Couch Groove Week 6 NFL Picks
12. New York Giants over Detroit
I like the Lions, because they finally snapped like some bullied four-eyed kid in junior high and laid into one of their 31 tormentors. Of course, they beat up the kid who bullies them and is often bullied themselves (St. Louis), but Detroit really showed some pop in those punches. Sadly, they face a real bully this week, and that’s a defense that Tom Coughlin has apparently scared straight. Knock Jay Cutler out? Check. Embarrass Houston’s offense? Check. Unless they have a letdown, the Giants are going to leave Detroit stuffed in their own locker.
SCORE: Giants 27, Lions 13
10. New Orleans over Tampa Bay
I remain like Bart Simpson at Kamp Krusty, when the corrupt businessman and the bullies ran the place, and it rendered Bart a bug-eyed delude, staring straight ahead, mumbling “Krusty is coming, Krusty is coming” to try and remain optimistic. I’m the same way when it comes to the dominant Saints, who have yet to dominate this season, or even vaguely resemble their old championship selves. I’m going to keep picking them until they dominate someone, so I can claim credit for their turnaround. This seems like a reasonable strategy.
SCORE: Saints 27, Buccaneers 14
4. Philadelphia over Atlanta
What’s the time? Homer time. What’s the time? Homer time. Atlanta’s the best team in the NFC right now as far as I’m concerned, but the Eagles did manage to stuff Frank Gore on Sunday, and they’re capable of doing the same to Michael Turner (provided no early letdown). Atlanta’s struggled against some bad teams like Cleveland and San Francisco, so the Eagles, if they play mistake free, have a good shot at taking this one. The interesting subplot will be seeing if they implement Jerome Harrison right off the bat and allow him and LeSean McCoy to confuse the Falcons’ sometimes suspect defense.
SCORE: Eagles 20, Falcons 17
2. St. Louis over San Diego
Injury to Mark Clayton and pasting by the Lions aside, I really like the Rams. I like them more than the Chargers, who beat themselves more than the average male teen. The Chargers defense, old gray man, she ain’t what she used to be, and Sam Bradford has the capacity to learn things as he goes along. I think he takes the embarrassing loss to the Lions to heart, and then works extra hard to beat a team in disarray like San Diego. This seems like a good day for Steven Jackson to run wild. Someone should ask the Chargers if they miss LaDainian Tomlinson yet.
SCORE: Rams 21, Chargers 20