SB Nation Philly Editor's Pick
The Ghosts of '96
by EvilBanner on Jul 28, 2011 3:29 PM EDT
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PrintI remember it all so vividly...
The year was 1996 and the Eagles had come off a '95 season filled with promise. Don't get me wrong, Ray Rhodes wasn't the best coach you'll ever find, but he took a team of relatively undertalented players (Charlie Garner, Rodney Peete) and got 10-6 out of them. Ricky Watters rushed for 1273 yards that season (that's back when a running game was considered an integral component of an Eagles offense) and the Philly faithful thought that there was no where to go but up.
The draft would be key.
The 1996 draft started well. In the first round, we selected Jermane Mayberry, who would serve us faithfully and well for years to come (including a pro bowl nod in 2002--nice work, big fella!). In round 2, we chose Brian Dawkins, who served as the heart and soul of a championship caliber defense for years and who continues to represent all that is best about Philadelphia sports through his passion, intensity and all around awesomeness. God Damn, Uncle Ray. This is a great fucking day!
But then an icy wind swept through Madison Square Garden as Commissioner Tagliabue strode to the microphone to announce that the Eagles had selected their quarterback of the future...Bobby Hoying from THE Ohio State University. We could have not known it at the time, but it was a decision that would plunge the Eagles into irrelevancy and cost Ray Rhodes his job as his weak-armed "project" became synonomous with "failure" at the intersection of Broad and Pattison.
Fast forward to 2007 and another seemingly tranquil time in Eagles history. The fattest man alive led us to a 10-6 record and we thought that if we wisely used our picks to fill some legitimate holes on the defensive side of the ball, we'd be back in the Super Bowl and exorcise the demons of the past.
How wrong we were.
Instead of addressing anything resembling a pressing issue at the time, the fat man decided to play it cute and draft yet another weak-armed project with gaudy college stats. We screamed at our televisions when we traded our first. The crescendo of boos reached an all time high when we first heard the name "Kevin Kolb." Then all was silent. And we knew.
Bobby was back. And this time, shit was going to get real. He was back to finish what he started. Not content with the 3-13 season he last delivered, he would plunge the Eagles into a shitstorm of losing that would render the franchise irrelevant and the Linc abandoned.
Our darkest fears came true when the flaccid armed weakling lamely attempted a forward pass against the Ravens. Ed Reed ate Kolb's lunch, shit in his mouth and then had carnal knowledge of his mother as he made the longest interception return in the history of the NFL look like business as usual against Captain Checkdown. It was going to be a long decade of losing.
But then a miracle happened. After Donovan got traded and Kolb got the starting job, he actually strode onto the field as if he were going to play football. He came, he saw, and our Savior, William Clay Matthews III (whom we thanked by drafting his brother and giving him a starting spot), knocked him out of our lives once and for all.
It's morning again in Philadelphia. The birds are singing, the sky is clear and it's time for some motherfucking football.
Good luck, Arizona. Or should I say, I hope Andrew Luck is good, Arizona?
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our Savior, William Clay Matthews III
That part made me bust out laughing.
"truTV is like BET for white folks." - Chuck
ditto
I hope I am wrong, but Kolb is a four-letter word.
by Cowboy KILLER on Jul 29, 2011 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Did Bobby Hoying bring back a former 1st round pick RCB who is a physically perfect specimen to play CB, and also addresses this defense’s biggest weakness, and a 2nd rounder in a trade? No? Just checking.
I sincerely hope KK turns into a stud, Pro Bowler in ARI (after next year of course, that pick would be icing on the cake if it is in the 30’s) and you have to eat your words, although I doubt you are man enough to do so.
by The Reddgie on Jul 28, 2011 3:38 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I honestly can’t even joke about Kolb ever doing anything productive with his career. Some people just don’t have it, and he doesn’t.
He's slick, he's quick, he's Michael Vick.
I’m miles ahead of you two hacks when it comes to online toughness and throwing down from behind my computer.- DickMuffin
Trump 2012
I'm headed over to Revenge of the Birds...
Q: What do a leaky tampon and Sean McDermott's defense have in common?
A: They are equally ineffective in the red zone.
"If Roger Goodell was on fire and I had to piss on him to put him out, I wouldn't do it...I hate him and will never respect him."
--The often wrong (but right in this instance) James Harrison.
I guess it would be nice.
But it ain’t gonna happen.
Q: What do a leaky tampon and Sean McDermott's defense have in common?
A: They are equally ineffective in the red zone.
"If Roger Goodell was on fire and I had to piss on him to put him out, I wouldn't do it...I hate him and will never respect him."
--The often wrong (but right in this instance) James Harrison.
“exorcise the demons of the past.” That got me.
I dislike Kolb more than the next guy, but to be fair to him the Ravens ate McNabb’s lunch that game as well.
But Hallelujah, it should be commenced a holiday this day for all of Philadelphia Eagles sports fans.
"I'd like to be remembered by Flyers fans as a player who played through injuries, and left it all on the ice." -CaptainMRichie18
lol EB
never cease to amaze us lol
"I think pro athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create."- Daniel Tosh
If Football Had A Church , Brian Dawkins Would Be My Preacher. -NPK
Creator of "Jibta" - NPK
"i know talent .. the eagles do not " – JIBTA
Lmao I waited for this, and I don’t think kolb is that bad. I’m at work laughing and people looking like wtf lol
by jjrome on Jul 28, 2011 3:55 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
oh my god dude
i can not remember who it was , hopefully they will come to light
but i remember something happening last season where they were at work and screamed the most hilarious possible thing and had every looking at him …. dammit i wish i could remember please tell me someone remembers who this was and what they said
"I think pro athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create."- Daniel Tosh
If Football Had A Church , Brian Dawkins Would Be My Preacher. -NPK
Creator of "Jibta" - NPK
"i know talent .. the eagles do not " – JIBTA
by NorthPhillyKid on Jul 28, 2011 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Thanks Jason.
I have a good feeling about this season.
Q: What do a leaky tampon and Sean McDermott's defense have in common?
A: They are equally ineffective in the red zone.
"If Roger Goodell was on fire and I had to piss on him to put him out, I wouldn't do it...I hate him and will never respect him."
--The often wrong (but right in this instance) James Harrison.
Rec'd
Week 10 cannot come fast enough.
"Don't 'O' me. This is a serious issue here."
-d-jackfan10
"The only game I play is football, and to me it's not a game."
-Jeremy Maclin
by McNabb2Maclin4Philly on Jul 28, 2011 4:15 PM EDT reply actions
I really really enjoyed this
Rec’d.
Anyone else think we’re going to be the fashionable pick to go to the SB?
"I'm 95% sure that 100% of what he says is wrong."
Eagles vs Jets or Eagles vs Texans if they get Nmadi will be the “hot” picks
AKA Detective Electric
"You got Lasik: NY Giants edition."-Udalango
"Definition of Explosive: The ability to score from anywhere, any position, at any point, at any time. In that case, the Eagles are the most explosive team in the NFL."- Big Blue Intervention
by Mr.electric10 on Jul 28, 2011 5:12 PM EDT up reply actions
Personally, I'm a vulgar fellah at times so
this was my favorite:
Our darkest fears came true when the flaccid armed weakling lamely attempted a forward pass against the Ravens. Ed Reed ate Kolb’s lunch, shit in his mouth and then had carnal knowledge of his mother as he made the longest interception return in the history of the NFL look like business as usual against Captain Checkdown. It was going to be a long decade of losing.
"I'm 95% sure that 100% of what he says is wrong."
Kudos, EB
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
by PhiladelphiaEagles on Jul 28, 2011 5:06 PM EDT reply actions
IMO, Kolb would have been atleast a solid QB. But I thought this was funny
by The Pied Piper on Jul 28, 2011 5:31 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
EB can you explain why...
I keep hearing the music from “The Sting” in my head.
I'm not drunk I'm just drinking.
is this tongue in cheek? I mean I know our wrs are shit, but….
"I tried to run him over but Eli had his big boy pads on and he kind of stopped me from getting in the end zone. The next time I’ll try to jump over his head.’’ - Asante Samuel
No he meant
when he got his first start he ended up getting concussed. he had mixed stats in releief duty so he never really got a straight solid chance.
"I will never have my best season," Brian Dawkins
Mike Vick is a piece of shit
We be journalizing, son.
by JimmyK on Jul 21, 2011 7:21 PM EDT
by Talon Talent on Jul 28, 2011 9:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, he was stuck behind that dope McNabb for like 3 years and caught a bad break with Vick coming into his own, but he probably wouldn’t have succeeded here, he would have been killed in the Detroit game if he made it thru the Green Bay game.
by Eagladelphia on Jul 28, 2011 9:31 PM EDT up reply actions
EB…. I wanted to start another comment with “EB…”
Bleeding Green Nation -- Home of the REAL Slim Shady
36-5-20-JJ Bleeding Green Forever
by DeSean10 on Jul 28, 2011 7:43 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Too funny.
All of your posts / comments are must reads for every BGN member. If for nothing else, to show them how it should be done. My comments have a shit ton of typos / grammar errors that usually result in the first reply coming from me (subject: “Cobb’d”), but yours are always at that poet laureate level – regardless if I agree with the content or not. Good stuff.
My favorite line from this post:
The fattest man alive led us to a 10-6 record.
Even Andy would have to admit that that there is funny.
"This is one of the top 10 biggest bonehead trades in the history of the NFL."
-Washington Redskins TE Chris Cooley
I Like Kolb..
But this was funny as hell.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
-Awarded by Number5
Wild_Eagles’ Heart is scarier than Hell, you lose. - d-jackfan10 at the troll known as vicksuck!
EB
You do have a way with words.
"Luis Zedejas, I kick field goals. Am I nervous, yeah I suppose. Win the game by hittin the mark, this game is over before it starts."
-Buddy's Watchin You
by IWantToFlyLikeAnEagle on Jul 29, 2011 1:25 AM EDT reply actions
evil banner haiku has been mention on other websites as well
My mojo so dope. BITCH!
Revis Island< Nnamdi's Nation< Jimmy Smith's EGO
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