Top Ten Free Agents....

that suck. Yes, another off-season parody from yours truly. With all these free agent and wishlist posts over-flooding the fanpost section it's time to have a funny one. Here are crappy solutions for the various positions of need for the Eagles: RG, RT, DT, LB, CB, S

Yes, this is baring a new CBA and blah blah blah....

10. Cory Procter, Offensive Guard: The long time Cowboy is hitting the streets after two snits with the Dolphins this season. The first ended during training camp, the second after a season ending injury. Entered the league as a undrafted free agent with the Lions in 2005. His career has been spent backing up the cowboys "strong" offensive line. His best attributes? His drummer skills.



9. Khalif Barnes, Offensive Tackle



His nickname alone sums up his playing career. While in Jacksonville, Khalif became "Khawiff," by frequently missing his assignments in the passing game. Although still young at 28, he has been riddled with all sorts of injuries in his short snits with the Raiders in 2009 and 2010. And like all great athletes has a rap sheet

On November 9, 2006 Barnes was arrested for speeding (101 mph) down J. Turner Butler Boulevard, and driving under the influence of alcohol. The license plate on the Barnes' 2007 silver Mercedes had also expired. He spent several hours in the Duval County jail before being released on $500 bond. Barnes was benched for the next game against the Houston Texans. On July 11 Barnes was sentenced to six months probation, pay $650 in fines and court costs, perform 50 hours of community service, attend a drunken driving class and have his driver's license suspended for six months.

He can also replace that scrub Brent Celek in the passing game as Khawiff has experience as a pass catcher. He caught one TD this year from Jason Campbell against the Chiefs, a playoff team. Eagles fan all remember Jason Campbell amazing career with the Redskins.



Geez, even making Patterson look like a stud...

8. Sean Considine, Saftey: Ah, yes the ex-Eagle that was never in position and extremely not deep enough to cover down field to compliment his brick hands. Let's reminisce...


I didn't even know Considine was an FA

That’s how much I’ll miss him.

by D3Keith on Feb 27, 2009 8:10 PM PST actions  


who the hell would pay considine 3 million? don’t they know he sucks?

by eagleyosh on Feb 28, 2009 8:12 AM PST actions  

the jags are desperate

look what they paid porter and florence

We need a heart to live.... Resign Dawkins, the heart of the Philadelphia Eagles!

by anuj on Feb 28, 2009 8:18 AM PST up actions  


OMG SEAN CONSIDINE AND LJ SMITH ARE LEAVING? Who ever will I yell at for being horrible?

I am the people's troll :3™

by yomjoseki on Feb 26, 2009 9:08 PM PST actions  


 a guy in a line of players who survived on the Eagle's roster for way too long, guys like Sean ConsidineGreg Lewis, and Dhani Jones who are below average players.

more like

Patterson looks like Sean Considine trying to play cb


Since those days, Considine has found ways to disappoint even with the Jags 

2009: 13 games, 32 tackles, 1 INT

2010: 14 games, 44 tackles, 1 INT, 1 sack (actually this one is decent)

Here is what Jag fans say though

Coaches get fired when they lose the locker room

For some reason this Jags team rallied and played hard for Del Rio. We all said going into this season that this team needed another year and based on the players we had, should of won 5 games. We overachieved and our luck finally ran out. Sure we dropped the last few games of the season, but look who we had playing! When you have Russell Allen, Trent Edwards, Jordan Black, Sean Considine, and Don Carey all starting, do you really think you’re going to win that many games? The problem was that we overachieved, raised expectations to unreasonable levels, and fell back to the team we are, and now fans are all overreacting. Deep breath, relax and wait for that QB!

by jlana24 on Jan 3, 2011 2:22 PM PST actions   1 recs


I wish Considine would move to an island

far way from Jax. I vote he is the first to go.

by JPQ! on Feb 4, 2011 6:14 AM PST reply Star-gray Rec Story-flag Flag  


How do you settle for just one?

Honorable mentions for the poll:

MJD going with the concrete cleats
Eugene Monroe and Jordan Black’s side bet to see who could play worse
Jags giving Peyton Manning an early Christmas present… Sean Considine and Don Carey 
Garrard failing to tell the receivers GAME OFF of their pre game game of hot potato


by BIBBEE on Dec 20, 2010 8:12 PM PST actions  




Hey Considine, I know the view from the bench isn't really good, but those seats are for paying customers.


7. Keyunta Dawson, Defensive Tackle:



Indianapolis Colts 7th round crap? Check. 37 games played, 4th year pro, and only 1 sack? Check. Undersized DT at 254? Check. Gets stiff-armed by 6'0'' 215 lb QB? Check. Has defensive end experience so that it makes sense for the Eagles to play him at DT cause Patterson and Bunkley suck in pass rush? Check.

6. Mike Peterson, Outside Linebacker: But number5, Mike Peterson was good. Yeah, key word, was. At the age of 34, Peterson's career has been downhill since 2005. The dominate line backer with the Jags is now a shell of his former self with the Falcons. This year Peterson was a embarrassment. Slow, nonathletic, and a huge liability in pass-coverage. Wait, if he switches his number to 50 and last name to Sims, I bet 95% percent of the Eagles organization let alone fans will tell the difference.  



I wanted  Khawiff in not Celek. 


5. Chirs Houston, Cornerback: Houston was supposed to answer the gap left by DeAngleo Hall and Jimkmy Williams. Houston was drafted in the second round in 2007 and he never really shined with the Falcons. Just look at this number

YPC = Yards Per Completion (total yards gained by the receivers you guarded divided by the number of times you were targeted and the receiver actually caught the ball)

CA% = Completion Against Percentage (number of times you were targeted and the receiver actually caught the ball divided by the number of times you were targeted)

with both CA% and YPC, the lower the better


YPC: 12
CA%: 66.7 (42/63)


Here are what some said at the Falcoholic:

I say good move

He was not maturing at all as a player. He showed the same problems in coverage that he had displayed since he was drafted. His refusal to simply turn and look for the ball made him a liability on fly patterns, which we have regularly seen him get absolutely abused on. Such a glaring weakness which he showed no signs of fixing would certainly continue to be exploited. This was the right move, not only due to the glut of more productive talent at corner, but due to his own deficiencies on the field.

I like it. Houston was never appreciated in ATL.

And at the end of the day, he wasn’t a guy associated with this coach/GM combo. He had some bad habits, but I always thought he was good. I am no draft guru, but from what I hear, this is a deep one. Key to the draft is always to get as many picks as possible because it’s a crapshoot. Glad we got something decent for him.

Roddy White to Tony Gonzalez: "we may trade chris Houston so we improving the D"

When your own player calls you out, that isn't good. 




4. Chris Kelsay, 3-4 LB: Technically he is a linebacker.......



Why get a sack when I can do this!

3. Eric Barton, 3-4 Inside Linebacker: Barton was recently cut by the Browns as they are trying to clean house this off-season. Barton's numbers have been very poor since leaving the Jets in 2008. In 2009, he suffered injuries playing only 8 games. And in 2010 had slightly more tackle than in 2009 with 66. Here is an interesting note I found also at


Cowboys | Unlikely interested in any recent CLE cuts



Thu, 10 Feb 2011 13:46:17 -0800

The Dallas Cowboys likely will not be interested in free-agent DE Kenyon Coleman, DT Shaun Rogers, LB Eric Barton or LB David Bowens even though defensive coordinator Rob Ryan coached them this season when they were with the Cleveland Browns, according to Gerry Fraley, of The Dallas Morning News. All four are over 30 yards old and none is coming off a great season.

Read more:


I guess there seems to be some intelligent life in Jerry Jones World.



Yeah, I agree with Rob Ryan, you seem better without pads.

2. William Gay, Cornerback: Small at 5'10'' and slow. William Gay is one of the Pittsburgh Steelers poor corner tandems along with Bryant McFadden. He has only had 1 interception in his four year career. Starting experience? Not much. In 2009 he started 14 times and lost his job this year. I could only find two highlights on youtube, and here is one

Adrian Peterson trucks Steelers William Gay - NFL 10_25_09.avi (via NFLPwnege)



1. Zak DeOssie, Linebacker: If there was one team that has had just as many underwealming lineabackers as the Eagles if not more, it would be the Giants. One of their "best" is a free-agent this year, Zak DeOssie. Here's his stats 

2007: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries

2008: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries

2009: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries

2010: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries

In his defense, he was mostly a special teams player for the Giants, something the Eagles need help with. Let's ask Jason Avant about Zak DeOssie skills as a special teams player.

Desean Jackson Punt Return TD for Eagles Win vs Giants 12-19-2010 (via sportsonthenet)




There, hope this is the last Top Free-agent lists in a while. Biggest Snubs? Players here that are actually good? Discuss

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bleeding Green Nation

You must be a member of Bleeding Green Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleeding Green Nation. You should read them.

Join Bleeding Green Nation

You must be a member of Bleeding Green Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bleeding Green Nation. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.