It's a new Mohrning, Weg up and Reid. I know, we expected the Young guns to start Cullen our opponents and make our season Asomugha (that's what Avant too), but so far we've been far from in-Vince-able with only one Vicktory and got knocked out Coleman. De Van is stuck in the Mudd.
OK, I think you figured what I'm trying to do here. Look, I'm just as much of a fan as everyone else on here and I hate being 1-3 like every single rant artist.But hell, I'm a writer and sometimes disaster inspires me. And laughter can be good medicine.
I thought about doing this in narrative form, saying how Sam Bradford was singing “Meet Me in St. Louis” and what we did was meat him and Ram our game down his throat, but after that we started Falcon up on a Giant scale (on a scale of 1 to 10, give us a 49 with a very wide 9) like we were on the wrong Page of a Kafka novel. We expected the Falcons to carry a Roddy, but I'm not Ryan, they Turner game around and left us Snelling bad. (Dunta think so?)
Enough of that. From here on I'll just list out short disjointed examples of what's wrong with this season. Man up (or woman up, Eaglesgrl5 and Philadehlia) and take your Pun-ishment.
Defending the Wrong Castillo (Not Keenan This Defense)
Casey isn't a chip off the old block (he's not getting off any blocks), can someone Tapp his potential or is he in the wrong Rolle?
DeSean, You Catching Balls or Jackson Off?
Brent, Celekt “Catch” not “Drop”
Avant the Immaclinate Reception, not the Immaclinate Deception (look those plays up if you don't understand)
The Ghost of Dawkins is Doggin' Us
Jarrad the Wrong Page in the Playbook
Avant Us Moving Our Chaneys, Not Theirs
Caught with our Dixon the air (or with Mudd on Our Vick instead of keeping him clean) – O. Schmitt!
Washburn and Lose Your Landri
The Old Guard Can't Help the Young Center
Avant Jamaalin' Them and Laying Down the Laws
Get Your Schmitt Together and Ronnie the Ball
Jarrett-y to play for real? Then start Cullen people out and saying “Fokou, We're Winning Anyway!”