and make bets?..Do you at least have a working TV to observe the Super Bowl Champion Giants?…
"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
Brain-damaged babies
Washington Redskins coaches
Things smarter then Juan
I guess the glory that was the Philadelphia Eagles off-season counter-acts the dump that was the Flyers. Hmph.
by Lip-Out on Feb 1, 2012 6:29 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
A box of dogshit
Baking in the summer heat
Is also smarter.
The bad news? Castillo's back.
The good news? With the 7-9 season coming up and all the Eagles games being played at 1:00 (and in the bag for the opponent by 2:30 at the latest), we'll all have plenty of time to rake the leaves and whack off. Stock up on your Astro Glide, ladies!
by EvilBanner on Feb 1, 2012 8:35 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
rug hug
If you dont like Big Red, then F#%@ You!
-Ricky Bobby
by GreenInBaltimore on Feb 2, 2012 10:13 AM EST up reply actions
This thread is awesome
sorry no haiku, let me know when we all spit our internet 16s though.
Still waiting for the Eagles to Bring it Home for Jerome.
I got you
but always seem to go over 16. lol
VaGiants/they’re sheep being led to lions/
New York denies it/like 2007’s revived, yet/
that shit has no relevance/to the current events/
think their current defense/isn’t a worry for them
it doesn’t occur to their fans/no Spags, Burress nor Strahan/
Baker Eli’s still the same man/turnovers from whole grain bran/
Giants fans walk around, chest out, screaming look/
failing to realize a fuckin helmet catch isn’t in the playbook/
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
" Lifes a bitch, but God forbid the bitch divorce me" Nas
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
by Talon Talent on Feb 2, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
If I have one wish
The Eagles win 19 games
Dream on, dumb sombitch
by Live from Quahog on Feb 2, 2012 2:01 PM EST reply actions
ode to EB
no haiku for me
do not care for it at all
no room to profane
Evil Banner though
one of the few who gets it
he knows “times to go”
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