Re: The Eagles Need For a DE
by number5 on Feb 7, 2010 12:35 AM EST
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This is a RE to my DE post
Some say that that we need to draft high this year for a LDE. While there are some good players like Brandon Graham, Greg Hardy, Jerry Hughes, and Brandon Lang. Some say the Julius Peppers would provide a NFL best pass rush. I say we get someone who has plenty of experience and we don't have to wait for the Panthers...
Yes...Chuck Norris is our next LDE. Here are some reasons why the would be the best ever.
1. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
2. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. Watch out Redskins!
3.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
4. Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none." No flags for that (yet).
5. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
6. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire. He could probably run the 40 before the timer starts.
7. God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
8. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
9. Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.
10. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
11. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill. Same applies to injuries.
Possible Stats for a '10 season
Tackles: 1200
Sacks: 99.999
FF: 22
TD's: Every time he touches the ball
Roundhouse kicks: Enough that is it was money, the United States would be out of its current recession.
HOF Inductee: 2011
Jersey Number: Infinity
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Give me Billy Jack
Any guy, who actually takes off his boots to kick your ass, is one meamn MO-FO
by Cowboy KILLER on Feb 7, 2010 8:45 AM EST up reply actions
It's also true
That one time a man asked Chuck Norris what his favorite kind of music was. Chuck began roundhousing the man until he began crying. Chuck then told him, that was music to his ears.
Chuck Norris will also take your virginity. If you are thinking, “That’s impossible. I already lost my virginity.” Then you are dead wrong.
It also took Chuck Norris 1 hour to eat three 72 ounce steaks. He spent the first 44 minutes of that time, banging his waitress.
And please do not forget about the time Chuck Norris fucked every nun at a Tuscany monastery. 9 months later they gave birth to the 1972 Dolphins. The only undefeated, untied team in NFL history.
Chuck for LDE or whatever other postion he wants to play.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
Defensive Tackle??
About 10 minutes ago, I was pondering my own existence. Then I decided that it didn't matter.
As BA Baracus? Yes. His only weakness was his fear of heights. Since we need him to blow up the O line by getting low, perfect fit.
As Toughman Contest winner? No. He is best in a high stance and would have to be moved back to LB.
As Clubber Lang? I go with No. Same thing as Toughman winner but also he has Stamina issues. Punched himself out in the 3rd round.
As the Gay janitor in Not another Teen Movie? No, we would have to switch him to some sort of motivational coach.
Hope these break downs help.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
LOL, I always wanted Chuck to be on our team, you guys read my comments
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
Mike Tyson should be a DT, He will bite people
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
then you have no humor
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
Perhaps
I actually liked Chuck Norris jokes when they first started. Now, it’s just hard for me to laugh at the same jokes over and over.
Meh.
I still laugh at EVERY single one of them
and I’ve heard them all 100 times. I don’t know why, I also think they should get old, but for whatever reason, the idea of Chuck Norris being able to slam a revolving door just make me laugh…every time
"EFF YOU, WE'RE WINNING ANYWAY!!!!!!" (Bye, Dawk)
i prefer peppers or kampman...
but that’s mainly because chuck norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths… and that would make for a messy locker room.
I like Peppers more, but....
Kampman will be a real free agent (doesn’t fit GB’s system anymore). Along with the injury… Kampman might come significantly cheaper than peppers.
lol ya we just love takings risks with the injury prone dont we
by rainvillefromottawa on Feb 7, 2010 8:19 PM EST up reply actions
That
and the fact that he can play DE and drop into coverage if needed. His injury is the only thing I would question.
by Cowboy KILLER on Feb 8, 2010 8:01 PM EST up reply actions
I wonder if he's considered playing QB....
imagine the daft picks we could get for trading all 3 QBs we have… he could round house kick the footballs to DJax. Illegal kicking… I’d like to see the Ref that denies Norris his TD!
But Djax
Might have the speed to catch up to them. But the sheer force of power would put it right through his hands. We would lose DJax for life, and since Chuck will stop playing whenever the hell he wants to. We’d be without the greatest two way player ever (actually 22 way player) and our top WR. Sad times.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
i don't think DeSean would last through training camp
with Chuck Norris as a QB. In fact all of our WRs would probably have broken hands.
Except for Brent Celek who is the Anti-chuck.
thats Cobb on Kolb crime if you ask me... as said by yophillybro
"I'm trading Kolb to Buffalo for Cribbs"- the brilliant Trade Kolb
im just i wasnt the guy on the bears that told this guy he didnt make the cut
"I think pro athletes should be forced to use steroids. I think we as fans deserve the greatest athletes science can create."- Daniel Tosh
If Football Had A Church , Brian Dawkins Would Be My Preacher. -NPK
Mr. Reid, Mr. Reid I killed'd him, I killed'd poor little Tony Romo
Reid: good boy… Now do the same thing to Kitna and Ill let you raise JJ from the grave.
thats Cobb on Kolb crime if you ask me... as said by yophillybro
"I'm trading Kolb to Buffalo for Cribbs"- the brilliant Trade Kolb
Funny Post. We also need Steven Segal...
to compliment David Akers Judo skills, Arnold Governegger – just because – and Andre the Giant……as a fullback. (Even dead, he’d be better than last year’s fullbacks.)
so you saying hes better than the weave
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
Shit no, dude.
We’re talking depth here!
:)
alrite, the weave is the beast that needs to stay, lets sign him forever lol
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
that would be sweet
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
i want usain bolt as our new primary receiver
by rainvillefromottawa on Feb 7, 2010 8:20 PM EST reply actions
wtf
is goin on w/ that dudes belly button….
"Eagles fans are a passionate group who love their team," said McNabb, "if not the actual players. It's not like winning a Super Bowl before the first month of the season is the hardest thing they've ever asked of me. That'd be all those times they asked me to go kill myself."
by greenbean#twoOH on Feb 8, 2010 5:13 AM EST up reply actions
it look like it will pop
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
Only if he can play with his helmet off
The guy’s face is ugly enough that opposing quarterbacks will tremble in fear.
Can we draft Terry tate?
Now thats a LB. We pair him with Bobby Boucher and keep Bradley in the middle. Could be the hardest hitting Eagles team in forever.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
is at peace with the fact that i am a DICK.... i am good at it.... it is what i do.... it defines who i am.... will i be hated?? most definitely... do i care?? hell no...
we wouldnt even need to pay it
is at peace with the fact that i am a DICK.... i am good at it.... it is what i do.... it defines who i am.... will i be hated?? most definitely... do i care?? hell no...
maybe in bananas and gorilla whores
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
nah
im pretty sure cracking skulls would be payment enough
is at peace with the fact that i am a DICK.... i am good at it.... it is what i do.... it defines who i am.... will i be hated?? most definitely... do i care?? hell no...
Lol
he could be the first player to ever rip off the opposing O lines arm and club the entire other team to near death with it. I think we should keep him in Reserve til the first Dallas game. lol
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
by Talon Talent on Feb 9, 2010 12:47 AM EST up reply actions
or we can get something close to a gorilla
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
Sorry his mobility is terrible
if he got cut block once, his career would be over. I don’t even know if he can bend his knees. We’d be better off getting the Big Show. he at least has mobility with his gigantic frame. other wrestlers to consider
Bobby Lashley, DL. John Cena, LB. Shelton Benjamin, CB.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
Brock
Lesnar
About 10 minutes ago, I was pondering my own existence. Then I decided that it didn't matter.
why would we get a short guy with a big nose and a huge friend?
Eagles move up for Eric Berry!!!!!!!!!!!
iuno, they look frightening
Desean Jackson- Im Number 1, the real deal, The 1(0)ne to Watch.
Interview while at Cal.
did you really answer that??
"Eagles fans are a passionate group who love their team," said McNabb, "if not the actual players. It's not like winning a Super Bowl before the first month of the season is the hardest thing they've ever asked of me. That'd be all those times they asked me to go kill myself."
by greenbean#twoOH on Feb 9, 2010 7:21 AM EST up reply actions
wow
you can post sarcasm, but you fail to read it…..
"Eagles fans are a passionate group who love their team," said McNabb, "if not the actual players. It's not like winning a Super Bowl before the first month of the season is the hardest thing they've ever asked of me. That'd be all those times they asked me to go kill myself."
by greenbean#twoOH on Feb 9, 2010 10:00 AM EST up reply actions
worse agent then rosenhaus
But getting back to Chuck. I remember this one time, Chuck was talking to God. God was telling Chuck about the time Samson killed 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. God said to Chuck, “What do you think about that?” Chuck said, “Well that’s one way to do it.” God just laughed and smiled at Chuck’s wisdom and said “I knew you were going to say that.”
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’ house is a Total Gym.
"You know...I think you got the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, and take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya, and uh. If you don't have my money for me, I'll...crack your fuckin head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail...Hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? I'll split your fuckin head open again! Cause I'm fuckin stupid! I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Joe Pesci in Casino
Well that explains a lot.
But nothing that i ever really wanted to know. :(
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