It's Been 13ys & I still Haven't Had Sex With My GF
by Rob91 on Jan 24, 2012 3:30 PM EST
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PrintEvery New Year's she promises we're finally going to do it but something always comes up. I mean, she's a very good girl. I'm never in shock or surprised by her actions because she is so predictable. That's do in part to us being together for so long. However, I'm starting to believe that we're never going to have sex. Every other Sunday i go to bed early with a sever case of the blue balls.
My girlfriend saw that I was growing angry and was close to the point of losing interest. To keep me from going permanently flaccid, one summer she went out and bought a lingerie set. However, she f@$#ed up and thought that putting her bra on as panties was sexy! FAIL!
See now their is always the thought that if we break up she will have sex with her new boyfriend immediately while i subject myself to heavy petting every February. That, without a doubt will be the biggest slap in the face.(however u want to look at it) Moreover, their is the ideology that I may never find another girlfriend that was as GOOD as her.
What if the IMPOSSIBLE happen? What if I were to find a phenomenal girlfriend who satisfies me both sexually and emotionally? What if we were have chemistry? What if I FINALLY hit it!!
That's exactly what it feels like to still have Andy Reid as a coach. Yes, I know, I know; he's going to be the coach another year and we just have to deal with it. Yeah, old news. Coughlin has less GLORIOUS division titles but more SB appearances and a ring. But we, my fellow Eagles fans,are in for another year of beating off....and going to bed early. "Never ever gonna get it". Just saying.
It just bothers me that Giants are currently better than us in almost every aspect.
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Seriously?
This? This is the first thing that you have to post on the site?
''All men who feel any power of joy in battle, know what it is like when the wolf rises in the heart.'' -Roosevelt
by TricksterG on Jan 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Awkward...
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
Are you proposing that we rape Andy?
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
by KByars on Jan 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST reply actions 13 recs
"It's time."
The Curse of Lombardi
Iggles Nest
"Stats are for fantasy and losers. Winning is an attitude."
by d-jackfan10 on Jan 24, 2012 4:03 PM EST up reply actions 8 recs
hahahahaha
Formerly number5
RIP JJ
"Make sure you bone her in the missionary position (you on top) and right when you put it in her tell her in a microphony voice that "The Eagle has landed," and before you blow your load start waving your hands like you’re flying and screech like an eagle." - DickMuffin
Fear Tebus(Tim 3:16)!!!
by HawaiianGreen on Jan 24, 2012 8:55 PM EST up reply actions
"Can't Wait!!"
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
-Awarded by Number5
Wild_Eagles’ Heart is scarier than Hell, you lose. - d-jackfan10 at the troll known as vicksuck!
Wow!
That gives a whole new meaning to “Time’s yours”
Let’s just hope we don’t have to start with an injury report.
by UnclaimedFright on Jan 26, 2012 10:18 PM EST up reply actions
LMFAO
If what you say about your relationship with your gf is true.
Are you Amish?
No even Elam would have bent her over in the milk house by now.
I grew up in Pa. but my job has taken me deep into the swamps of louisiana where all you here is "who dat, who dat" and on clear nights when the wind is gently blowing from the northwest you can hear the wimpers and sobs of jerry and his herd of cowgirls.
by eagleflownsouth on Jan 24, 2012 4:06 PM EST reply actions
RUMSPRINGA!!!!!!
Astra Inclinant, Non Necessitant
by EagleGreeninMD on Jan 24, 2012 4:13 PM EST up reply actions
She's cheating
gang bangs with strangers in the dark. Who cares what she does when shes gone. She’s now someone elses problem. Also you let her go bc she doesn’t put out for you. Find a new slam hole and lets get that SB!
At least one more year of Andy and Juan. If they don't win it all they both better be gone!
No way Eagles draft a LB in the first round 2012.
We will see if Spags was in the right place at the right time in the Gmens SB run. Or was that the fluke year and he really is just mediocre.
by MightyJoeBanner on Jan 24, 2012 4:33 PM EST reply actions
Derp
I had alien women suck me off when god said let there be light i turned it the fuck off I'll leave your body drenched in the blood of all your ancestors
You'll never be at peace, like the souls of child molestors I'll cut you and bless your festering wounds with alcohol This is the final call, for all the rappers that wanna brawl Immortal Technique, the wrong motherfucker to diss
'Cause I allow God to let you motherfuckers existI got a Black Panther mentality with a spic fist You don't want beef with people like me so don't pretend
I'll resurrect your aborted baby and kill it again You get no props in hip-hop like feminine men You ain't hardcore, I'll smack the shit out of your mother You wanna be gutter? I'll leave you laid out in the street Signed yours truly, the motherfucking Immortal Technique
by So. Cal Swag on Jan 24, 2012 5:12 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Masturbation??
Helps make things realllly easy.
Dear Lord baby Jesus.
Formely eaglefan20<<<<banned
by platonicphillyfan20 on Jan 24, 2012 5:37 PM EST reply actions
Masturbation
would be rooting for another team in this case hahahaha
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
- Joe Theismann
by FloridaEagle on Jan 24, 2012 5:45 PM EST up reply actions
...
I think everyone should be bilateral coordinated.
by BIBTD on Jan 24, 2012 9:23 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
You know, that’s not a cat looking down a ceiling but out of a wall with a crooked camera angle.
/ruining pictures.
RIP Jim Johnson, best ever.
"WHY IS THIS PINK-HAIRED BITCH A CAR?!"
Welcome to my background.
"Learning to eat soup with a knife"
by h2o_34_35_44 on Jan 25, 2012 8:43 AM EST up reply actions
Wait
Bottom left…..are those…..teeth??
"I’m the real macaroni you cheesy b@#$%, I’m demonic with the Kraft" - Eminem
"Don't bother getting married - just find a woman you hate and buy her a house." - some anonymous great man
Those people need serious help. lol
"I’m the real macaroni you cheesy b@#$%, I’m demonic with the Kraft" - Eminem
"Don't bother getting married - just find a woman you hate and buy her a house." - some anonymous great man
They went for realism. Right, Uda?
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a clock.
I am the proud target of temper tantrums.
I hate you
"There is no struggle too vast, no odds too overwhelming, for even should we fail, should we fall, we will know that we have lived.--"Anomander Rake, Son of Darkness
Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger. -Glen Cook The Black Company
Are the blue ones
some sort of alien whore vag?
Being an Eagles fan is like being friend-zoned by the girl you love
Since he's comparing sex
to Andy Reid, I think he’d like the green “butthole” one at the bottom. Just like he’s doing Big Red.
I love that it takes its time to go through the whole process.
’tis a thing of beauty.
Clear eyes, full bologna sandwiches!
Yes.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
-Awarded by Number5
Wild_Eagles’ Heart is scarier than Hell, you lose. - d-jackfan10 at the troll known as vicksuck!
could it be another fake account by Dsmith
by Mr.electric10 on Jan 24, 2012 7:38 PM EST up reply actions
Andy Reid is a terrible coach.
And this isn’t a bad analogy.
God Damn you, Andy Reid.
The fat queen has failed us again. Reid must go.
This will help you
Formerly number5
RIP JJ
"Make sure you bone her in the missionary position (you on top) and right when you put it in her tell her in a microphony voice that "The Eagle has landed," and before you blow your load start waving your hands like you’re flying and screech like an eagle." - DickMuffin
Fear Tebus(Tim 3:16)!!!
by HawaiianGreen on Jan 25, 2012 1:25 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Everybody do the dougieee
Dear Lord baby Jesus.
Formely eaglefan20<<<<banned
by platonicphillyfan20 on Jan 25, 2012 2:15 AM EST up reply actions
The comments alone
Are worth the rec.
"Learning to eat soup with a knife"
The important question here is...
You’ve been dating for 13 years and you have popped the question yet?
"This team (Philadelphia Eagles) gives me the best chance of winning a Super Bowl."
-Michael Vick #7
The real question is
you really fucking the Giants are better then us in almost ever aspect? What is there record against us again? Oh yea 1-7 the last 4 years. Go fuck yourself and see if that helps your blue balls
4 yrs seems random.
81 – 73 all time vs Eagles.
I may not be the most noble of men but in a town of lepers, im the one with the most fingers.
Giant LB'zz SUCK!! Mark Herzlich, Jacquian Williams,...Maybe .. Sadly this has been modified.
Get back in your closet!
I’ve been a lurker on Bleeding Green for years and this post caused me to sign-up just so I could say, WTF?
I laughed.
So you are only going to say wtf and leave? Asshole.
I think everyone should be bilateral coordinated.
I call Shenanigans!
Shenanigans ! Shenanigans !
You are banned from Stampede Blue.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.
Hi CFHTim. You're trolling yet another SB Nation blog. Since you've been banned from several other SB Nation blogs, you don't get a warning. You get banned. If you want to get unbanned, email BBS and state your case for re-admission.
Is that the resturant
with all the goofy shit on the walls?
''All men who feel any power of joy in battle, know what it is like when the wolf rises in the heart.'' -Roosevelt
$40 says this is a Giants fan from BBV
"If I can get you to think twice, I'm in your head."
-Brian Dawkins
The SOPA and PIPA bills must be eradicated! Contact your local Representative and/or Senator. Spread the word! NO CENSORSHIP OF THE INTERNET!
another $10 says its me.
"We will not be denied." - Antrel Rolle
by BigBlueIntervention on Jan 26, 2012 9:16 AM EST up reply actions
However, I’m starting to believe that we’re never going to have sex. Every other Sunday i go to bed early with a sever case of the blue balls.
That’s exactly what it feels like to still have Andy Reid as a coach.
Seeing these two sentences in the same Fanpost makes me worry. When thinking about Andy Reid, the last thing that comes to mind is sex.
Go Eagles!
well done
I laughed. Good joke
The first Drauschak.
by birds'n'raiders on Jan 26, 2012 2:41 PM EST reply actions
I still read this...
MARK SANCHEZ HAD BETTER STATS THAN TEBOW.
So either Sanchez is better than " second coming " or you have to admit that Tebow is no good.
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