My stupid first round mock

I posted this for a contest on I figured what the fudge, I'll post it here, too, because everybody totally cares about my novice (at best) level of knowledge on the NFL draft and other teams needs. Without further ado:

Rams - Sam Bradford

- Set in stone

Lions - Suh

- All but guaranteed

Tampa Bay - Gerald McCoy

- This is almost more of a guarantee than Bradford to the Rams.

Redskins - Okung

- Because Chris Cooley doesn't play tackle.

Kansas City - Bulaga

- Pioli = smart

Seattle - Trent Williams

- Walter Jones is kinda old.

Eagles - Eric Berry

- You don't win these things by making the same picks as everyone else. Browns traded down last year and wouldn't mind doing it again. Holmgren will draft a QB sometime after the first while Delhomme holds down the fort. Philly and Cleveland ties run deep with Tom Heckert and the close relationship Mike Holmgren and Andy Reid still have. They already moved Sheldon Brown and Chris Gocong, and I think this might go down. I don't particularly want this to happen, because (as I've mentioned before) I don't like moving this far up and giving up high draft picks, but that's my semi-bold prediction.

Raiders - Bruce Campbell

- He's the most athletic player at a position of need, therefore Al Davis fell in love with him.

Buffalo Bills - Clausen

- The linemen available aren't worth it, and Clausen is said to be the second best QB available. (I don't think Clausen will be good, though)

Jaguars - Derrick Morgan

- Best pass rusher in the draft goes to the worst pass rushers in the league.

Broncos - Rolando McClain

- Solid pickup for a Broncos defense that needs playmakers

Miami - Dan Williams

- Not necessarily the BPA, but he fills a need and is a pretty good value here.

San Francisco - CJ Spiller

- BPA and gives the 49ers yet another reason to never address their QB situation

Seattle - Taylor May

- Pete Carrol pick obviously

NY Giants - Brandon Graham

- They choose to address the LB situation later because the available LBs aren't worth it, here.

Tennessee - Kyle Wilson

- Tennessee provides a mild surprise by making Wilson the first CB taken.

San Francisco - Anthony Davis

- They need a tackle, bad. He ends up playing left tackle and Joe Staley moves back to the right side, instantly improving two important positions.

Steelers - Iupati

- They need to improve their O-Line more than ever. I hate Roethlisberger, but he wins games. He can buy time and get out of a sticky situation, but enough about his legal troubles. He can make plays after the pass protection breaks down and dodge sacks. They're going to need to lean on a strong run game because they will not go anywhere in 2010 if they have to pass as much as they did in 2009.

Falcons - Jason Paul-Pierre

- The hype machine gets taken here by a team with a passable defense but room for improvement everywhere.

Houston - Earl Thomas

- A good player falls to Houston who takes the opportunity to upgrade their secondary.

Cincinnati - Dez Bryant

- The best WR in the draft (besides Eric Decker, of course) comes in to hopefully improve a dazzlingly average offense.

Patriots - Jerry Hughes

- Patriots would've loved Dez Bryant here, and maybe trade up for him, but they can definitely stand to improve their defense after gutting it the last two years.

Packers - Joe Haden

- Their CBs are old.

Browns - Sean Weatherspoon

- This is a tough pick because I have nothing to reference as far as the Browns drafting late in the first. They bring him in to shore up their LB corps.

Ravens - Jared Odrick

- Comes in to play DE

Jacksonville - Tebow

- They mortgage their future to get a second pick in the first

Dallas - Pouncey

- See Bye, Dawk :('s pick in the BGN mock.

San Diego - Terrence Cody

- Yeah, they need a RB, but a nose tackle is more important.

Jets - Linval Joseph

- I couldn't name their DTs, and then I looked them up, and they're both 31. He's been moving up draft boards and might have a chance at being taken in the first.

Vikings - Devin McCourty

- For a 12 win team, they actually have a decent number of holes. He's the best CB remaining and stuff.

Colts - Charles Brown

- #1 priority is keeping Peyton Manning upright. As long as they do that, this team has a chance.

Saints - Dan Price

- The SB champs upgrade their d-line, and end up with a pretty formidable combo of Dan Price and Sedrick Ellis.

And begin the ridicule..... NOW

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