FanPost

The UnPro Bowl: An Immodest Proposal

[Note by JasonB, 01/29/12 10:41 PM EST ] There's no doubt that this would be more compelling than the actual Pro Bowl.

Watching the sloppy, pointless Pro Bowl I suddenly had a great idea: the UnPro Bowl. Just like the Pro Bowl, fans vote for the worst starters in the league at every position, and they face each other in an AFC/NFC matchup. Just like the Pro Bowl, the winning team gets paid a big bonus.

What's the appeal? Since these players are presumably the worst starters in the league, they probably need the money. They'd work hard. Well, some of them. It would also serve as a real test of which conference is better that year. And it would be hilarious.

Other rules:
  • Coaches would come from the team in each conference with the fewest wins, assuming he hadn't been fired.
  • It would be held in whatever city is rumored to be losing their team. Tiebreaker goes to the oldest stadium. If no team is moving, it goes to the city with the most blackouts.
  • The lowest-rated major network broadcasts the game.
  • The booth team would be Jon Gruden with Joe Theismann and Matt Millen. Vegas would lay odds on how long it took Gruden to stop being relentlessly positive. If the network has to bleep him or he's obviously drunk, you'd get rich with a decent-sized bet.
  • To encourage people to buy tickets, fans would be allowed to throw food onto the field at any player or coach.
  • Also to encourage ticket sales, the losing team would have to run a gauntlet of fans with paintball guns to leave the stadium.

Any other rule ideas? Nominees for starters?

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