Brent Celek's Cautionary Tale About Cheesecake

by JasonB on Aug 11, 2010 6:31 PM EDT in Philadelphia Eagles News

Brent Celek was absent from the morning practice today due to an undisclosed illness. He returned to practice in the afternoon and disclosed the illness to CSN's Jordan Raanan...

As it turns out, Celek ate cherry cheesecake that had been sitting in his car for 5 hours. In case you were wondering, it was 92 in Bethlehem, PA today...

The sound you hear is girlfriends and wives all around the Delaware Valley rolling their eyes... I feel like this story screams for an andyreidswaistline photoshop....

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Dude...

I love cheesecake as much as the next red-blooded American male, but c’mon now. That’s like eating that McDonald’s french fry that fell in between the seats from 5 days ago. Tempting, but not worth it.

by joetimek on Aug 11, 2010 6:44 PM EDT reply actions

That's awesome.

What a dumbass.

My better half’s contribution: “They don’t have refrigerators there?”

Veritas Liberabit Te

by DSmith215 on Aug 11, 2010 6:46 PM EDT reply actions

He would be a man's man if he didn't get sick.

That is some serious love for cheesecake though.

I hope I am wrong, but Kolb is a four-letter word.

by Cowboy KILLER on Aug 11, 2010 6:57 PM EDT reply actions

I have done a similar thing

At a cross country meet i found a Nesquick choco milk from the week before. It hadnt been to hot so I drank about half of it. (milk before a run isnt a good idea if its good milk but I had done it before and was fine)
But at the starting line i start to feel the rumble and am like “ugh this is an important race” so the gun fires and my stomach and legs both start. Got puke on the front of me and my neighbor (from a rival high school WOOT) but then ran about 3 mins above my usualy 17ish time. UGH lol

UDDDDAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Η κόλαση δεν έχει μυστικά

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!!!

"fuk u i hate peas"- CNCITINFO (Random BGN troll)

by Udalango on Aug 11, 2010 6:57 PM EDT reply actions

When I did track & field, I ran sprints. One day before my heat, I drank a bottle of Mountain Dew thinking the sugar rush would give me extra energy.

If you need further verification that I’m an idiot, I can’t help you.

"Let's take this thing from the beginning. Let's go out and make some plays! Special teams, defense, big hits, turnovers, whatever it takes to win this thing!"
-Brian Dawkins

by McNabb2Maclin4Philly on Aug 11, 2010 7:43 PM EDT up reply actions

In case anyone was wondering, double cheeseburgers isn’t the best thing before swim practice…..lol

by The Fish on Aug 11, 2010 7:58 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions

I did the same thing

except I drank pepsi, but I thought the sugar would give me energy.

"I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care. "

by midnitegreen on Aug 12, 2010 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions

My quarterback hunts wild hogs and kills rattlesnakes in his free time...What does your quarterback do?

by IowaEagle on Aug 11, 2010 7:15 PM EDT reply actions

I was retelling the story...

to my wife and she rolled her eyes before I even got to the temperature.

I'm not drunk I'm just drinking.

by no1pipelayer on Aug 11, 2010 7:26 PM EDT reply actions

Yea, reactions were strong with this story...

Wife was already beyond eye rolling, and had a look of horror when I got to “sitting in his car…”, “…for 5 hours” actually drew an audible “ewwwww”. And I’m pretty sure she checked out by the time I got to the temp. Gonna have to face cannon this one.. The cannon also provides ample space for cheese cake extraction.

by Sparki on Aug 12, 2010 8:22 AM EDT up reply actions

It was only 5 hours not 5 days

i would have probably done the same thing

by rajav on Aug 11, 2010 9:19 PM EDT reply actions

It only takes an hour in the hot sun to curdle milk/cheese product. You can eat it, but you’ll spend the rest of the day on the toilet.

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.

by doubleh on Aug 11, 2010 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Meh

He’s a football player, not a rocket scientist. Still, when the cheesecake is melted, it’s probably a good sign that you shouldn’t eat it.

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.

by doubleh on Aug 11, 2010 10:30 PM EDT reply actions

I wanna go to the cheesecake factory with Brent Celek?

by Eaglesadvocate on Aug 11, 2010 10:49 PM EDT reply actions

How cool would it be for a bunch of fans w/ Celek jerseys to wear a cheese head to the first home game?

It's "Kolb"ering time!

by oldasquick on Aug 12, 2010 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions

I work at the cheesecake factory

With all the flavors on the menu… He could have gotten sick over something much more delicious than the cherry cheesecake… Banana cream ftw

by Johnny G on Aug 12, 2010 4:04 AM EDT via mobile reply actions

Formerly Bye, Dawk :(

by JimmyK on Aug 12, 2010 8:14 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

by oldasquick on Aug 12, 2010 4:54 PM EDT reply actions

It's like seeing the Bat Signal when I get called out for in these posts.

Give me a few minutes.

by andyreidswaistline on Aug 12, 2010 7:03 PM EDT reply actions

by andyreidswaistline on Aug 12, 2010 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions

So the guy vomits fire?

Keith Brooking better watch out

"Verde que te quiero verde..."
Το πράσινο είναι ζωή!
That's right, I bleed green multiculturally
"if you shut someone down with class, it's more effective" - Udalango

by Rabbit T on Aug 13, 2010 5:15 AM EDT up reply actions