Like any diehard fan, my mood during the week is greatly influenced by how the Eagles play on Sundays.
-After a win, I tend to be more upbeat with a smile on my face that I couldn't wipe off if I wanted to. I spend the whole week looking forward to the next game.
-After most losses, I'm down in the dumps for a few days. Then I spend the rest of week looking at the positives of the loss and what we have going for us in the next game.
-Then there are those devastating games. The heartbreakers, the ones that really mattered, the ones we should have won, etc. You know, the games that really get to you, make you angry, and/or leave you feeling demoralized and sometimes numb. I spend those weeks dwelling on the bull shit, refusing to acknowledge the positives, unable to shake myself out of a terrible mood.
The last 3 Eagles's games all fall into the last category, so it's obvious I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around lately. Noticing that, I was approached by a friend about it. She knew the cause and, after conversing about it a little, she said something that really stuck.
"Why don't you just give up? Just for this season. So you can avoid the disappointment and not have to feel like this all season."
When she said it, I scoffed at the idea, but it just kept bouncing around in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about those words.
In practice, it makes perfect rational sense. The Eagles are 1-4 with no reason to believe it will get any better. Even if they do turn things around, its too big of a hole to have a realistic shot at the playoffs. So why continue to put ourselves through the weekly torture of watching this team underachieve and disappoint? Why not walk away now and avoid the pain, anger, and disappointment of the rest of the season? It would definitely be nice to spend my next few months not being dragged into the misery that has dominated me the past few weeks. So, why not just give up, walk away, and jump back in next season?
As much sense as that might make rationally, this goes much deeper. Actually, there is nothing rational at all about being a fan. It's an emotional connection that goes so far beyond rational thinking that walking away isn't even an option.
So why don't we give up? Because we can't.
Because it's not a choice to us. The Eagles have our allegiance and there's nothing we can do about it.
Because, good or bad, this is our team and rational thinking doesn't apply here.
Because we are invested, obsessed, and loyal.
That's what makes it difficult. That's what makes it great.
That's what makes us bleed green.