Former Eagles' wide receiver Freddie Mitchell (aka Freddex aka "The Peoples' Champ" aka "The Sultan of Slot" aka "4th and 26" aka "I'd Like to thank my Hands for being so great") will be featured on Millionaire Matchmaker tonight. The only question: How does Freddex, that fucking tool-case, still have a million bucks to his name?

Some notes:

• It seems that poor Freddex has been burnt by a bunch of golddiggers. He has never had a relationship not based off of his football (lack there of) career.

• "Can I get a BJ on da first date?" Thank you, Fredex, for this revolution in television programing

Still waiting on Fredex to refer to himself in the 3rd person, or to his Hands as independent, sacred entities. Its gonna happen.

• In his quest to escape from Golddiggers, The Peoples' Champ has fallen in love with a blond, southern Gemologist. Go figure.

• Major development. The girl found out about his skimping on paying child support. She's a single mom, and The Sultan of Slot might be in trouble...

• On his stint with male cheerleading -"You know, more guys should learn to do the chair because..your hand is right here, and her ass is right herrrr (wink wink)"

• On touching this chick's ass on the first date: "I was in an Empire State of Mind."
  
•  "You sure were."

• The date went very well, but because she spoke about money (the child support), he won't ever take her out again...

So ladies, your chance is real. YOU could let Freddie's glorious hands awkwardly caress your ass on a skyscraper.  Just don't talk about his fucking child support, bitch.