Bears: Hey Jay, we know you've had a long offseason and all, but we still believe in you and are dedicated to giving you as much help as possible
If anyone of of you hate the bears as much as I do then you'll appreciate any form of Bear Bashing given the chance. I must share this awesome skit SN:Charlie Kelly came up with over at Acme Packing. Check it out after the jump.
Cutler: (Texting on phone, paying very little attention)
Angelo: Jay, did you hear me? I said we’re getting you some help. We picked up an offensive tackle in the draft and now we signed Marion Barber.
Cutler: Annoyed) Who?
Cutler: What? Yea, whatever…can’t you see I’m busy?
/Checks blood sugar
//Eats a cookie
Angelo: (Sigh) I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this. Jay, we’re gonna have to let you go. Your attitude and lack of effort have become too much for us to handle. We need players motivated to win. Have your locker cleaned out by tomorrow, you’re heading to Oakland.
Cutler: Oakland? I can’t go there, their fans scare me. Besides, who are you gonna replace me with? I’m the first legitimate QB your pitiful team has had since that one asshole in the 80’s or something.
Angelo: Well, we’ve decided to go with…
Grossman: Sup, you insulin needing bitch! The sex cannon has arrived! Now get the hell out of my locker room you chinless mother fucker!
Angelo: You see Jay, we need someone who has the confidence and swagger to win.
Grossman: You’re god damn right Angelo, you worthless piece of shit. I’ll win alright, I’ll win all over your wife’s face. And even if I don’t, you bet your god damned ass, I’m gonna chuck that fucking ball as deep as I can and score some fucking trim afterwards.
Angelo: Right….so anyways Jay, I’m sure you understand that we needed to make this move and I wanna wish you the best of luck.
Cutler: (Swoops bangs out of eyes by throwing his head back) Whatever, I don’t need this team or you.
/Leaves in a huff
//Writes bad poetry on his blog
Grossman: What the fuck is Wilford Brimley’s problem?
Angelo: Eh, I’m not really sure. Anyways, it’s great to have you back Rex. Practice begins tomorrow at 10 am, I look forward to seeing you.
Grossman: Yea, fuck that. I’m going out to the bars so I can unleash the dragon. Just call me when the games start.