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It's Been 13ys & I still Haven't Had Sex With My GF

Every New Year's she promises we're finally going to do it but something always comes up. I mean, she's a very good girl. I'm never in shock or surprised by her actions because she is so predictable. That's do in part to us being together for so long. However, I'm starting to believe that we're never going to have sex. Every other Sunday i go to bed early with a sever case of the blue balls.


My girlfriend saw that I was growing angry and was close to the point of losing interest. To keep me from going permanently flaccid, one summer she went out and bought a lingerie set. However, she f@$#ed up and thought that putting her bra on as panties was sexy! FAIL!

See now their is always the thought that if we break up she will have sex with her new boyfriend immediately while i subject myself to heavy petting every February. That, without a doubt will be the biggest slap in the face.(however u want to look at it) Moreover, their is the ideology that I may never find another girlfriend that was as GOOD as her.

What if the IMPOSSIBLE happen? What if I were to find a phenomenal girlfriend who satisfies me both sexually and emotionally? What if we were have chemistry? What if I FINALLY hit it!!

That's exactly what it feels like to still have Andy Reid as a coach. Yes, I know, I know; he's going to be the coach another year and we just have to deal with it. Yeah, old news. Coughlin has less GLORIOUS division titles but more SB appearances and a ring. But we, my fellow Eagles fans,are in for another year of beating off....and going to bed early. "Never ever gonna get it". Just saying.

It just bothers me that Giants are currently better than us in almost every aspect.

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