Top Ten Free Agents....
by number5 on Feb 14, 2011 11:19 PM EST
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Printthat suck. Yes, another off-season parody from yours truly. With all these free agent and wishlist posts over-flooding the fanpost section it's time to have a funny one. Here are crappy solutions for the various positions of need for the Eagles: RG, RT, DT, LB, CB, S
Yes, this is baring a new CBA and blah blah blah....
10. Cory Procter, Offensive Guard: The long time Cowboy is hitting the streets after two snits with the Dolphins this season. The first ended during training camp, the second after a season ending injury. Entered the league as a undrafted free agent with the Lions in 2005. His career has been spent backing up the cowboys "strong" offensive line. His best attributes? His drummer skills.
9. Khalif Barnes, Offensive Tackle
via www4.pictures.gi.zimbio.com
His nickname alone sums up his playing career. While in Jacksonville, Khalif became "Khawiff," by frequently missing his assignments in the passing game. Although still young at 28, he has been riddled with all sorts of injuries in his short snits with the Raiders in 2009 and 2010. And like all great athletes has a rap sheet
On November 9, 2006 Barnes was arrested for speeding (101 mph) down J. Turner Butler Boulevard, and driving under the influence of alcohol. The license plate on the Barnes' 2007 silver Mercedes had also expired. He spent several hours in the Duval County jail before being released on $500 bond. Barnes was benched for the next game against the Houston Texans. On July 11 Barnes was sentenced to six months probation, pay $650 in fines and court costs, perform 50 hours of community service, attend a drunken driving class and have his driver's license suspended for six months.
He can also replace that scrub Brent Celek in the passing game as Khawiff has experience as a pass catcher. He caught one TD this year from Jason Campbell against the Chiefs, a playoff team. Eagles fan all remember Jason Campbell amazing career with the Redskins.
Geez, even making Patterson look like a stud...
8. Sean Considine, Saftey: Ah, yes the ex-Eagle that was never in position and extremely not deep enough to cover down field to compliment his brick hands. Let's reminisce...
I didn't even know Considine was an FA
That’s how much I’ll miss him.
by D3Keith on Feb 27, 2009 8:10 PM PST actions
who the hell would pay considine 3 million? don’t they know he sucks?
by eagleyosh on Feb 28, 2009 8:12 AM PST actions
the jags are desperate
look what they paid porter and florence
We need a heart to live.... Resign Dawkins, the heart of the Philadelphia Eagles!
by anuj on Feb 28, 2009 8:18 AM PST up actions
OMG SEAN CONSIDINE AND LJ SMITH ARE LEAVING? Who ever will I yell at for being horrible?
I am the people's troll :3™
by yomjoseki on Feb 26, 2009 9:08 PM PST actions
a guy in a line of players who survived on the Eagle's roster for way too long, guys like Sean Considine, Greg Lewis, and Dhani Jones who are below average players.
http://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2010/5/22/1483657/over-underrated-eagles
more like
Patterson looks like Sean Considine trying to play cb
Since those days, Considine has found ways to disappoint even with the Jags
2009: 13 games, 32 tackles, 1 INT
2010: 14 games, 44 tackles, 1 INT, 1 sack (actually this one is decent)
Here is what Jag fans say though
Coaches get fired when they lose the locker room
For some reason this Jags team rallied and played hard for Del Rio. We all said going into this season that this team needed another year and based on the players we had, should of won 5 games. We overachieved and our luck finally ran out. Sure we dropped the last few games of the season, but look who we had playing! When you have Russell Allen, Trent Edwards, Jordan Black, Sean Considine, and Don Carey all starting, do you really think you’re going to win that many games? The problem was that we overachieved, raised expectations to unreasonable levels, and fell back to the team we are, and now fans are all overreacting. Deep breath, relax and wait for that QB!
by jlana24 on Jan 3, 2011 2:22 PM PST actions 1 recs
I wish Considine would move to an island
far way from Jax. I vote he is the first to go.
by JPQ! on Feb 4, 2011 6:14 AM PST reply
Rec
Flag
How do you settle for just one?
Honorable mentions for the poll:
MJD going with the concrete cleats
Eugene Monroe and Jordan Black’s side bet to see who could play worse
Jags giving Peyton Manning an early Christmas present… Sean Considine and Don Carey
Garrard failing to tell the receivers GAME OFF of their pre game game of hot potatoWTF IS THE INTERNET?!?
by BIBBEE on Dec 20, 2010 8:12 PM PST actions
Hey Considine, I know the view from the bench isn't really good, but those seats are for paying customers.
7. Keyunta Dawson, Defensive Tackle:
Indianapolis Colts 7th round crap? Check. 37 games played, 4th year pro, and only 1 sack? Check. Undersized DT at 254? Check. Gets stiff-armed by 6'0'' 215 lb QB? Check. Has defensive end experience so that it makes sense for the Eagles to play him at DT cause Patterson and Bunkley suck in pass rush? Check.
6. Mike Peterson, Outside Linebacker: But number5, Mike Peterson was good. Yeah, key word, was. At the age of 34, Peterson's career has been downhill since 2005. The dominate line backer with the Jags is now a shell of his former self with the Falcons. This year Peterson was a embarrassment. Slow, nonathletic, and a huge liability in pass-coverage. Wait, if he switches his number to 50 and last name to Sims, I bet 95% percent of the Eagles organization let alone fans will tell the difference.
I wanted Khawiff in not Celek.
5. Chirs Houston, Cornerback: Houston was supposed to answer the gap left by DeAngleo Hall and Jimkmy Williams. Houston was drafted in the second round in 2007 and he never really shined with the Falcons. Just look at this number
YPC = Yards Per Completion (total yards gained by the receivers you guarded divided by the number of times you were targeted and the receiver actually caught the ball)
CA% = Completion Against Percentage (number of times you were targeted and the receiver actually caught the ball divided by the number of times you were targeted)
with both CA% and YPC, the lower the better
Houston
YPC: 12
CA%: 66.7 (42/63)
Yikes!
Here are what some said at the Falcoholic:http://www.thefalcoholic.com/2010/3/8/1361945/falcons-moving-toward-trade-to
I say good move
He was not maturing at all as a player. He showed the same problems in coverage that he had displayed since he was drafted. His refusal to simply turn and look for the ball made him a liability on fly patterns, which we have regularly seen him get absolutely abused on. Such a glaring weakness which he showed no signs of fixing would certainly continue to be exploited. This was the right move, not only due to the glut of more productive talent at corner, but due to his own deficiencies on the field.
I like it. Houston was never appreciated in ATL.And at the end of the day, he wasn’t a guy associated with this coach/GM combo. He had some bad habits, but I always thought he was good. I am no draft guru, but from what I hear, this is a deep one. Key to the draft is always to get as many picks as possible because it’s a crapshoot. Glad we got something decent for him.
Roddy White to Tony Gonzalez: "we may trade chris Houston so we improving the D"http://twitter.com/roddywhiteTV/status/10152378227
When your own player calls you out, that isn't good.
4. Chris Kelsay, 3-4 LB: Technically he is a linebacker.......
Why get a sack when I can do this!
3. Eric Barton, 3-4 Inside Linebacker: Barton was recently cut by the Browns as they are trying to clean house this off-season. Barton's numbers have been very poor since leaving the Jets in 2008. In 2009, he suffered injuries playing only 8 games. And in 2010 had slightly more tackle than in 2009 with 66. Here is an interesting note I found also at KFFL.com
Cowboys | Unlikely interested in any recent CLE cuts
Thu, 10 Feb 2011 13:46:17 -0800
The Dallas Cowboys likely will not be interested in free-agent DE Kenyon Coleman, DT Shaun Rogers
, LB Eric Barton or LB David Bowens even though defensive coordinator Rob Ryan coached them this season when they were with the Cleveland Browns, according to Gerry Fraley, of The Dallas Morning News. All four are over 30 yards old and none is coming off a great season.
Read more: http://www.kffl.com/player/1395/nfl#ixzz1DukGvrmv
I guess there seems to be some intelligent life in Jerry Jones World.
Yeah, I agree with Rob Ryan, you seem better without pads.
2. William Gay, Cornerback: Small at 5'10'' and slow. William Gay is one of the Pittsburgh Steelers poor corner tandems along with Bryant McFadden. He has only had 1 interception in his four year career. Starting experience? Not much. In 2009 he started 14 times and lost his job this year. I could only find two highlights on youtube, and here is one
Adrian Peterson trucks Steelers William Gay - NFL 10_25_09.avi (via NFLPwnege)
1. Zak DeOssie, Linebacker: If there was one team that has had just as many underwealming lineabackers as the Eagles if not more, it would be the Giants. One of their "best" is a free-agent this year, Zak DeOssie. Here's his stats
2007: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries
2008: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries
2009: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries
2010: 0 tackles, 0 Sacks, 0 Fumbles, 0 INT's, 0 Defensive Tackles, 0 Fumble Recoveries
In his defense, he was mostly a special teams player for the Giants, something the Eagles need help with. Let's ask Jason Avant about Zak DeOssie skills as a special teams player.
Desean Jackson Punt Return TD for Eagles Win vs Giants 12-19-2010 (via sportsonthenet)
via arkitipintel.com
Ouch?
There, hope this is the last Top Free-agent lists in a while. Biggest Snubs? Players here that are actually good? Discuss
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Over under on people who just look at names and pictures instead of reading and think number5 is a moron for suggesting these players?
Bleeding Green Nation -- Home of the REAL Slim Shady
36-5-20-JJ Bleeding Green Forever
????
is this guy a moron for mentioning these players as possible FA signings???? WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP, i actually enjoyed this and thought it was pretty funny. Over/ Under is being set at 5.
by goldenbird09 on Feb 14, 2011 11:53 PM EST up reply actions
Haha dude
I did just that. Although I didnt think number5 was a moron, only that he has A LOT of time on his hands…. or on his computer for that matter….
FLY #7 FLY !!!
by BWestFactor on Feb 15, 2011 11:48 AM EST up reply actions
o
Parodies are supposed to be funny.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a fucking clock.
Can we kill “o”? It just seems like a lazy way to be condescending.
by Eaglesadvocate on Feb 16, 2011 12:23 PM EST up reply actions
o
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
Or would you like for me to go into detail about how you really have no say in our way of displaying displeasure with
a certain fanpost? And go on to tell you (once you reply with some dumbass comment) how you’re a complete idiot and be complete condescending like this?
This was just used as a point, the “O” isn’t condescending. and Even if it were I’d rather get the O.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
If the O isn’t condescending you’ll have to explain it’s purpose to me. If I took the time and effort to write up a fan post, I’d rather have people voice what they didn’t like about it or what they disagreed with, instead of just saying “o”. I don’t see anything constructive about it.
by Eaglesadvocate on Feb 16, 2011 1:13 PM EST up reply actions
The 'o'
is a way to voice displeasure that doesn’t end up in a crazy internet argument, in which W_E explains the 50 ways he’d like to defile your mother.
Trust me the ‘o’ is the better option.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a fucking clock.
I suppose o is a better alternative than thread-clogging arguments, but I think ignoring posts you don’t feel like arguing about is the best option. To each his own.
by Eaglesadvocate on Feb 16, 2011 5:47 PM EST up reply actions
is a way to voice displeasure that doesn’t end up in a crazy internet argument, in which W_E explains the 50 ways he’d like to defile your mother
Only if she’s hot.. and good call KByars.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
dude I liked this post.
Came out of nowhere; We need more like this.
"This is one of the top 10 biggest bonehead trades in the history of the NFL."
-Redskins TE Chris Cooley
Haha
Always good for a laugh but how is Sean Considine at 6.
Sending pics of your junk > dog killing > generally being a douche > sexual assault allegations > being on the Cowboys.
This isn't just thinking outside the box. This is outside the rhombus, trapezoid, and parallelogram
For some reason I chuckled a bit at the BGN comments on Considine’s departure. Simple snark, that’s how it’s done.
DTMWTD
Considine's one sack this season
Who did he sack?
Michael Vick.
"Verde que te quiero verde..."
Το πράσινο είναι ζωή!
That's right, I bleed green multiculturally
"if you shut someone down with class, it's more effective" - Udalango
William Gay is actually one of the best if not the best nickelback in the game. He is in the top 10 in success rate, passes defended, sacks, QB hits, and tackles for loss among all cornerbacks. So yeah, he doesn’t belong in this parody.
stats?
not that I don’t believe you, but the stats that I looked at this year weren’t good
If Revis has an Island, Asomugha should have a continent.
"beat the man in front of you, then attempt to seriously injure the quarterback."
"Reidtard" for president!!!!
Sending pics of your junk > dog killing > generally being a douche > sexual assault allegations > being on the Cowboys.
sorry Im stupid
what does WPA and EPA mean besides Positive Win Probability Added and Positive Expected points added
If Revis has an Island, Asomugha should have a continent.
"beat the man in front of you, then attempt to seriously injure the quarterback."
"Reidtard" for president!!!!
Sending pics of your junk > dog killing > generally being a douche > sexual assault allegations > being on the Cowboys.
William Gay is actually really terrible. The Steelers gave him a chance to start and promptly took it away the following year by trading for Bryant McFadden because Gay was so bad.
Oh and that link is crap, its says Joselio Hanson is the 12th best corner in the NFL and that Dimitri Patterson is the 20th best corner in the game. And sorry but Benny Sapp and Phillip Buchanan are awful.
Merry Vickmas everyone! * Falls into pile of snow DeSean style *
"It's simple, ... I'm always striving to do more. Whatever I accomplish, it's not enough. I don't get satisfied. That's not my nature." -Brian Dawkins
"Well as long as you want to get it right it's Princess Buttercup... Jackass." -Udalango
One thing you don’t seem to get is success rate is not the end all be all stat. It’s judged based on how much the player played. Hypothetically speaking, If Hanson played 100 snaps and had a success rate of 55%, does that make him better than Tramon Williams who played 500 snaps at 49%? You also have to factor in plays made and plays given up when judging cornerbacks. Also, they did not separate nickel backs and starting corners. Notice, I said Gay is one of the best nickel backs in the game. He is not good on the outside. Dimitri Patterson might have a 45% success rate but the catches, YPC, and TDs given up numbers were terrible.
Stat websites like ANS and PFF always have weird rankings.
I know its not the end all be all but those are how they ranked them and we know that Patterson and Hanson completely suck so how can we trust the rest of the rankings when we know right off the bat that two of their top twenty are wrong?
And Charles Woodson wasn’t even that good this past season, his leadership was more important than ever but Tramon Williams was the better corner. Another one they got wrong.
How can the Eagles have three top 20 corners according to that website and it is still such a huge issue? I don’t trust that site, it looks and seems sketchy. Any website that tells me that Joselio Hanson, William Gay, Dimitri Patterson, Benny Sapp and Phillip Buchannan are good is sketchy at best.
Merry Vickmas everyone! * Falls into pile of snow DeSean style *
"It's simple, ... I'm always striving to do more. Whatever I accomplish, it's not enough. I don't get satisfied. That's not my nature." -Brian Dawkins
"Well as long as you want to get it right it's Princess Buttercup... Jackass." -Udalango
No , I got it, I’m just saying that website isn’t legit at all.
Merry Vickmas everyone! * Falls into pile of snow DeSean style *
"It's simple, ... I'm always striving to do more. Whatever I accomplish, it's not enough. I don't get satisfied. That's not my nature." -Brian Dawkins
"Well as long as you want to get it right it's Princess Buttercup... Jackass." -Udalango
Does it say that success rate is the way we determine our cornerback rankings? No. You determined that for yourself. You clicked on success rate percentage, saw these names towards the top and automatically accuse the website for not being legit. Like I said, stat websites always have weird rankings. Unless, you have all the snap numbers, targets, completions allowed, yards allowed, TDs given up, tackles, sacks, QB hits, passes defended, INTs, and TFL numbers, you can’t really determine who the best is. Most of us believe Nnamdi is the best corner in the NFL because we know his target/completion/TD given up numbers which was posted by reporters/analysts online. Just because you have a high success rate doesn’t mean you’re good. It’s not even an official stat.
Make simpler
It’s an average. If a guy bats 400 in 50 at bats, that doesn’t mean the place providing the statistics think the guy is a hall of famer; it means that they obeserved that the guy had 20 hits in 50 at bats and did a little division.
AR should have to wear a Flava Flav necklace until he learns how to manage a fucking clock.
BTW I like this post, I clicked on it thinking “Oh, here we go again…” and then bam it wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Good job.
Merry Vickmas everyone! * Falls into pile of snow DeSean style *
"It's simple, ... I'm always striving to do more. Whatever I accomplish, it's not enough. I don't get satisfied. That's not my nature." -Brian Dawkins
"Well as long as you want to get it right it's Princess Buttercup... Jackass." -Udalango
I have no idea
Kelsay just get the sack!
If Revis has an Island, Asomugha should have a continent.
"beat the man in front of you, then attempt to seriously injure the quarterback."
"Reidtard" for president!!!!
Sending pics of your junk > dog killing > generally being a douche > sexual assault allegations > being on the Cowboys.
DeOssie skill is longsnapping
Otherwise he is rather useless.
Seriously, who the fuck would buy a Sean Considine jersey, and even if he somehow got it for free, there is no reason to actually WEAR IT to an Eagles game
Last name Ever
First name Greatest
maybe he's related to Considine?
Who's Been Eatin' Hummus?
She passed wind, excused herself, and sponged off in the corner as I sat dazed and confused...
Constidumbass.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
Putting a LS as the top free agent who sucks.
Wow, you’re kinda BA.
" You're f***ing out! " - Kenny Powers
by PhiladelphiaEagles on Feb 16, 2011 1:07 AM EST reply actions
3 in a row ;)
If Revis has an Island, Asomugha should have a continent.
"beat the man in front of you, then attempt to seriously injure the quarterback."
"Reidtard" for president!!!!
Sending pics of your junk > dog killing > generally being a douche > sexual assault allegations > being on the Cowboys.
fuck.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
You know what's unfortunate?
Out of the five related FanPosts up top, one is by chris33hos and the other is by Astley Pessoa III. Not. Good. Company. Although w_e kinda balances it out.
Bleeding Green Nation -- Home of the REAL Slim Shady
36-5-20-JJ Bleeding Green Forever
What? are you taking a shot at me?
You better not be comparing me to those guys.
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
Not at all man, I was saying you compensated for their mediocrity.
Bleeding Green Nation -- Home of the REAL Slim Shady
36-5-20-JJ Bleeding Green Forever
Ok. when I thought about it after I changed the page I understood but was to lazy to return here lol
Defensive player of the year for 2011 is...
Wild_Eagle!
Yes, Wild_Eagle's infamous reputation did help him get this award. But he shows that he walks the talk that he serves...with his keyboard. Wild_Eagle protects the motherland (BGN) from the evils of noobs, douche-bags, and other assholes. Although he may be crude and unnecessary, all great defenders draws the yellow flag from time to time.
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