FanPost

Who's gonna win this week?

I didn't see Astley asking obvious questions about this weeks game like he usually does, so I thought I would help out.

I'm concerned about how the Eagles will peform during the game this week. I haven't checked the TV schedule yet, but I'm sure they will be kicking off right about the same time my wife has me spending time with family or doing the bills, or reshingling the roof.  That's how it works every week.

Will the defense will hold up and be able to play 3 quarters, or will they head out to Starbucks for the 4th like they did last week? 

Are the corners are going to be able to cover and tackle? And why are our corners midgets anway? Last year's spine compression on Ellis Hobbs was so bad that it looks like he has a tail now. Bad for speed, but good for stability.  I can see it wagging every time he gets a pic or breaks up a pass.  And how will Samuels be able to tackle? His only move is spearing with his helmet, now that's outlawed he better start tieing peoples shoe-laces together because Ugly Betty is better tackler than he is.

The safetys have been mostly OK this year - certainly better than expected. WTF knew? Coleman sure knows how to rack up those penalties but he's aggressive. Kind of like my ex-wife was with my credit card. His rookie year looks a little like Fokous' did - aggressive, lots of promise, some dumb mistakes.

Linebackers? Stew isn't what he was before he was injured. Better than the rest of them, but still no pro-bowler for sure.  I expect him to improve the 2nd half of the season as he trusts the knee more.  They are doing better with the run and they have only changed on starter so far.  Acceptable in the middle isn't going to win a super bowl, but it is sure better than the Zombie-Corps that we had to suffer with last year.

And what's with Trevor Laws, Antonio Dixon and Juqua Parker? I mean just when I really started to dislike all three of them, they get their games on. Jerks! They made a liar out of me. The crap I have to put up with.

Then we have to ask WTF is up with O-line. I mean jeez.  How many times will Peters get injured this week or do we have him wrong?  Maybe he just like to roll in the grass like a happy dog between downs and we just THINK he's injured.  Will Dunlap come through?  He had one really good game, which no one would ever have guessed. Does he have a second solid game in his career?  Will Nick Cole continue to accidentally snap the ball while they are still in the huddle?  Is Herremann's head too big? Is that what's up with the offsides?

Quarterback  - who is our starting QB this week? Kafka? McNabb?  Cunningham?  I'm so freaking confused. Forget buying a Jersey until Reid is gone. Maybe I'll just get a fat suit and walrus mustache to dress up like Reid for the games. He's the only one who has been there long enough to make buying a jersey a worthwhile investment, and he doesn't even have one.

Running backs and fullbacks - We don't need em. Never used them.  Why start now?  What do they do anyway? 

And we don't have wide receivers, we have 'concussion receivers'.  It's a freaking revolving door out there.  It's like you can't be a WR for Philly unless your brains are dripping out of your nose.  Maclin hasn't done his share this year. Where's HIS concussion? Talk about selfish. He should be hitting his own head with a hammer on the sidelines to prove he wants to play.  I think they should all start wearing Darth Vader helmets and be allowed to use their heads as much as they like.

Wait a minute.... This is BYE week.  They aren't even playing.

Never mind - Sorry to waste your time Astley.

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