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If West Virginia had an NFL team we wouldn't be having this conversation

This team needs OL help. There is a highly regarded OL prospect just sitting around twiddling his thumbs. It's time to sign Tony Washington. Yes, I know what he did, but the sex was consensual and if they survived signing Vick, they can survive this. And, hey, has anybody seen his sister? Maybe she was stupid hot. I mean, why go out for hot dogs when you've got Steak-Ums at home, right? He was just being environmentally sensitive. Think globally, date family.

Washington's biggest crime is that he's a bit creepy and being creepy isn't a crime. Trent Cole lives in a house filled with animal corpses and he's one of the most popular guys on the team. Kevin Kolb grew up a Cowboy fan. Stewart Bradly built a scale model of the Palace at Versailles and dresses his cat like Louie XIV. Jeremy Maclin has a scab collection. Surely, a city progressive enough to have a section billed as the Gayborhood can handle a bit of sister-diddling. More to the point, the Chiefs -- a team that could finish third in the AFC West and lead by a guy who couldn't even make the Eagles' roster last year -- beat the stuffing out of Kolb last night and I'm willing to overlook A LOT if it keeps the quarterback from breathing through his ear.

C'mon, Andy. Hook him up with Tony Dungy, the Archbishop of the NFL, claim you want to save his soul and teach him how to pick up a blitzing linebacker. Just, you know, make sure he's not leaving tickets at Will Call for his sister.

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