With the announcement of Bill Shuey finally getting his ass thrown to the curb and after hours upon hours of scientific study and mathematical calculations, it has dawned on me that the Eagles need a new linebackers coach.

With that in mind, I ask you this single question.

Why not this guy?

Holla!

That's right, I'm talking about Big Keithy-B a.k.a Douchebag McGee a.k.a Scrotum Face.

He could be our starting MLB slash linebackers coach all in one. This man, nay, this god amongst men is the sole veteran leadership that this team needs so dearly. Who else can deliver this stunning display of pure awesomeness in the form of a speech before a game?

Keith Brooking's Pre Game Hype Speech vs. the Washington Redskins (via DallasCowboys94Ware)

Do you think that any of our players would have the balls to go over to the Viking's bench and start bitching about them running up the score on us?

Keith Brooking cry babies and complainers (via sharkbait8088)

I DON'T THINK SO! 

This man demands honor, and honor he shall attain no matter cost.  He strikes fear into even the biggest of men. Just look at Jared Allen's face when Brooking gets up in his grill and tell me what you see. You know what I see? Pure unadulterated panic. I can guarantee you that Allen will think twice about crossing Brooking again.

You want to talk about dedication? Brooking is the very definition of that word. Want proof? Just take a look at the man. His love for the game is so great that he would rather shit his pants right in the middle of the field then abandon his team for one single down to use the proper facilities. 

And that, my friends, is the attitude of champions!